Any married bees that DON'T share money?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m just used to the way my accounts work and how all the money automatically comes in and goes out to the right plareally we never really saw a need to merge accounts.  We also make roughly the same amount of money so we just split everything 50/50.  If we need to make some major purchase together we might get joint accounts.

Post # 4
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We each have our own accounts. I had previously lived with a boyfriend, I allowed him access to my checking and savings, and slowly but surely he depleted both to by the time we broke up and I moved home, I was essentially broke. So when I met my husband, I was a bit wary of that happening again, and we have just kept our own accounts.

It works for us becuase I know my husband spends his extra money on video games and computer games, and I’d probably get upset if I saw that coming out of a shared account. But as long as he has his part of the bills paid, what he wants to do with his extra money he can. I do pay the more “important” bills, such as electric and water, while he pays the cable and internet. We each chip in money for groceries, going out, and bigger purchases.

This works for us, but I’d imagine if we ever start a family, that I’d probably feel more comfortable setting up a joint account for children purposes, so that way it doesn’t turn into a “Well, I spent $x-amount on [item] last week, while you only spent $x-amount on [same item] the week before.” But we’ll cross that bridge when/if we come to it.

Post # 5
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Not married yet, but we don’t, and plan to continue not sharing money after we’re married. We keep rough tab on who is paying for what and try to keep it even but would definitely drive each other batty if we actually shared 100%.

Post # 6
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@shesho:  My husband and I keep separate accounts and have no plans to change that. We write each other checks or transfer money to the other as needed. I like managing my own accounts and have no desire to be responsible for a joint account and knowing the minutia of my husband’s spending habits. We pay large household bills together (rent, auto insurance, etc. split according to income) but keep our car loans, credit cards, cell phone bills, etc. separate. We communicate very openly about our finances and usually have a balance-check every other week. It’s worked for us for 6+ years of dating and almost 1 year of marriage (so far). Laughing

Post # 7
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My husband and I have very different views on money and how it should be spent. Keeping seperate accounts keeps us from fighting over each other’s expenditures. We split our rent and the bills. Perhaps when we have children we may explore having a joint account but we’ll probably maintain seperate accounts and just add a certain amount each month to the joint account.

Post # 8
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We I don’t share my money much.  My DH makes significantly more money than I do so my paycheck covers my personal bills (car, insurance, gas, dentist etc.).  Whatever is left of mine I contribute to the household but I am mostly trying to squirrel it away for baby related things.  His money covers everything else.  It works for us.  I don’t complain about the things he buys and he doesn’t say anything about my purchases.

Post # 9
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I thought I was the only one! We pay each other like roomates lol. I mean we don’t split everything. We split bills as if we’re roomates (half and half, including groceries) and other stuff as if we’re dating. (He’ll get dinner, I’ll get the movie…)

It’s funny, I make and save more money and he’s the one who seems hesitant about merging it. I guess when we get married we’ll do a joint checking and savings and keep the basics in there. I’ll probably put him on my accounts but keep them to myself. 

He’s afraid I’m going to control his spending and stop him from buying video games. He’s bought ONE video game since we moved in together a year ago lol. 

Post # 10
Member
1771 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We maintain separate bank accounts. I do freelance transcription and will sometimes go for long stretches of time without work, so my money just goes toward my personal bills like car insurance. He has a regular, well-paying job, so he handles the household bills and expenses. We’re both happy with this system and don’t see a need to change it after we get married, unless I find a well-paying regular job and could contribute more to the household. Then we’d probably get a joint account for the purpose of paying bills.

Post # 11
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I guess we technically do share some money but our system works for us. We have a certain amount of our paychecks direct deposited into a joint account. All of our house bills and mortgage payments are then electronically taken out of that account. We have separate accounts for everything else. We both have some debt and I don’t like the idea of sharing accounts for all the purchases that I make for myself. We know each other’s debts and we talk about it frequently but we don’t know and don’t really care to know the status of each other’s individual checking accounts.

Post # 12
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We don’t have joint accounts. I have one account that was called the “Wedding account” into which we both put money and is considered “ours”. Now that the wedding is over, it’s called the “House account” since that’s our next joint purchase we’re saving for. Our system works for us. We split the bills 50/50..and our left over money is ours to do with as we please. The joint account we both have to agree on what it gets spent on since we’re both putting money into it.

Post # 13
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We have access to each other’s bank accounts.  We have separate debt that we are working to pay off, and it’s easier to handle right now if we keep our money apart.  Once that’s paid off, though, we’re going to combine the money.

Post # 14
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Not married, but live with SO. We have three checking accounts… His, mine and ours. Ours covers house payment, all household bills, and groceries. If we have extra in the account we agree on what to spend it on (date night, decor, or vacation).  What’s in mine is free for whatever I want, including if I want a $500/ month car payment or spend $500 on clothes.

 

i imagine wedding money will also go into the joint account, along with any kids that come along. I agree that I don’t want to have to agonize over every purchase decision he makes for himself, and since I make more than him I think I would tend to try and keep track of that sTuff. we both really enjoy our system and we have never once fought about money. 

Post # 15
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m not married yet, but my fiance and I have our own accounts and a joint account.  Every month we put money into the joint account for bills and things for the house, other than that we have our own accounts and own money.  In my opinion, this keeps one from being upset if the other makes splurge purchases and there’s no worry about someone saying “You spend so much more than me.  You’re buying unneccessary things with OUR money.”  I just feel like it saves a huge headache and probably lots of arguements.  With that said, if one of us needs money the other always gives it with no question.

Post # 16
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We don’t have a joint account, but DH makes more than I do, so he calls it “our money”.  We live in the house DH had before we were together, so he basically takes care of the bills there, and I take care of my bills that I brought into the relationship with my money.  Things like food, dates etc. we use cash for 90% of the time so any cash is basically ours to share (since he has more of it than I do, it’s mostly him sharing with me).  It’s not equal (this town doesn’t have a huge money earning market for my career choice- a choice I made before moving here), but it works for us.  Also, big purchases even though they are made with “his” money it’s always a joint decision.  He also likes to lend money to friends when they need it, but always asks my opinion on it if it’s a larger $ amount, which is sweet of him.  He always insists it’s our money, we just have separate accounts. 🙂

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