(Closed) Any ‘offbeat’ brides out there?

posted 7 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
347 posts
Helper bee

I was married 9 years ago but I guess I would consider our wedding nontraditional. We didn’t have a lot of money and neither did my family.  We had our wedding at a Library/Museum on the water but did the food ourselves, didn’t have dancing (even though I used to dance for years) b/c of money and b/c hubby and I don’t like tons of attention – we are not shy, just don’t like all eyes on us), had our favorite guitar (flamenco…really pretty….not totally traditional) music playing, didn’t have a rehearsal dinner – had our wedding on a friday, only had 60 people, my dress was a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress in white for $150, had one attendant each and paid for their outfit which was pretty cheap – $50 summer dress), and had my MOH’s daughter as our “flower fairy”.  I used to really love fairies.  We also had a nautical theme, only b/c my hubby loves boats and I thought it would get him more into the planning. I was wrong.  Oh, and had a cake (sheet) with a little bride and groom on a boat, that my friend paid for.  Probably $40.  Looking back, I would do things a lot differently, although I’ve had people tell us that they really loved our wedding b/c it was causual and comfortable, and I don’t think they are lying. 🙂  Didn’t have any flowers either, except my bouquet and the MOH’s b/c I thought it was a waste of money at the time.  Again, if I could do it over and I had more money, I would have done things differently…more elegantly, at least more than what we had!  🙂

Best of luck to you!

Post # 4
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are having ours at the church but I am walking down the aisle to the imperial march and we are walking back down the aisle to Red Sweater by the Aquabats. we are also having a potluck dinner and we are using the iPod for our music. Our wedding will be all DIY (with the help of my awesome family)

Post # 5
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

We’re having a victorian/steampunk wedding with a Sigur Ros processional and a Gino Washington recessional. No super-new ideas, other than a hot-air baloon (which probably won’t happen because of too many treees)

Post # 6
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t say that our wedding was nontraditional so much as that we didn’t let the traditions limit us:

  • We had rather more than the usual number of brides (2), and fewer than the usual number of grooms (0).
  • We didn’t have engagement rings.
  • We didn’t have a wedding planner, not even a DOC.
  • We didn’t have save the dates.
  • Our RSVPs were all online.
  • We declined having a shower.
  • We had two joint bachelorette parties. One was at Dave & Buster’s (restaurant with arcade games). The other was at a traditional Korean bathhouse.
  • We saw each other’s dresses before the ceremony. Actually, we shopped for them together, so we could get ones that would coordinate.
  • We rented a big Victorian house so all our guests could stay there, and we could see each other outside of the ceremony/reception.
  • The “rehearsal dinner” (there was no actual rehearsal) was pizzas we had delivered to the house.
  • We stayed together the night before the wedding, and got ready together at the synagogue.
  • Our chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy) was a DIY one, made on the frame of a portable popup gazebo.
  • Our ceremony music was from a CD we made.
  • Our wedding rings were plain gold bands.
  • The bouquets we carried were arm/presentation/flat bouquets, not “normal” wedding bouquets.
  • One of our two attendants was male. He declined to be a best man on the theory that the best man is a groom’s attendant, and we lacked a groom. He was therefore the dude of honor.
  • There were no child attendants.
  • Our maid of honor and dude of honor wore clothes they already owned.
  • There were no floral decorations for our ceremony or reception, just the personal flowers.
  • My wife and I walked down the aisle together.
  • We added the declarations and vows from the Church of England ceremony to our Jewish ceremony.
  • Instead of having just the normal two witnesses to our ketubah (Jewish wedding contract), we had everyone in attendance sign as witnesses.
  • My ex-husband gave the blessing over bread immediately following the ceremony.
  • Although we had two bouquets and two garters, none of them got tossed.
  • At-home reception was in a private club that was a converted warehouse, rather than a traditional reception location. We decorated it ourselves with DIY uplighting, 127 paper lanterns in various sizes and with various lighting methods, etc.
  • Our first dance was a swing dance.
  • Our reception musician was an acoustic guitarist, not a DJ or band.
  • We hired a couple of friends to buy food from BJ’s, prepare it, serve it, and clean up, instead of having a traditional caterer.
  • Our wedding cake was a cascading cake instead of a tiered one.
  • Our cake topper (actually on the bottom layer of our cake) was a traditional Welsh love spoon.
  • The top layer of our cake (the one saved for our anniversary) was the traditional British fruit cake with marzipan and royal icing–which is decidedly nontraditional in the US.

Post # 7
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I belong to the offebeatbride.com tribe! Same username as here. 

  • Wearing a short dress in a coffee/latte color. (Think a little darker than champagne) 
  • Groom and groomsmen (well, he’s still trying to decide.) 
  • We are writing our ceremony from scratch. 
  • We are toying with the idea of a tattoo ceremony instead of a unity candle. (of course, we would probably just do it before the wedding and then show them off at a certain part of the ceremony.) 
  • We are playing Guitar Hero during the reception. 
  • We are having cupcakes. 
  • We aren’t doing brides side/grooms side seating. 
  • We are doing celtic wishing stones instead of a guestbook. 

Post # 8
5758 posts
Bee Keeper

So really what makes all these weddings offbeat? To me that would mean they would be pretty ‘out there’  and not by what wasn’t or isn’t being done in the traditional sense. Many people eliminate certain aspects, so that would mean they are all offbeat?

The only one I know about and saw pictures of was a girl I used to work with who had a Renaissance wedding (in costume), and guests had to eat everything with their hands (no utensils). Guests also wore costumes. This was 25 years ago and the first time I ever saw someone go so overboard in the other direction.


Post # 10
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ItWasntMe: Offbeat can be whatever you want it to be. A bride can have a traditional ceremony/reception but wear a purple dress and be offbeat. Having a DIY wedding is considered offbeat because you aren’t using the wedding industry to create your wedding. Offbeat can be singing your vows to each other or going big and having a rock opera for the whole thing. Offbeat can mean having a first look or having your guest be the photographer. It can mean having a backyard BBQ with horseshoes and volleyball instead of a DJ. 

To me, offbeat is anything that isn’t “white American wedding.” traditional. You know, white dress, church, scripted vows, hotel reception, ect. 

Having a wedding/reception is always going to be traditional, but if you focus on creating an event that is you instead of what the magazines and other sources tell you what a wedding should be, then I consider it offbeat. 

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