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I'm obsessing over two stupid details... One is that our programs were put in the wrong place and nobody had them. We put a lot of effort into those :(
The other was that we didn't turn on our LED throwies before the ceremony, so friends had to turn them on during the reception. This is the one thing a DOC could have helped with...
So neither of these things are so bad, but when I think about them, I literally cringe. Hopefully, this feeling will fade in time!
Mine has to do with the ceremony music too. Only I DID tell the DJ what song I wanted and made sure he knew it because it was imporant to me because Id wanted to walk down the aisle to it for so long. I was supposed to walk to "Storybook Love", the Princess Bride theme song and instead he downloaded it off itunes, where it has another song before it and played that one instead. It was very pretty but I wish it was the song I wanted. Now its bittersweet when I hear the song I actually walked down to because its pretty and it brings back great memories but makes me sad I didnt get to walk to the song I wanted to.
My music wasnt what I wanted either (the ipod never made it to the proper people so CDs were just played) but it didn't bother me so much. I had proper music for the ceremony and its not like we had dancing or anything specific that we wanted played.
What I REALLY wish we had done differently was getting a sound system so people could hear us during the ceremony better (outdoors with zooming motorcycles a couple of times...) and i should have wrote out a checklist for the day of because things got all scrambled. The kids never even got all the toys and goodies we bought for them! That bothers me because it was a waste of our money then, and the kids were probably bored!
I am slowly forgetting the negatives and focusing on the positives. Although, I wouldn't have stressed so much about the time line and just relaxed and enjoyed myself a bit more.
I think the two things that still bother me a little are the cake and the toasts.
Our baker (a friend of my mom's from HS) put this huge pink Gerbera daisy as a cake topper, when I specifically gave her the white flowers that matched the cake to put on top. It looks totally weird in the photos and the color drives me crazy. Pink was not one of our colors!
During the blessing, my BIL (who is sweet, but has very different religious views than we do) basically gave a sermon in which he said a lot of religious stuff I don't agree with. He kept reiterating that marriage is between a man and a woman, which we SPECIFICALLY kept out of our ceremony because we disagree. Our officiant (also a coworker/friend) was there with her partner and I felt terrible that this happened. I spent the whole toast with a fake smile plastered on my face because I was so upset/uncomfortable. If I had it to do over again, I would have put my foot down and told my husband that there was no way his brother was speaking at the wedding.
Our minister had the most negative homily at our wedding! It talked about the holocaust, mental illness, and infidelity! I couldn't believe it. But, it's sort of become a big joke, and everyone laughs about it. Weddings, like life, aren't perfect, but I think the important thing is to keep laughing and keep positive. I loved my wedding otherwise! :)
MY PHOTOGRAPHER! UGH UGH UGH. Don't even get me started, but you can read all about it here
And made my parents not make me late to my own wedding. That'll be a tough one to let go as I'm pretty stuck on the fact that WE paid for the wedding, THEY were our guests and they were terribly inconsiderate about that =(
The music is actually a big one for me as well. Our friend stepped in at the last minute to change the songs between the bridesmaids and me. And he didn't know what to do so their song just kept playing and playing and everyone was watching us waiting. My Husband was at the front tryign to signal him what to do. In the video I have this really panicked look on my face, and instead of having this blissful wait at the end of the aisle, I was all flipped out. Blah!
Definitely the music. We really wanted a certain song to walk down the aisle to after the ceremony and felt completely bullied to change it. So we did, a song both of us love, but felt a little upset that we didn't just stick to our original song. Also, there were several songs that we asked for, even gave the DJs on cds, that never got played. And this is as in they would start to play it, hear what it was, and then change to another song. We still don't know why this happened.
This didn't bother me at the wedding b/c I didn't notice it, but I just watched our wedding video and realized that our photographer was EVERYWHERE! Her pictures turned out amazing, but there are a few parts during the day where she was a little too close (when i walked down the aisle, father/daughter dance, etc.) Like I said, she took great pictures; I just wish she weren't everywhere in our wedding video. (My cousin filmed the video for free, so I think she may have been a little more respectful of his filming if he were a pro too.)
Aside from that, the Cubs cake topper on the groom's cake looked bad, and I still wish I would have just made one myself instead of paying our baker to make one. Then there were also about a dozen DIY projects I didn't have time to get to, but I'm slowly getting over those. :-)
So many things went wrong but I had an awesome day...
Gosh, where do I even begin.... here are some of the bigger ones:
1. Hotel spelled "Wedding" as "Weading" for the signs
2. DJ had music issue, we almost had to have our first dance to Pretty Women or something not suitable. Thank goodness we had a backup copy of our first dance song (Can't help falling in love with you) so DJ could use it.
3. Minister used the vows he wrote instead of the ones we wrote.
4. My father & husband's aunt and uncle got lost after the welcome dinner (aka night before the wedding). We spent a few hours looking for them. Thank goodness they were safe.
yeah... but it was a great day and nothing could get to me at all :) I was in such a happy mode that I found all of this super funny.
My wedding was only this past Saturday so I haven't come up with them all but here are the things I noticed...
1. The main cake (3 tier) was never served. Apparently, the baker provided an extra round cake for the wedding and that was served instead. If I knew I was receiving that, I would never have had a dessert table or the extra sheet cake. My parents have desperately been trying to feed anyone and everyone the cake so it doesn't go to waste.
2. I somehow forgot to buy 16 votives for a set of 4 centerpieces that I had. So 4 tables had 0 votives, just the main candle. Noone cared but I noticed.
3. I wish the ceremony was practiced a bit more. My G'ma (the officiant) was stumbling with the words as if she has never married anyone. Not so much her fault as we tried to rush through it all.
I think that is it. For now.
This is a good post... Before the wedding, I thought that I would be happy with everything since I had put so much work into it. It took me a while to realize that there are a few things that went wrong that I can completely let go of, and there are a few things that went wrong that still bother me a bit.
Something that went wrong but that I've gotten over is our DJ- I just didn't love him. He talked wayyyyyy too much. And when I tried to subtly tell him to stop talking and just get to the music, he put the mike up to his mouth and said WHAT??? really loudly and looked at me. Um, nevermind. I've pretty much gotten over that & it helped to hear so many friends and family mention to us that they liked the music and that the DJ kept them dancing all night. My hubby still gets annoyed when he watches the wedding video and fast forwards through everything.
Something that went wrong that I HAVEN'T gotten over is the pictures-- my photographer requested a list of pictures that we wanted. Being organized, I sent her a three-tabbed excel spreadsheet with the pictures we wanted. The first tab was pre-ceremony. The second tab was post-ceremony family portraits. And the third was photos we wanted taken at the reception. I CAREFULLY EXPLAINED in my email that there were three tabs and asked them to make sure to print all three. But, of course, they showed up with the first page. After we took all of the "getting ready" and pre-ceremony shots, she said "Looks like we already got all of the shots on your list." And I told her that that was only the first page and that there were three tabs.
Instead of trying to find a computer and printer (we were at a resort, and the wedding coordinator could have done this for her), she just chose to ignore me. And I was so busy from that point on that I didn't have time to figure it all out. I tried to remember most of the shots I wanted, but I was too busy to stay on top of the photogs. So I have A LOT of pictures that I didn't get, like me with my cousins, my entire side of the family, and my husband's entire side of the family.
It makes me sad because there's no way to go back and "fix" that...
peeptoe- isn't it funny how the bad things sort of fade out & we're left with the happy memories!! I am thankful for that, because all in all, my wedding day was great! Years from now, we won't remember the annoying little mishaps at all! :)
Jessie516 Awww, I'm sorry that happened. But don't worry too much about it... I am SURE your officiant knows that YOU AND YOUR HUBBY don't feel that way. Because after all, if you felt that marriage was only between a man and a woman, you probably wouldn't have asked a gay officiant to be a part of your wedding.
Superstitions- I'm sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel any better, one of my "DO NOT PLAY" songs got played. It was "Baby Got Back." I just didn't want that song played at my wedding, but the DJ played it anyway. But, thankfully, it is clear on the wedding video that I didn't mind too much, because I am on the dance floor dancing my booty off to it. I also think that my husband pretend-slapped my butt during that song, which was also caught on video *covers eyes in embarassment!*
One thing that still bothers me is that my husband and I didn't get any time alone right after the ceremony. I had it all planned out for us to go back into the bridal room right after we exited the sanctuary. I wrote it on all our schedules, including the ones given to immediate family, the church, the officiant, etc... I even asked the officiant before the wedding to not lock the door so we could have some time together right after the wedding. Someone locked it anyway. :( I'm still a little upset about that because I was really looking forward to just being alone with my husband.
1. That fact that my DJ only played about half of our MUST PLAY songs, and acted obnoxiously and too controlling
2. That my husband and I lost eachother for almost an hour during the reception and not only did I have to search for him for our frist dance (the boys were doing shots), we didn't get to visit everyone at our reception.
3. That we didn't do family pictures in the church because i thought it was ugly. The pictures outside during the windy rainstorm were much worse.
4. The fact that the venue and dance floor were far too small for our 150 person weding (when i was told over and over again that it could seat a max of 200.)
5. That our guests were allowed in the reception hall before we were and I never got to see the whole place decorated and empty.
6. That I didn't just take over the stationery projects (programs and maps) and do them myself. They turned out way too small and i didn't feel like i could make my cousin redo them last minute.
Ok, that's more than I thought--but the wedding is still somewhat fresh in my mind!
We arranged for our photographer to meet us the morning after the wedding to do a "day after" shoot at a nearby waterfall and when I got back into my dress I never remembered to let the train back down. For some reason I was nervous and stiff during these photos and in all the shots my train is still bustled. I have no idea why I was nervous since I'd been "the picture of calm" for our wedding the day before. It would have looked so much cooler, especially when in the waterfall if it had been down and I'd been a bit more relaxed so I could have had a bit more fun with it. It annoys me each time I look at the photos.
Then I remind myself that my single regret is from the day after our wedding...and not from our actual wedding or reception and I realize I'm pretty dang lucky :)
i am SO glad that you posted this!! i got married a week and a half ago and i can't stop thinking about some things that went wrong. my wedding was amazing and had everything i wanted, and i feel ungrateful for thinking about the negatives. i'm SO glad that i'm not the only one! i love weddingbee!
here are my regrets-
1. that i couldn't sleep for 3 nights before the wedding and felt a little out of it (like i was drugged) the whole day
2. that we didn't see the reception before everyone went in
3. biggest disappointment - my bridesmaids. i wish i had only had my 2 sisters. my other 3 bridesmaids (friends) were late to everything, complained about things, etc. it really hurt me and i feel like my friendship with one of them is permanently damaged (she gets really upset at weddings because she desperately wants to be married, and she just wasn't very nice the day of my wedding). actually, i should do a post about this. anyone else have a similar problem? it feels good just to write that!
4. that i didn't spend more time with my mom. i was so busy running around talking to everyone that i wish i had just sat with her one on one some more.
I had a blast at our wedding! No wedding is perfect and I expected that mine wouldn't be the exception so I was ready for any minor hiccups to roll off my shoulders...and they did! I don't think you could have upset me if you tried that day.
Hiccups:
1. It rained. Bummer! I wanted most of my photographs to be taken at a lovely park I scouted out. I hear it is good luck though! It is harder to untie a wet knot! :o)
2. The organist never switched to the "The Wedding March" after my bridal party entered the ceremony. I kept my guests and groom waiting at least a minute and a half hoping he would get the picture and switch over! I ended up walking out to the bridal party music until half-way down the aisle when he started playing "The Wedding March." Apparently, there was a miscommunication between the priest, organist, and myself. The priest told me to wait until I heard my music to walk out but he told the organist I would appear at the door and pause and he should then start the music. I didn't mind but I think some of my guests thought I was a runaway bride!
3. My priest called my husband "Jason" during our vows. His name is James! I, along with everyone else, thought it was hilarious though! He'll never live it down.
4. I was really stoked for all the entrances into the reception because I picked some really great tunes. The parents went, everything was perfect...bridal party went, everything perfect...our turn. Our entrance song started and then somehow flipped to our first dance song! They quickly flipped it back before we walked out but it ruined the mood because we had a whole rock entrance theme going. Boo.
5. I loooove my dress. I got it fitted perfectly to my body...like a glove. Unfortunately, there was no room for food or alcohol in there! I couldn't eat a thing! I would recommend leaving a little room for your dinner and cake!
Great to know I am not alone in feeling like some things could have gone differently! There are a few things that I wish would have been different too:
1. I wish we would have had a more organized greeting line after our wedding. We had a private ceremony (mostly family, a few friends), and everyone just stood up and walked by us, but we were greeting people at different times and so I feel like I may have missed some (I did see them later, but something more organized would have been nice)
2. I struggle with thinking I didn't talk to people enough at the reception! I know a lot of brides feel that way, but the time goes fast, and it was hard! I talked to everyone (at least I hope so!), but I wish I would have had more time:)
3. Other than that, I wish I would have told more people to take pictures on their own cameras to send to me later.
It's great to read all of these (many of which help put any omissions from my wedding day in context). My minor hiccup is only minor because the major hiccup (does that make it a burb?!?) didn't happen. The minor hiccup was that the nun who did the rehearsal told my husband that, no matter what, he should go out and stand on the stage 5 minutes before the official start time. The ceremony musicians who were in the balcony must use this as the signal that everyone is ready to start the wedding and they played the last prelude song, the 1st processional song (seating of mothers), the 2nd processional song (bridesmaids) and many, many iterations of Trumpet Voluntary. Too bad the bridal party was running late. We actually had a pipe organ and trumpeter so it sounded really great - but imagine my surprise hearing my big trumpet entrance song playing before I even stepped a foot out of the car. Everyone (moms, bridesmaids, flower girl and bride) rushed down the aisle to the same song.
For context, my sister had to have emergency surgery with general anesthesia 4 hours before the wedding (this would have been the big hiccup). Seeing her change from hospital scrubs to her bridesmaid dress in the church foyer completely overshadowed the issues with the music. Coming so close to having a major hiccup helps put the little ones (even the ones that I'm still finding out about) in context.
Hmmm... this really puts everything into perspective!!!!!!! I am getting married in a month!!!!! Ahhh.
UGH. It has been 5 weeks and not a day has gone by when I don't think about a few things that went wrong :( I wonder when this feeling will let up.
The major issue was my bouquet and my BMs bouquets. They were not what I had asked for at all. I paid for garden and peony roses... different shades of pink and lavender for my bouquet and the BMs were to have the same but smaller with some peach and cream. I ended up with a bouquet of only about 3 garden roses and the rest normal roses... and they were white, YELLOW, ORANGE, deep purple, and only 1 pink. My BMs had orchids, red roses, some purple flower I didn't know and 1 pink garden rose!
Next issue... again with the florist, we had him to make an arrangement for above our arbor at our ceremony- all to be garden roses again (actually turned out the way I wanted it too), it was supposed to be repurposed on our head table. Instead he put it on the gift table! Our head table looked sooo bare! It looked like I totally forgot that I had to decorate it.
Other issues are things that I could've controlled but didn't. I had family members and friends helping me decorate our venue after our RD. Some people had started before I got there- what they started wasn't exactly how I pictured it. I was too flustered at the time to say anything and didn't want to seem like a bridezilla to ask them to re-do it so I let it go. I totally regret it now.
Also, the DJ never played our song for the grand entrance. I didn't know it until the couple that walked in before our MOH/Best Man said "no music is playing!" Our party was apparently confused and instead of doing what we planned everyone just went to their seats... so we didn't even have a grand entrance.
I could go on... and on... but I will stop :)
I looove to hear all of these. I actually am really intrigued by this topic ... so dish and I will read!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)
Our wedding went fantastically well, but there were a few things that still bother me when I think about them. The things I regret the most:
1) Not getting pictures with people who mean alot to me with our Photog. My brother in law is not in ANY of the formal shots because he was at the reception making sure everything was ready for us to arrice. This makes me sad, because I will never have the chance to get him in those shots again! I don't have any shots with just me and my MOH!
2) I wish we would have ordered one more tray of each of our entrees for the buffet. We didn't run short, exactly, but towards the end people weren't able to take as much as they may have wanted.
3) I wish we had practiced our first dance. We kept trying to find time for this, but there were always other things to do. Our friends kept saying that we didn't need to, but sure enough, when we got out there we were nervous and looked at our feet alot. Practice your first dance!!
This is a great post, after my wedding i went crazy with everything that went wrong. It was driving me insane when all I wanted to do was relax on my honeymoon.
Somethings just drove me crazy like the music being messed up as the parents walked down the aisle causing them to replay a song after a long awkward pause, my doc changing the way the groom walked with his parents so the dad walked behind the groom and his mom, he looked like a third wheel and when I talked to my doc later about it she said all grooms walk like that at her weddings, yeah I for one have never seen that ever. I definitely would have hired a different doc, she turned out to be a major biotch, believe me there was more to the story but I am not going to go into detail. The dj's assistant was rude to the groom, and when we complained the assistant said he was joking around with a friend at the wedding, really dj assistant? How many friends do you know at my wedding?..zero.
Some things did not bother me at all like planes flying through my ceremony, babies crying during the ceremony, I had one baby at my wedding and he cried really loud! Those things did not bother me. I have pretty much gotten over the negative things since it has been almost 5 months but little things drove me nuts for quite a while. I hope one day I will forget about the negative. It just totally sucks that those thoughts come up when I reflect on my wedding day, it has helped to focus on the positive though because the guests had a great time and have fond memories of our wedding. They had no idea about the things that did not turn out how they were originally supposed to.
VIC this is how I've seen it ... the mother is escorted and the fathers walks behind ... but I don't get it? Maybe I should make a new post. Ok I'm going to ask this =)
This indeed is a fantastic post! I thought I was nuts (and I know I am driving my new husband nuts) for keep playing the few hicupps in my mind over and over again and wishing I had done something about it before or during!
- The day before the wedding. I had the dress vendor drop off the gown. She couldn't find the address and just parked the car near by for an hour! In the mean time, i was at a place that I could not get any reception on the cell phone. So as she kept calling me leaving angrier and angrier messages, I had no clue! Finally when I got cell receptions and checked the messages, I freaked out completely! I was sooooo flustered and was sooo about to cry! We finally had to go to the store to pick up the dress (even though the store is not open that day). She didn't yell at me when she saw me, but I know she was pissed and I was just so freaked out. It made me sad as I had an otherwise good experience with them and I am sure they absolutely hate me after that. Now I am afraid to even go back and ask them how much the dress preservation will cost...
- The day of the wedding went really well for everything. The only thing is I wish we took more photos with our family before the wedding.... and probably during the reception. But we have many beautiful photos otherwise ... so I will try to get over that eventually.
Right after we got back from our honeymoon, while I was totally and completely happy the wedding was O-V-E-R, I was dwelling on some things that weren't picture perfect:
1. My hair/bangs. I KNEW I should have gotten a bang trim before the wedding, but last-minute, I decided they were okay. Nope. They looked really long and thick in pictures, and I wanted them to look light and airy. Oh well. And my hair wasn't exactly what I wanted, either. But that was my own fault because I had trouble deciding.
2. My bouquet was all wrong (like, opposite colors) and the BM bouquets weren't even the flowers I asked for. Good thing flowers weren't a priority for me!
3. My dress. I went the super cheap route with a simple BM dress that came in white (lea-length). I truly love it, but I so sometimes wonder if I should have gone with something more bridal since I'll truly never get to wear anything like that ever again. I just got fed up with the dress search and decided to go the simple route.
Our wedding was two months ago next week, and I'm just now starting to let all these things go. I think right after the wedding, the immediate shock of, "All that work for one day!?" hits you, and while you know not everything will be perfect, deep down you want it to be. For me, it was because we spent so much money on everything, I felt like it should have been exactly what I wanted.
But once I saw the first picture from one of our guests on Facebook where I didn't look weird (eyes closed, weird stance, etc.) I knew none of that stuff was important. I saw how happy I was, and I DID look good that day, if I do say so myself :) Yep, I'm letting go.
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Hi Hive! Sure, my wedding was over a year ago, and I remember it fondly. I do still sometimes wish that the ceremony music didn't go wrong... the music we wanted didn't get played (my fault entirely! I didn't get it to the DJ in time, so he missed my email) and instead an awful 20 second loop was played. We were supposed to have an instrumental version of Paul McCartney's "Maybe I'm amazed" play... and I listen to it on my iTunes and wish it reminded me of our wedding day but it doesn't, of course :)
That's literally the only thing I sometimes still dwell on. I remember the rest of my wedding fondly :)
Is there a little nagging thing that went wrong at your wedding that you still think about often?