(Closed) Any LAWYERS OUT THERE?? Or anyone that can help?

posted 6 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

Not a lawyer, only a law student with limited experience, but it’s definitely possible for your fiance to adopt your son.  It will probably be timely and expensive, though.  First, your ex’s parental rights will need to be officially terminated.  If he agrees to this, easier.  If he fights you, you will have hearings/court/lawyers.  If he’s already only seeing them once a month with supervised visitation because of his violence/drug use, a court will probably be pretty sympathetic to termination and having your fiance adopt your son.  If your income is limited, check out legal aid and law clinics in your area.  If your income isn’t limited, and your ex contests the termination, you’ll likely be paying a lawyer a fair amount.  But (imho) totally worth it if it makes the three of you an official family.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My understanding was that it’s pretty difficult.  Tell him no more child support if your FI adopts and see if that helps persuade him to cooperate. 

Re the name, have you tried to petition the court to change it?  (I assume you have shared legal custody, otherwise you’d be able to do it yourself.)

Post # 6
Member
491 posts
Helper bee

If your’re from Texas, this is the law regarding termination of parental rights.  It looks like the fact that he pays child support might take away some of the options, but take a look at this list and see if anything might fit your situation. 

http://law.onecle.com/texas/family/161.001.00.html

Post # 8
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Does your fiance have to adopt your son?  What if your son already sees him as a better father figure?  All that money and grief to be poured into these legalities… they won’t mean a thing when your son turns 18.  Put it in an education fund.

Post # 12
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, but all of this trauma and fighting over the last name… All I’m saying is that it might be symbolic to us (as adults), but if your fiance is actively part of your sons life, and eventually (if not already) he is calling him “Dad”, don’t you think it is worth the peace to invest the energy into something more?

Post # 14
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I want to put my story out there for you this was my parents never saw my “sperm donor” he paid child support and all that would terminate his rights so we just did a legal name change I still do this day do not talk to or see my “sperm donor”. But I have my Dads (the only dad that has ever been there for me) last name! My parents fought for over a year and spent a ton of money and it didnt make a diffrence so the name change was as good as we could get 🙂 

Post # 15
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

lol I’m also having to deal with his mother on top of that, who wants to see him all the time

 If his mom wants to see her grandchild you should let her do that. Dont keep your son  away from that side of his family. I know your trying to bond your family together, and you dont want your DS to be considered a “step child” but in reality, his dad (no matter how present he is) is his dad. Your FI can still be his daddy without actually adopting him.

 My DS is from a previous relationship and although he sees his dad once a month it is not nearly enough, my FI is “daddy” to my DS. My son says he is blessed because he has 2 daddy’s. DS is my FI’s son and no one can tell him diferent. we dont need DNA, or papers to confirm that.  I understand you wanting your son to have your FI last name but please, please make sure that you have his best interest at heart. he doesnt have to have your last name to be apart of the family.

Good luck!

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