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My husband came home last night and said his mother told him, someone contacted her and said that My Belly seems to have a little pudge and ask her was I pregnant?
Um, NO I am just gaining weight and I have noticed it too since the wedding - hence my starting to walk now.
They didn't ask me, and we still don't know who it is. Also I was feeling horrible yesterday - SINUSES and mother in laws 1st question was Is She Pregnant ... lol and told my husband if I am its his fault.... hilarious!!! (I love her)
People seem to be sitting around waiting on us to get pregnant, is this happening to any other Newlywed's??? Family just sitting around waiting...
Yep, I have made it perfectly clear that we are not trying anytime soon but it hasn't stopped anyone. The holidays were the worst. MIL was whining to my DH that she wouldn't live to see her grandchildren get married.
ETA: Didn't really answer the question. I feel no pressure to get pregnant just because my ovaries all of a sudden seem like an appopriate talking point to people. We are the only people who will be deciding if/when to have kids.
I'm not feeling pressured, per se, but we do have a lot of people ask about it. My MIL really DOESNT want us to have kids yet, cause she thinks we are too young or something, but other members of her family DO want us to have kids. It's confusing to keep up with everyone's opinions when they ask - especially because last Xmas I was ill and missed the family get-together, sparking speculation on my status. It's like now there's nothing left for them to do but wait for us to have kids, which is kind of crazy to me because we're going through so many other changes - potential grad school, which means potential HUGE move, etc - why are they concentrating only on offspring?
My own family is very clear that it won't be happening for a long time and they're ok with it, so that's kind of a relief.
Yes, it happened to us, too. Family and friends were on pregnancy watch because we were "the next in line" to get pregnant. MIL has been very good about it, though. My friends let it go after some of them accidently got pregnant and there are now enough baby showers, etc, so we don't have to "fill the void" anymore.
We had one person (mother of a friend) unsolicited lecturing us that we should get on it and not waste any more time, because we're getting too old and having only one child is unacceptable. I thought that was really uncalled for and rude.
No pressure really, just a lot of questions. Everyone assumes that directly after marriage comes baby but neither of us are anywhere close to ready for that yet. My BIL & SIL just had a baby 6 months ago so as far as DHs side is concerned, they're good for a while. I'm an only child and my mom is well aware that babies are not in the cards for us right now and she's totally supportive of that.
I think people usually just ask to make small talk and it isn't really meant to "presure" couples. After we got married people asked, but once you say not for a while people usually drop it.
I know right, because when people ask us, I just smile and shake my head. They Love asking though..when are y'all getting pregnant.... or when either you or the other daughter in law get preggo I got loads of clothes for y'all, when you gone have a baby..... so, I decided to tell one person... when I am sure you can babysit. Haha shut her up quick.
I don't feel pressured either, our love life is ours, and we will get preggos when God allows. Now out of our bedroom.
I'm not being pressured about it at all, BUT I think I would be if my SIL on DH's side wasn't super vocal about wanting kids soon, and my mother is not pressuring me because she knows our life is really not set up for that right now (just bought a flat that would be too small, haven't found a job yet, etc)
Though, my mom was pressuring my brother's girlfriend about marriage and kids the last couple years of their relationship, to the point of getting overly attached to their dog, her granddog. This is continuing even after they have broken up.
Which is all a relief for us, because we're nowhere near even knowing if we even want kids.
I have been asked about it a few times but only by people that don't know us very well. We both have raised our kids and I just tell them that I am 40 and this baby factory is closed for business.
Oh yeah. Holidays were fun.....Everyone asking when/where/what position the baby will be conceived in....ok, maybe not the last one.
At least my BIL & SIL just had their first baby, which I thought would take the pressure off. But at her shower, a random relative of hers (who I had never met and don't know who she is) told me I needed to 'eat more' so 'you can be the next one!'.........um, what? I'm not even close to being too skinny, so I just stared and walked away.
And who is this biotch asking if you're pregnant because you 'have a pudge'? How rude!
@MrsMeNow: then tell my in-laws to drop it! we've made it clear that it's not for several years but they still seem to think if they mention it enough, that we'll magically change our minds and get pregnant just like that.
MIL has even commented that 'you don't need to wait as long as BIL/SIL did'....apparently waiting 6 years was not ok....if that's not pressure, I don't know what is!
My sex life was not up for discussion before marriage, and it will stay that way after marriage!
I actually like getting asked about when we're getting pregnant. We're not trying any time soon though. My MIL specifically stared at my stomach last time I was there though. It was pretty obvious I thought that she was seeing if I was pregnant.
Definitely! My MIL desperately wants me to be pregnant, and my grandfather likes to ask whenever I see him. Last time I saw him, he said that I was looking a little thick around the middle, wink wink nudge nudge. I told him no, I was just getting fat, but I'd keep him updated on my uterus when the time came. Gotta love when the elderly lose the filter, LOL! I reacted a bit offhand which I feel a bit bad about, but my grandfather also has a habit of bugging women about their weight even after being told a million times that it's a good way to end up getting in trouble, LOL!
Haha good you only have one side after you... mine isn't waiting around for it, but its hinted around sometimes
you: We had one person (mother of a friend) unsolicited lecturing us that we should get on it and not waste any more time, because we're getting too old and having only one child is unacceptable.
me: I would have been a little warm with her about that... none of her business.
Aw, I would tell them I am still loving on the new family addition he/she will do for a while.
People mention it to us quite often. Sometimes we just smile and nod, and sometimes we make the comment that we'd like to wait a year.
You have totally different people in my corner... We just let it go and laugh about it when we get home.
@MuchGreater: None of her business, I agree. But she was the waitress at the place we were currently eating at, and you don't PO the people who serve your food, lol! I ordered a couple of alcoholic drinks instead.
@hisgoosiegirl: Oh my goodness I will set them straght for you. I would definately have DH seriously tell them to drop it and you will let them know when you have news to share. I am pretty private so I have really set boundries about certain parts of our life (kids, parenting,money) that is really off limits unless we ask for an opinion and it took a really long time for DH's family to get that-his grandparents still over step boundries, but not on such important things.
Holidays are fun, but I wouldn't want to be the center of attention in that way. And as far as the person who asked we still have no idea... I told him I should wear a pillow under my shirt for church on sunday to really give em something to look at.
Right, my sex life is not up for discussion. When, how, and where the baby will one day be conceived is personally between my husband and I. Let us tell you when we are pregnant.... haha
(never knew how much people are into other folks and their private lives... it teaches me to watch what I ask others and stay outta folks business)
haha my mother in law stares at me all the time. My husband says she is looking to see if my hips have spreaded or if I look pregnant
We've gotten a few questions, but mostly from people who are just oblivious and dumb and don't care either way, and we know it. I definitely haven't felt any sort of pressure, especially not from any real friends/family.
That being said, we've only been married three weeks. I'm sure we'll hear the questions soon enough.
My husband's family has been asking like crazy. We've only been married for six months! We're easily five years away from even considering kids, so I have a feeling it's not going to stop anytime soon.
Luckily, we haven't received any pressure from our families. I have only been asked by 1 person, a friend, and I wasn't annoyed by it either. I guess if DH and I were getting tons of pressure from our families, then I probably would be annoyed. So far, things have been low key
OH YEAH, GIVE IT ANOTHER WEEK... THEN SOMEONE WILL SAY YOU BEEN MARRIED A MONTH NOW ---- YOU COULD BE PREGNANT...LOL (BEEN THERE GIRL)
I'm not even married yet and I have the pressure already to bring in the first grandchild on FI's side of the family, it's crazy.
CONGRATS FOR THE LOW KEYNESS.....CAUSE GIRLIE IT COULD GET TOUGH. I had a girl from class ask if I was pregnant.. I said no and she was like.... um, I have a gift of knowing before other people know so trust me you are pregnant... Well, many periods later I can attest to the fact that I was not and still am not pregnant...she was wrong!
Not married yet, and I'm being asked how soon after getting married will we start trying to have a baby!
Wen I told our families we want at least a year of wedded bliss before thinking about kids, the look of abject horror on everyone's face was priceless.
It's like they expect me to become a baby factory as soon as the ring is on my finger.
Yes, but mostly by my own biological clock! :) There is zero pressure from my family because borg of my brothers already have kids. But, DH is the first kid and first grandkid on either side of he family to be married, so we get more teasing comments from them. His parents are excited to be grandparents, but they also had kids right away, so they always encourage us to wait a year or so to enjoy each other.
Yup. I gained five pounds (pretty much all around my middle) over the Christmas season from indulging in all the sweet goodies available during the holidays, and when DH and I went over to my parents' house for Christmas dinner, I was driving, so I didn't drink any wine with dinner.
Well the next day my mother calls, just to chat, she claims, but eventually she blurts out, "You'll tell me when you get pregnant, right? I don't want to be the last one to know."
*pause as I realize she probably thought my weight gain and lack of drinking was because I was knocked up*
"Uh, sure Mom, but that won't be for a long while. We don't plan on having kids for quite some time."
"Oh...I was hoping you might start trying soon."
"We live in a tiny one bedroom apartment that's barely big enough for just us two, and we wouldn't be able to buy a house right now unless we won the lottery or moved to a less expensive city. Where the heck would we put a kid?"
"Oh."
Yeah, that's right, even though my parents had 11 years to run all over the world travelling and enjoying married life without kids before I came along, apparently I'm supposed to be popping out children less than a year after our "I Do"s, just because my mother wants cute little grandkids to play with. Yeah, that's fair.
Not yet...but it wouldn't bother me. Sometimes I tease DH about it, and he's like "not funny."
I'm sure no one around us expects it for at least a year or so, or maybe people do ask us and I just don't notice or experience it as "pressure," because we're just like, 'oh, maybe in a year or so."
@AprilJo2011: haha you are so right... if she had to have any dealings with your food I would keep it cool and collect too...people are coo coo these days
@MrsMeNow: I am pretty private too--- trying to get hubby to get that though... somethings I just don't care to share...
@Otaqueen: baby factory????!!! Order up!
you: the look of abject horror on everyone's face was priceless.
me: I bet it was. Wish I could have seen it.
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