Any dual military couples? ROTC?

posted 3 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
3778 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

So with you saying ROTC I’m assuming you’ll be going back to school? I did ROTC and knew a few people that were dual military. It wasn’t bad at the time because one of them was in school. Dual military is always going to have its difficulties. I have friends that spent their first year of marraige apart because they weren’t able to get the same duty stations. If you have kids you’re going to have to have someone that you can fully rely on watching them if you both get deployed at the same time. Other than that I don’t have anything else to say other than I’ve seen it done. It’s a little more difficult than most relationships but it is totally doable.

Post # 4
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

well in the air force we call it AFSC, not MOS, and i was dual military with my ex husband. it worked out fine for us but it was hard once we had our son because you have to designate someone to care for them in the event both of you get deployed. we were overseas and didnt know many people so to have to designate a local person (we didnt really know) to keep him until a family member from the states could get him was difficult, however we both didnt deploy at the same time so that made it easier. hard thing about having the same job is what if he promotes before you? then you wont be able to stay at that base because of conflict of interest. why not choose a different job?

 

Post # 6
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Payless:  oh yeah if you will be an officer that will definetely be a conflict of interest, kinda funny to have your FI salute you though haha. I was in for 8 years and he did 10. if you can do 20 years its so worth it to retire, im not sure how old you are but if i couldve stayed in i would be retiring at 38 years old getting a check for the rest of my life. i got out on medical so i couldnt stay in. as an officer i cant speak much to that since i dont have that experience so it might be a little harder with him being enlisted. i have seen some couples that were married as enlisted and then one got comissioned and they were ok to be in different departments, but with you going straight in as an officer, i would probabyl speak to a recruiter about that to see what your options are. i worked in Comm doing video production and broadcasting. do you know what you want to do? i know most officers would have a degree in something but their job in the AF was totally different.

Post # 8
Member
29 posts
Newbee

I’m in the same boat you are. 🙂

 

I have an appointment next week to try to talk to the  air force ROTC people at my school, and my bf (who was previously army) is trying to either join the navy or air force, too. I’ll be an officer and he’ll be enlisted. I’m planning on only doing 4 years too, because I want kids. 

Post # 9
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Payless:  well good luck hon! thank you for even considering serving our country!

Post # 10
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

If you feel strongly about it and you’ve both discussed your plan then I wish you all the best.

I agree with other Bees about it mostly being difficult if you were to have children. This happened to a couple I know, she was in the Marines and he is in the Army. She got pregnant, they got married, then spent the first year of their son’s life apart. It was very hard. I think she asked every family member and person she knew to refuse to ever take care of her son so that she could get out and just be with her husband who knew he wanted to make a life long career out of serving.

It was hard but eventually they let her out and she was able to join her husband. They now have two children and are very happy.

Post # 11
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Just make  sure you we’d before being commissioned!  You don’t want to get hit with a fraternization charge;it’ll be bad for you and worse for him. And ROTC isn’t the easiest thing to get into, you have to have stuff like letters from your congressman vouching for you. Plus,  depending on the needs of the Air Force,  what they need you to major in may not be something you like. But if you only want to do 4 years,  why not just enlist?  ROTC is a pretty long term commitment,  4 years of school,  4 years of active duty and 4 years of  reserve duty. Plus,  officers have a different type of contract than enlisted,  as an enlisted person at your four years,  if you don’t reenlist you’re out. But with officers,  you stay in until you tell them you want out,  and they at times try to persuade you to continue  (please note that this is not first hand knowledge,  its from various  officers at my command). Plus, if you only serve 4 years as an officer,  you won’t be eligible for the girls bill,  whereas as enlisted you would. As for mil to mil marriage,  its not easy. In the Navy,  they only stagger commands (meaning 1 spouse on sea duty the other shore,  I guess in other services that’s 1 who’s deployable and the other who’s not) after ones first term,  its very easy to go through back to back deployments. Even on non deploying duty,  the sheer fact that you can be called in to work at any time,  it’s hard to have quality time that isn’t comprised of sleeping!  Like many pp’s posted,  having kids is that much harder too, even while on shore,  again because of wacky hours you need really flexible childcare. 

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