Post # 1
FI and I decided to get married on a Saturday night in December because we REALLY wanted a Saturday night. We are getting married at our conservative synagouge. Non-Jewish vendors (i.e. catere’s staff, florist, etc) can get into the venue at 3pm, so that is not a problem. Shabbat ends early- 5:30pm. We can begin taking pictures then and need until about 7 or 7:30 for pictures.
FMIL want to do a tish- I do not, but she is not backing down. That is going to be at least 45 min. My main concern is that if we called that for 7pm, by the time we sign the ketubah the ceremony will not start until past 8pm and the cocktail hour closer to 9pm. I do not think you can start feeding guests at 9pm.
We COULD do the tishes for the bride and the groom at the same time as the cocktail hour and call it for 7pm.
Does it matter that we won’t be at the cocktail hour and people can come in and out of the tish? Did any of you do this? What time did you start? Did you do the cocktail hour before or after the ceremony?
Post # 3
I’m doing a Saturday night wedding. Our rabbi said we could do the ketubah signing at 6:30 but ceremony can’t start until 7pm. We are doing 90% of our pictures before the ketubah (around 4:30). Every Saturday jewish wedding I’ve been to started at 7pm. Cocktail hour 7:30-8:30.
We are not doing a tisch (we’re reform).
Post # 4
i would have cocktail hour before the ceremony.
Post # 5
Anytime I’ve seen a tisch at an evening wedding, it’s been combined with cocktail hour. The thing with the tisch is that people are going to see you before the ceremony anyway, so let them see you and then go get some food. At 7:30/7:45 you duck out to do the bedeken and ketubah signing. Then ceremony at 8, followed by the reception. The awesome part of the tisch being done during cocktail hour though is that you don’t have to do a receiving line and it will dramatically cut down on the meet&greet time at the reception.
Post # 6
Combining your cocktail hour with kabbalat panim/ tisch/ bedecken is what I have seen most often and what I am doing. Remember that you and your groom are king and queen for the day. You can be seated on your “throne” with your guests coming to greet you and family and friends can bring you food or a drink if you need it(assuming you’re not fasting). You do not have to sign the ketubah unless you want to, as it is his promise to care for YOU. 🙂 if you want to sign it, you can do it at some point earlier in the evening so you don’t have to worry about it while guests are greeting you.
If you choose not to have a bedecken, then you’re all set to head to the chuppah at this point.
These are such beautiful traditions! I hope you can figure out how to work it all in 🙂
At your reception, while guests are waiting for you to arrive or be introduced as husband and wife, the bar can be open and you could consider having your salad course served at this time.
Best of luck!
Post # 7
@KallahinBaltimore: So true, I think all too often in this we forget the the most important tradition has always been that the bride and groom are supposed to be treated like a king and queen and amazingly happy on their wedding day. Anything being ‘forced’ on you actually directly goes against this if it is going to make you enjoy your wedding less.
Post # 8
@OP: I absolutely agree that you shouldn’t let your FMIL force you into doing anything you don’t want to do on your special day, but, since you are considering it, I hope all of the responses were helpful in showing you that it can be done pretty flawlessly. 🙂 Best of luck no matter how you decide to proceed!
Post # 9
We are doing a Saturday evening wedding. Our Rabbi was okay with starting a little after 6PM. So we will do all of our pictures before everything. ketubah signing will be around 5:15 and then ceremony around 6, yichud directly following and then we’ll join the cocktail hour probably 15 minutes after it starts.
We were also really wanting a Saturday wedding (my parents also got married on Saturday), especially because we are having a brunch the following day and i didn’t want all of our out of town guests to leave early and not come to the brunch because they had to go to work. So by doing it on Saturday, guests can come to the brunch Sunday and then make their way home leisurly.
Post # 10
I am also considering a Sat night wedding in Feb 2013 for the same reasons. I am hoping I can find a rabbi that won’t need to travel too far so we won’t need to start to late.
Post # 11
here was our situation/timeline–we had a saturday night wedding, in august, so it was all really late! we took photos (outside, not at the synagogue) starting around 5, and then the ceremony began at 7:30 when the sun set (ie, the earliest our reform rabbi was comfortable doing it). then, cocktail hour at 8:30, dinner at 9:30. it was late, but no one complained (to us, at least!)
but if you want to do a tisch, I’ve seen them done combining it with cocktail hour, as other posters have written