Post # 1
Usually, in an LDR, one person moves to be with the other. How many of us are in situations that will require both parties to move?
I’m moving to a new city for occupational reasons. The Boy will not be moving in when I do, but will be joining me once he gets his visa.
I had a choice between a few different areas, but I picked the one that works best for both of us. Since we aren’t moving at the same time, we’re not technically moving together, but it’s a change for both of us. I had to find a neighborhood with good mass transit and walkability (The Boy doesn’t drive yet and SoCal is not the most walkable place on Earth), summer temperatures that wouldn’t give him heatstroke, and reasonably low crime…and he couldn’t come look at apartments with me, either. I’m pretty sure planning our wedding will be a breeze in comparison 😉
Anyone in a similar situation?
Post # 3
We aren’t LD anymore but we did just move to a new city so I know how that feels! Hopefully you can find new people out there to keep you entertained until your FI moves in with you!
Post # 4
We’re not exactly in your boat, but we do have plans to move within a year and a half after getting married… He’s got to finish his masters, but then we’ll be coming back to China, where I work, and my company will probably put us in a city where I’ve never lived before (and of course, neither has he). But it won’t be right away.
Actually, I’m really glad we’ll have some time together in the States, even though I love it here. It’ll be his first time living abroad, and I’ve heard the first year of marriage abroad is just as hard (if not harder) than the first year of marriage (period) for a lot of couples, even if they’ve been married for years and years in the States (or their home country). No need to go through those two at the same time, eh? Plus culture shock for him, haha…
Post # 5
this was something my guy wanted us to do because he thought it was the fairest choice but my reluctance to move became a problem. after some back and forth, it looks like he’ll be moving to where i’m at first and then we’ll decide what to do from there, whether staying here or moving on to someplace else.
Post # 6
Now a days it is not so easy to get a visa and it can be time consuming and problematic. I’m not in this situation, but my friend is.
My friend is a US citizen and he got married overseas and his wife can’t get a visa to come to the USA. He spends his time flying back and forth.
So, here is my opinion. You’ve already made our choice of apartments and it’s a done deal. The location sounds wonderful and it seems you found a needle in a hay stack considering all the parameters you had to work around to find the right place ‘for him.’ But this choice is also good for you, too. It’s safe and close to public transportation. It’s all good.
I assume he’ll come with suitcases of clothes and maybe gifts for your parents and not furniture, decor, bedding, and kitchen stuff. So, decorate the apartment and go to work, make new friends, take an enrichment or adult ed class at night, get a hobby and then participate in something related to the hobby, and wait until he gets his visa.
I wouldn’t send out any save the dates or pay for anything just yet unless the deposit is 100% refundable. Whereas you are both new to the area, you and he will need to decide where to get married. There is a lot of coast along the USA. If it’s on the beach where you presently live, it’s almost like a destination wedding. He’s from overseas and all your friends live someplace other than where your new job is.
Your situation seems more complex than most. Visas are not easy to get now.
You need to know that your marriage will be scruitinized by INS and perhaps you will need to review some of the issues you will face when you do marry. If you haven’t seen the movie Greencard, rent it. It’s cute and will be helpful for you. Once he arrives, take it out and watch it together.
Best of luck.
Post # 7
It’s still a long time off, but we’re certain that we’ll be moving to a new city for both of us, probably Albuquerque. It’s a little scary to think about, but definitely exciting. 🙂
Post # 8
We are both moving to Vancouver! Neither of us are from there, but my career demands me to go, so we are both relocating (him from Atlanta!). Thankfully we both have a ton of family there to help break us in to the big city.
I’m kind of nervous too – it’s so much to adjust to at once! Hopefully some of you that this is happening sooner for let us know how it goes!
Post # 9
The FI and I lived in the same city when we met while in undergrad, the past 3 years we have been LD while I was in law school. I graduated back in December and just found out I passed the bar so we are moving to a new city together. Last summer I interned in Wichita KS and he lived there with me (while taking online classes for his masters) and now we have decided to go back to start our careers there. I move into the adorable duplex I picked out for us in about 2 weeks and he moves after he graduates in mid-June. It is nice that it will be a semi-new place for us to explore together. My family is still about 3 hours drive away and my monster in law is a 3 hour flight away. Now I just have to get an official job after my law license becomes official on April 30.
Post # 10
We did! FI and I were long distance for 1 1/2 years. I was in Minneapolis and he was in Texas, and then Louisiana. We both moved to North Dakota today about a year ago when FI got his PCS orders (he’s in the Air Force) and moved in together! We got engaged last September and things have been peachy since! Moving is certainly anxiety-inducing, but moving to a new place *together* makes it more of an adventure, and a romantical one at that!