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Is there anyone you love, but just don't want at your wedding?
Who and why?
Mr Frenchie didn't want to invite his "steps" (as he calls them) on his Dad's side b/c they aren't very nice to us... and I didn't want to invite my cousin's on my Dad's side b/c I never talk to them and they didn't invite me to their wedding.
oh the dramz.. most of my father's side hasn't spoken to us in three years. there's also a gun-toting scary uncle mixed in there, who unfortunately lives with my only living grandma, who is also.. different.
how we go about cherry picking those invites, I have no idea.
Gold_and_Clear_Vintage_Vine_Bracelet.jpg (37.6 KB, 36 downloads) 1 year old 
My dad's brother has a daughter from another marriage and her husband he wanted us to invite. I (and my parents) didnt want to because I have not seen her since I was too young to remember and we were already at too many people. My grandma kept asking that she be there so we said ok but this was a couple weeks before the wedding and we had no more invitations left. My grandma called her and asked if she would come and she was so excited. Ok, great they were coming and it wasnt that big a deal anymore. Cut to the reception when I see there are 2 empty spots next to my aunt and uncle at their table. I asked my mom where my cousin and her husband was and she said they didnt come and didnt even give an excuse. Seriously? I know it was a last minute invitation but we did it because her dad and my grandma wanted them there and they were so rude to accept and then NOT show up!!
My mr. didn't want to invite an entire branch on his mom's side. We are inviting them so there's no drama. But for a while there we weren't planning to.
couple_texas.jpg (35 KB, 6 downloads) 1 year old 
We had some college friends whom I just didn't want to invite. We've just lost touch with them and are living totally different lives at this point. It might have been awkward if we hadn't, because other mutal friends were there. We invited them, but I was totally annoyed to see them there.
I dead refuse to invite my Dad's sister's sons and their families. They are mega-Christian- I'm atheist, and I don't have a problem with their religion, it's how they push it so offensively on other people! They scorn anyone that isn't as religious as them, and demand prayers at weird times and criticize you if you don't join in. I can't stand them, didn't even consider whether to invite them or not, it was automatically a no (we aren't close anyway). It will be an atheist wedding, I know they'll wreak havoc if given the chance, so I won't give it :P Plus, Dad isn't even that close to them, though his Mom is, and I know she wants them invited- oh well.
Oh wait, but I don't love them, hah! 
there are absolutely a few family members I don't want to invite. My family is huge, though, so I couldn't just not invite one or two (even if one is a pedophile, and the other's just out of jail). Luckily, they've rsvp'd "not coming"
Unfortunately my niece. She is a thief! Her Mum, to her credit had this girl in therapy, meds, etc. since te age of 4 years old. My niece is grown and has two kids of her own and just went to court for more thievery charges. She just can't seem to help herself - she has stolen from every family member, every friend, friends, and has been fired from every job she has ever had because of theft. And I do love her and I am not going to ruin my wedding day trying to watch my niece every moment to make sure she is not stealing from our guests!
I don't want to invite my maternal uncle and his wife...my uncle used to be a wonderful person and I adored him as a child. But his wife is a evil witch who treats my grandparents HORRIBLY and is downright nasty to all of us as well, since they got married fifteen years ago he's getting to be more like her personality-wise.
I don't really want to invite cousins on one side. We wanted a wedding around 75 people and not having them there would allow that. However, it's not an option so they're on the list. I did assure them that if they didn't want to make the trip I would completely understand. :)
Kitchinwedding5_10.jpg (2115.6 KB, 22 downloads) 1 year old 
We did not invite my husband's uncle who has trouble with alcohol. I also didn't invite my one of my first cousins because she is not very friendly and nice. (I met her later in life as she was given up for adoption. She only wants a relationship with my aunt which is fine with me.)
We didn't invite a whole circle of relatives and I don't regret it one bit. Both my parents have several siblings, all of whom have spouses and children. If we invited some, we'd have to invite them all. In the end, we invited one out of town aunt, and all the grandparents and basically none of the family that lives on the other side of the country. I love them but none of them have made an effort to have a relationship with me since my parents split up in my very early adulthood. I'm sure it came off as "playing favourites" but we just went through the entire family and invited people who knew us as a couple and had an existing relationship with us. That helped keep the wedding balanced in terms of guests from my side and his, and kept us below 70 guests which was our ultimate goal!
3.JPG (314 KB, 26 downloads) 1 year old 
I have tons of extended family members that I never see/don't care for, but feel obligated to invite. I'm really hoping that when the time comes they send their regrets.
My beloved cousin was killed in a construction accident in 2000 and left a wife and two small children. Soon after, his widow moved across the country with the kids and a boyfriend. There was some questioning as to whether or not the boyfriend was around before the accident so there are some underlying suspicions. Now that the kids are teenagers and they have all moved back there is an effort in our family to re-connect with them, especially so the kids have a link with their dad's extended family, but it was a relief in May when my cousin's widow didn't come to my brother's wedding but the kids did (the only 2nd cousins who were invited - there are dozens of other cousins' children). I am REALLY hoping the same happens for my wedding. I'd love to have my cousin's kids there but I would be pretty uncomfortable if their mom came with her boyfriend. I could deal with just the mom (although I haven't seen her in almost 10 years) but the boyfriend (who I've never met) would weird me out.
I'm going to be uneasy about inviting one of my aunts - she and my mother DO NOT get along and I really don't want my mother to stress out about her. Inviting 13 out of 14 aunts and uncles will be a bit awkward though.
My father -- he and I have been on the rocks lately. He is a habitual liar (I swear he lives in his own fantasty land) -- we've never had anything you might call a good relationship. However, he recently failed to acknowledge my birthday and my graduation from grad school. No phone call, no "I'm so proud of you." Nothing. I'm struggling with whether or not he's worthy of an invitation.
My Uncle is giving me fits as well. His wife (my father's sister, a wonderful woman) passed away suddenly last year. Within 3 or 4 months of her passing, my uncle was engaged (!!!) to someone else. Needless to say, this has created family drama like you wouldn't believe. Even if I wanted him there, I don't know if I'd want to subject his kids and the rest of our family to seeing him there with another woman (who will be his wife at that point).
I have a great aunt whose family is just crazy except for her daughter. I get along with her. The rest of her family, not so much.
My great aunt's hubby is just creepy looking and feeling anytime he is near and we don't even conversate with each other. Their eldest son is such a douche. He thinks he is the coolest thing. My dad and other uncle doesn't get annoyed that easily especially with family but this cousin of mine has pushed many buttons on those two. It's unfortunate but no one really wants to invite that family to anything, they just feel obligated. Oh and this aunt didn't even go to her daughter's wedding because her husband wasn't the right shade...sad right? BUT she has the nerve to comment on what others are doing for their weddings.
@DC Anna - sigh, I have the same problem with my father. If you decide to invite him, will you have someone else walk you down the aisle? Mine will be attending, but NOT walking me down the aisle. My 10 year old nephew is going to, because he's about the only person that my father can't get too mad at. (I'd love my brother to, but he's close with my dad and I don't want to put him in that position....and my dad specificlally told someone that he will get up and leave if my mom walks me down the aisle.)
Out of 3 brothers, two are great. It's the other brother and his wife I don't want to invite. But I am. They will probably be ok the day of the wedding (if they even come, they don't talk to any of us anymore) but after the wedding is when all the comments and family drama will start. So I'm sending them an invite and crossing my fingers they don't come.
An uncle on my FH's side. He's really really nice and I like him just fine. But he definitely has struggles with alcohol, I don't like his wife or children, and my friend once walked in on him walking around with his pants around his ankles.
My step-sisters, step-brothers and their spouses. I've only known them for about 3 years and seen/talked to them all of 4 times so we're def not close. And I'd rather not invite FI's extended family that he only sees every 2 years but it would be obvious if we didn't and they'd all be wondering why we invited the other half of the extended family and not them. Oh, and unfortunately, my FMIL and FI don't want to invite my great uncle because he made an a$$ of himself at our engagement party. Drama drama!
I despise my uncle (mother's brother). He is an abusive drunk and just generally a total a**hole. His wife is a holier-than-thou type who has criticized my mother for spending money on Christmas gifts for her nieces because "materialism isn't the spirit of christmas" and then either she or the drunk uncle stole the gift from the kids and sold it. Real "Christian" of them, right? Also the uncle's wife has called me spoiled and the uncle has said QUOTE "any idiot could do my job." My grandmother who I love to pieces will be very upset if they aren't invited to the wedding, so the plan is to invite them and then my mother is going to call them and basically tell them not to come by emphasizing how expensive it will be for them to make the trip and stay in hotels, etc. She would never say that to anyone in ANY other situation, but none of us want them there and we have to do something to placate my grandmother while still assuring they won't come. Uncle will just get wasted and say nasty things about our family and his wife will just walk around with her nose up criticizing the money my parents are spending on my wedding. I don't need it, they don't need it, and it's not happening on my watch.
@knapper08: My father already knows that my mother will be walking me down the aisle. I made that decision a while back. My father was never a candidate and I don't have any brothers.
My father didn't raise me and he was the antithesis of a good man so he has no right to any of the "father" roles. He won't be making a toast, won't be walking me down the aisle and we won't be having a dance. Thus, given his current behavior, I'm thinking about just not having him there. I'm glad you have a sweet nephew to walk you down the aisle -- I bet that's a big honor for him!
Yes! There are about 6 teenagers in my family who I LOVE, but I just don't want them at the wedding! They always try to sneak alcohol and get into mischief every time I see them, so I just don't want to deal with that drama on my wedding day :(
Certainly is, and I didn't invite them. simple as that (granted, my parents weren't to pleased - but I don't need that drama)
There's a few people I'd rather not invite just 'cause we're not close to them, and all they do is inflate the guest list. But we're not really "opposed" to them, in terms of liking them or not. We just don't really know them.
Mostly my cousins (out of 13 -- not including SOs -- there's only 3 I actually want there), and a couple of his (there's just one cousin he doesn't want to invite). *shrugs* But other than that, we're happy with our guest list so far.
We want to have a small wedding (75 peeps) so I would really like to leave out most of my dad's side whom I am not very close to. However there has recently been a lot of healing in hurt relationships and I think inviting them would be the right thing to do.
I have a lot of family members who I plan to leave off the list. My mom's side of the family is relatively small, so they've stayed in touch with second and third cousins (and their children and grandchildren) and want me to invite them to the wedding. I am somewhat close with one of those families (they lived near where I went to college and used to invite me over sometimes) so I would like to invite them, but not their children (or their parents, or my third cousin once-removed's sister and her family!). But that would probably be an unforgiveable snub (to invite one of the three families, but not the other two... and their kids' families OY), so I'm not inviting them, either. It's just too easy to get carried away when you have to worry about the decendants of your granparents' cousins, you know? Jeez.
i definitelt cherry picked. I have a couple dozen cousins that I do not care for and I didnt invite my dad's sister (but I did invite her son). Unfortunately, several uninvited guests showed up. "There's a wedding in the family? My invite must have been lost." I hate to sound petty but I was irriated to know end when I saw X there. She gave me dirty looks all night and I didnt speak to her at all...petty, I know. But that is why I didnt invite her.
I didn't want to invite my FBIL, but I knew that wasn't going to happen, so I have to suck it up and be a big girl and just deal with him on the day.
I have cousins kids I dont really know that well I wouldnt mind if they stayed home
I'm not alone 
After my dad passed when I was 11 the only one from his family that kept contact was my grandmother. She passed close to 8 years now, so needless to say "the other family" as I call them will not be there. The only one's from my dad side will be my brothers.
Most recently, if you read my prior post of cousin picking same wedding date...well I just don't feel I want her or her fam for that matter there. Currently the siblings in that family (all my cousins) are fighting with each other. Some people are just happy when they are miserable...and I don't want the drama. I'll probably send the invites but, I'm just hoping b/c I'm getting married out of state they won't show up.
4672_color_2.jpg (62.1 KB, 32 downloads) 1 year old 
One of my single Aunts. First of all she is 99% likely to become a drunken mess because she does that frequently I hear, and secondly she hasn't been nice to my family. I never remember her being nice to my mom, especially when I got older and was more aware of things like that, and now she is not being nice to my father (she is his half sister and the only family left that's not in South America). If I invite her I'll be worried that she'll be rude to my family or just be a drunken mess. Did I mention she is an attention seeker? At my cousin's wedding she was blitzed at the rehearsal dinner, but I guess wasn't so bad at the wedding. Her wedding consisted of 300 guests tho, mine is only 100. I'm not sure what to do but as of now her name is not on an invitation. Oh - and I know she would show up.. she lives in the same town my wedding is being held in 
my uncle. I absolutely adored him while growing up ~ but he and my mom have been fueding over religion/politics for years now. He sends her hateful emails, which she forward to their siblings ... it's a terrible, immature mess. I've tried to maintain a nuetral stance as much as possible because as much as I love my mom, I actually agree with my uncles political veiws. I've also tried reminding them that emails are the WORST form of communication because even the best of intentions can be read completely wrong. Anyway, as of right now they're not speaking. My uncle congratulated my engagement and I'm sure is expecting an invitation. I just can't see myself inviting someone who has brought my mother to tears. I could never dream of making my own mother uncomfortable at my wedding ~ so I'm not inviting him. I don't know how to tell him that though .............
I have a few aunts and uncles who really will come and just sit there the entire time .... they're just not the most social people and really not all that fun ... they are harmless, but basically a waste of space and a plate of dinner. Gosh that was mean but felt nice to get off my chest!
Oh do I ever!
My 1/2 brother (Dad's son), his wife & kids. My brother is an alcoholic, drinks while he drives (I'm talking alkeyhol), never looks showered or shaved and is the DEFINITION of Red Neck. If anyone wears flannel & jeans to my wedding it'll be him. :( His wife is nice but also never looks clean, same for the kids. The kids are also incredibly rude and impolite. I'm hoping they RSVP "no" LOL!
Another person is my 1/2 sister (Mom's Daughter). She's mean, attention-grabby and rude. Thank GOD she RSVP's "no" - well she didn't RSVP, she called me (she tried to get me to say "I'm SO sorry you can't make it" but I didn't - she & I have NEVER gotten along), and during the call she said '"A" (my neice) hasn't made up her mind yet, but if she comes she's bringing a friend in my place.' I was dumbfounded - my jaw hit the floor! She's TELLING me that her daughter IS bringing a friend - not ASKING! She was like "are you there" and I stuttered "yyyyyeah, that's um... fine?". HOW RUDE! I mean I'd never tell my 18 year old neice that if she wants to come she HAS to come make the 2+ hour, across state lines drive alone, but jeez it's polite to ask! *sigh* My brother (that I DO get along with) & I joke that she gave FI & me an early wedding present - she's not coming! I'm so glad, she'd be so snarky and rude all night that I'd probably want to slap her! It's so mean but my brother, my Mom & me won't claim her as family it's always "your sister" and "your daughter". LOL
@DC Anna - good for you! I wish I didn't have to include my father, but I have to....he was a huge part of my life for many years, but we've um grown apart over the last 10+ ....and I talk to him 2-3 times a year, just enough so that he has to be invited. He hasn't asked me who's walking me down the aisle, so I haven't told him. But the fact that I told his gf he isn't needed the night before (rehearsal) or to wear a tux, I'm assuming he'd get my drift that it isn't him. He doesn't deserve to give me (the woman he barely knowns anymore) away to a man he barely knows.... Best of luck - and yes, my nephew is so excited! He'll be the only other person in a matching tux with the FI!
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