Post # 1
So I’ve been on weddingbee for a while and I feel like I see so many posts from bees in their late 20s and early 30s expressing the urgency they feel to get pregnant due to their age. I’m sure this urgency is partially due to the biological clock but also partially due to the standard age at which people in their region have children.
I’m 29 but feel absolutely no urgency to get pregnant. I want kids in the future but just don’t feel that hurried need to get pregnant right now. I dont’ feel the clock ticking. I know the studies on reduced fertility and age but they just don’t give me that kick in the pants. I guess the way I see it is when I’m ready mentally, I’ll get pregnant and if I can’t…oh well, I won’t be devestated.
I got married at 28, (week before I turned 28) and my ob/gyn who is a well known fertility expert said I have plenty of time to have kids and that I shouldn’t rush it. So maybe those words made me very relaxed about the whole thing. Additionally, I’m in the middle of my friends, age wise and the first of my friends is just now pregnant. She’s 32. And I don’t know anyone under 30 who has a planned child, (one accidental baby though.)
Any other bees feel the same way I do? No rush to get pregnant even though you’re nearing or passed 30?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t say I feel that way as I am 27 and pregnant now, but I do know what you mean in terms of maybe it’s a cultural / regional thing. I am by FAR the earliest of my friends to get married and get pregnant. I feel like they think I am from outer space when I talk about wanting to have a baby! (Nobody knows yet that I am pregnant). I’m in Eastern Canada, and I’m a grad student in science, as are most of my friends. They are all around the same age as me and none of them are childfree or anything, they just see it as a far-away thing that will happen sometime in their future. I expect most of them are 5-10 years away from parenthood. I will be the pioneer, for sure! Of all my friends and all my acquaintences and even just the people I still ‘know’ because they’re on my facebook – not just from university but from high school too – almost nobody my age has kids. The only exception to that are the people I know from when I lived in Alberta – by 23, every last one of them had kids! They all have 2 or 3 now.
Post # 4
In a word: yup. I’m 28 now, will be 29 at our wedding. I’ll still have a few semesters of grad school to finish and our big plans for the first year of marriage involve getting a dog (CANNOT WAIT – we have wanted one for years!).
We’re not sure we want children yet – we are both in-between, sometimes more towards no, sometimes more towards yes.
The trend in my family leans more towards having your first around 32, so I’m not feeling pressure from family, either.
Post # 5
Yes, me. FI and I are both in our early 30s. My mom had kids “late in life” and I feel we kids turned out pretty fantastic.
Right now, for the next few years that is, FI and I are just not in the right place yet to bring in the little ones, we have some other things we want to get done first. We keep healthy and know we’re not close to running out the clock just yet. BTW we plan to have two, when the time is right.
Post # 6
I’m 29 and my FI is 30. Most of our friends have been married for about 2 years and are just now starting to have childen. I’ll admit that seeing them all pregnant and with newborns has put a bit of ‘baby fever’ into me – but realistically, I know that we’ll wait a couple of years before we start trying. We’ll probably be on our first when everyone else is on their second child, and I’m okay with that!
Post # 7
I was in the same boat as you are – got married a few weeks before I turned 28, and was married for about four years before DH and I even considered TTC. I’m 32 and pregnant now at just about nine weeks. We were in no rush at all, but at some point, we just thought, okay, we can start trying now. I think when it feels right, you’ll just know it because a lot of things in your life will be in order and it’ll click.
For a while, I was even fine with maybe never having kids and was perfectly happy and willing to accept a life with just my husband, but ah well, things change. 🙂 Maybe it’ll be the same for you!
Post # 8
I am almost 34 and have absolutely no desire for children right now, and I’m not sure I ever will be.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’m 30 and he’s 32, and we’re going to wait for 1.5-2 years to begin trying. We’re both just getting started in our careers (thank you graduate school) so we feel the need to save some money first. We would both be super happy to wait another 5 years, but I worry about my chances of getting pregnant, plus we want 2+ kids…
Post # 10
Yes, yes, yes! I’m 26, married for 6 months, and everyone seems to think it’s TIME. No, thank you – not for a good 3-ish years.
I have a friend in the same situation as me who recently got accidentally pregnant. It’s like my worst fear ever! Her first reaction when she found out was to start sobbing. I want to be excited because I wanted it to happen – not shocked and devastated because it happened at the wrong time.
Post # 11
Holla. I’m 27, but am not fretted about it in the slightest. I’m not sure that I ever want kids, but I know that I don’t want them right now. I’m in a Ph.D program, and I have nothing but respect for my colleagues who are moms and dads as well as students, but I just couldn’t do it.
Funny story about that, actually: when I was being diagnosed with PCOS, the nurse said, “Well, you may want to think about starting to try for a baby before you’re 30.” I actually laughed at her!
My mom had me whne she was 42, and I had a wonderful childhood. Pregnancy late-in-life doesn’t scare me, if that’s the road we decide to take. But it also may never happen, and I’m OK with that.
Post # 12
I’m 34 and even though it hasn’t even been 2 months since I married I get baby questions all the time. I honestly do not feel a rush right now. I don’t even plan on bringing up serious baby talk for at least another year.
Post # 13
I am 29, and will be 30 in april. I am reluctantly waiting. I would love to start trying, but I have 2 years left of my college teacher certification program, and we he wants to wait till we are in a position to buy a house. I agree that it would be inconvienient to be start trying until I am at least in my student teaching semseter, and saving up more money would be nice. A little part of me worries that once we hit the designated timeline to start he will give me another reason to wait (we both really want kids), and I’m just worried about waiting until the last minute and quickly trying to have them in a shorter time span.
Most women in my family have babies in their twenties, so sometimes it is difficult to sit and watch them with their chilcren, and wanting one of your own. Many of the girls I went to high school with have long since started families. Right now I am trying to focus on school, and making myself ready to be a mom (one day).
Post # 14
OMG me! me! I’m 27 and I totally am in no rush to have kids. Actually, I’m not 100% certain that I even want kids but I’m open to the idea (my FH already has 2, I feel like they’re good enough, lol). Inspired by a thread on here about a devastated Bee whose husband recently realized that he no longer wants kids as he originally promised, I had another talk with FH about the matter and he said he realizes that I’m not ready and that he doesn’t mind waiting a few years. I was relieved to hear that!
Post # 15
@Meowkers: “I feel like I see so many posts from bees in their late 20s and early 30s expressing the urgency they feel to get pregnant due to their age.”
Yes! I just mentioned this to FH while we were getting ready for bed last night… I am 31 and FH is 45, our wedding is about 19 mo away… I am in no rush to have kids, I’m starting to feel like I don’t want kids at all.
Post # 16
@mizjl: good point. I wasn’t pressed to get married before I met FH. But almost immediately after meeting him, I just “knew.” The same thing will probably happen when its time to have kids.