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New to the Boards But Not to Waiting...

Any grooms hyphenating or changing their name?

posted 2 years ago in Grooms/men
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    1.
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    Bumble bee
    Gilneas    October 10, 2010   NJ

    I've been trying to talk my fiance into taking my last name, but he's not into it.  I seemed to have struck a compromise of us both hypenating our last names (so our new last name would be MyLast-HisLast).  Our last names are shorter, and sound OK together, and I'm happy to have found a solution where we can share a last name as a family, but I won't have to lose my last name.

    I see a lot about brides hyphenating (HerLast-HisLast) with the groom keeping his name (HisLast).  Does anyone have a groom who is changing his last name?

     
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    Busy bee
    mimosa    May 29, 2010   NC

    My groom isn't, but I know a groom who did that.  They both hypenated their names using her last name-his last name.  I think it's a cool idea.  It's like starting a new last name lineage!

     
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    I wish he would. Oh, how I wish. It just doesn't seem fair that I'm expected to change or hyphante mine, and he doesn't feel like he needs to even consider it. I'm not saying he expects me to change it, but other people do, and while I'd really LOVE to have the same last name, he's okay with us having totally different last names and it makes me totally sad. It would be a little more work for him to change it, seeing that he's ordained and has some licenses, but I think it would be worth it...

    It's really upsetting, actually.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    redherring    September 11, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    My fiance has agreed to add my name as a second middle or last name, so we'd both be FirstName MiddleName MyLast HisLast. However, this will make both of our names freakishly long (30 characters for him, 34 for me), so I'm still deliberating if this is what I want to do.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    I forgot to add that we went to a wedding this summer where they COMBINED their last names! As in one name, first two letters from her name with the last part of his name. New name was Isner! Loved that.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Gilneas    October 10, 2010   NJ

    @KMSull - My fiance actually WANTS us to combine our last names (it's my last name + the last five letters of his last name).  We use it informally (I actually just got new address labels that have our combined last name on them, followed by our first and last names).  BUT I like my current last name SO much better than our combined last name.

    He actually compromised with the hypehnated last name because he can just drop the first two letters of his last name and have our combined last name he likes so much :)

    @RedHerring - We were going to each drop our middle names, and take each other's last names as our second middle name (so he would be HisFirst MyLast HisLast and I would be MyFirst HisLast MyLast) but I still wasn't sure what we would do about the kids.

     
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    Busy bee
    lkbphmd    August 7, 2010   MN (ceremony in Omaha, NE)

    The other night I jokingly suggested that we both hyphenate our last names and FI was all over the idea.  He even settled that mylast-hislast sounded the best.  I wish that I had never brought it up!  He is also very supportive of me not changing my name.  I'm not really that fond of my last name, so I think I'll just change it and be done with it.

     
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    Sugar bee
    LittlestBirds    July 24, 2010   Seattle, WA

    My FI is taking my last name as his middle name, and I'm taking his last name.

    He still can't decide whether he is up for the plunge of eliminating his current middle name, or add my last as a second middle name. Though, when he mentions how it would feel weird for him to drop his current middle name entirely, I grumble softly "I'm changing...my... LAST...NAME." That makes him laugh and reconsider.

     
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    Sugar bee
    Goldilocks1107    September 2010   Madison, WI

    My uncle hyphenated. And both names were really long (7 and 9 letters respectively). And their children also have the hyphenated name.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Mrs. Louboutin    July 2010  

    I applaud you bees who have found FI's willing to do this.  I mentioned something like this to my FI in passing and his response regarding people who do this (he couldn't believe anyone ever would) was not something I will repeat.

     
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    Bumble bee
    MyraG    August 14, 2010  

    I'm such a traditionalist I totally giggle when I think of taking his last name. He is the last boy in his family to carry his last name. His brother truly dislikes children and we don't think he will ever have them. So its kind of up to us to carry his last name. My last name is super common so i'm kind of indifferent to it.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    cinemaparadiso    July 16, 2015  

    I'm like you, Myra. I think it's totally cool when grooms will do it, but my last name is super common so I'm DONE with it! I have a very very common whole name.

     
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    Helper bee
    laurenadela    10/16/09   Houston

    we're tossing around the idea of combing our names, but we can't find a combination we like. our last names are pollard and alverson, we just cant think of anything.  maybe pollverson? lol or alvard? HAHA i dunno they just all sound funny, any ideas?

     
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    Bumble
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    Mr. DG took my last name as a middle name.  We love having each other's names as middle names while still retaining our identities :)

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    J actually suggested taking my last as his second middle (I would legally change it that way too) so we'd both be First Middle MyLastAsMiddle HisLast. I haven't decided yet, but it made me really happy when he suggested it. One of the things that made me fall for him was his respect for gender equality, which is super dooper important to me. :)

     
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    Blushing bee
    CinnamonStick    May 14, 2010   Gettysburg, PA

    My Fiance doesn't like his last name and likes mine, so we're probably just going to end up both with my last name, not even hyphenated. We've also considered blending the two... But the only good way to do that gives us a name thats the same as a pretty popular (and unique) TV personality that we don't want to seem like we're replicating.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    So he's warming to the idea of hyphanating, which makes me feel way better. We went to one of those drive through Christmas light displays with his parents and while we got a funnel cake, we talked about it a little more. Here's hoping!

     
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    Sugar bee
    msmonicka    June 19, 2010   Milwaukee, Wisconsin

    This is the first I"m hearing of such a thing...interesting.

     
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    Sugar bee
    Entangled    September 17, 2011   Carmel, CA

    I kind of want him to.  I am REALLY, REALLY attached to my last name.  Not only am I very attached to my father and his family (his mother and father were both writers and people I really admired), but it is a top-grade last name.  Impossible to mispronounce, short but not too common, rarely misspelled, gives no clues as to ethnicity or family background.  I tend to get a lot of "wow, that's a great name" type compliments, which is funny because it's not like I picked it to begin with, but kind of nice.

    His last name isn't bad, and he's as close to his father and father's family as I am to mine.  I don't blame him - they're awesome.  So not only would it be untraditional (which appeals to me) but it might also be seen as a sign that he wants to be less associated with them (which does not).  As far as people heckling about it, our friends and family are expert hecklers.  They will mock us WHATEVER we do, and we will mock them right back. 

    We're both keeping our given names, but whenever I'm asked whether I'm changing mine, I reply that while I would like one shared name, I respect his right to keep his. 

     
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    Bumble bee
    Gilneas    October 10, 2010   NJ

    @KMSull, we're rooting for you!!!

     
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    Helper bee
    wonderlanded    2 October 2010   London

    We talked about it, but ultimately decided we were both happier sticking with our own names. I would never dream of changing my name unless he was willing to do the same -- it just doesn't feel even or fair to me. Our kids will have the hyphenated version that we considered.

    Funnily enough, it's not like I completely love my last name or anything; when I was a kid, I hated it. But it's my last name, I've established myself and my identity with that name, and I'd rather not change it. Luckily, I have an FI who totally gets that and feels the same way about his.

    @daydreamwanderer -- I feel the same way about my FI. If he didn't respect gender equality and at least try to meet me half way on it, I don't think I would have fallen for him and I don't know if I'd be marrying him.

     
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    Busy bee
    Helstrong    April 9, 2011   Overland Park, KS

    @KMSull  We totally talked about combinging our names! 

    My screem name on here is actually a combination of our two last names, and the last name of our cat :).

    That is how it all got started. We got a cat back in the summer and his friend jokingly said we should give it the last name Helstrong. So we did. We jokingly have said that we are going to combine names when we get married. Then the other day we started talking about it more seriously. I almost want to, I kinda think Helstrong is a pretty awesome last night. 

    THE future MR. Helstrong isn't completely sold though. He likes the name but he also kind of wants to keep his family name going. Its a very common name, but I think he feels like he needs to continue it on since he only has a sister. 

    I'm not sure if I actually want to combine names or if it's all just a "pretty thought" in my head. . . . . can't decide :/

     

     
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    Helper bee
    Abbee    October 1, 2011   Dayton, OH

    My FI said that he absolutely would take my last name if my family's name could not be carried on by anyone else in my generation.  Fortunately I am blessed with many male cousins, and I can't wait to take his last name, it is so much more rare than mine, and cultural. 

     

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