No newer images
more by cardigan sweater
Advice Please
Monday Morning Wedding Vents
more in Emotional
Vent: Guest list keeps growing!
HELP! Invitation Wording!
more in Boards
How cute is my FI!?!?!

Any one else getting super sad over number of "Declines" on the RSVP?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  • 2 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    cardigan sweater    May 29, 2010  

    Well, as of today we are past the RSVP deadline and I was just looking over the total number of guests that have declined and it's making me super sad.  So far we have about 80 guests attending and of them only about 10 are actually from my side.  The rest of mine have all been no.  I know that most of my side would have to travel to come to the wedding (a fact I was aware of from the time we got enganged) but actually looking over the list and seeing all of the declines together has really gotten me depressed.  I know I should be happy for those that are actually coming but I can't help but be a little depressed over the ones that are not.  Is anyone else having similar feelings or is it just me? 

     
    2.
    Member
    2,515 posts
    Sugar bee
    Tulip61110    June 11, 2010   Philadelphia

    I can relate.  Our wedding is in my FI's hometown and all of his friends and family are local.  All my family and a lot of friends are out of town.  I'm fortunate because a lot of my out of town family are coming, however, a lot of my friends from out of town can't.  I knew this going into it, but yeah, it still kinda sucks.  The only thing I can say is that you aren't the only one in this situation and just enjoy your day with your FI...regardless of who makes it to your wedding. 

     
    3.
    Member
    475 posts
    Helper bee
    teeleaf22    June 11, 2010   Milford, PA (wedding in Easton, PA)

    I can totally relate. We invited 120 and I expected to be at about 100 but looks more like 80. None of FI fathers side of the FI father's side of the fam is coming (not that I know them very well) and I know his dad feels bad. A few people we really hoped would come cannot attend. I certainly happy with everyone that can attend but still a little bummed.

     
    4.
    Member Icon
    Member
    41 posts
    Newbee
    felicityrose    June 5, 2010   Raleigh, NC

    Oh man - I'm there with you all. Our deadline was Friday, and there are still 80 people unaccounted for. We've had 25% of our total guest list decline already, and a good 25 people out of the remaining 80 will probably be a no. We invited 230, planned for 175, but I think we're going to be lucky if we hit 140... very depressing indeed, and most of it is my family not coming (after I've been to all of their weddings)...

     
    5.
    Member
    5,240 posts
    Bee Keeper
    cbee    July 26, 2010  

    I know what you mean- we rescheduled our wedding before we sent out official invites, but still- I went to school out west, and haven't made really good friends yet here in the midwest where our wedding was to be- long story short- no one could come.  I know many of them have seasonal summer jobs for the forest service, but still- it would have meant so much to me.  I didn't feel like a priority.  It was sad to have my would-be wedding mainly obnoxious family that I didn't really want to see anyway.  When I announced I was rescheduling- no one responded except my mother who has gone to no end to make me feel bad.  Anyway, I know how you feel- people should come no matter what- don't they know how much it means? 

     
    6.
    Member Icon
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    cardigan sweater    May 29, 2010  

    Oh I am so glad to know that I am not the only one.  Like Tulip, our wedding is in FI's hometown, so the number of guests from his family is almost overwhelming where as I could probably fit all of mine into one minivan.  I think the hardest part is from a few friends that I wasn't expecting to come told me that they would be there and were looking at flights now are not coming.  Also, my aunt who swore that there was no way she would miss it, suddenly forgot about the whole thing and never booked a flight.  It probably would have been easier if I didn't get my hopes up.  Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. 

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    41 posts
    Newbee
    felicityrose    June 5, 2010   Raleigh, NC

    So now we're waiting on 65 more people... and it looks like we're going to have a 45-50% decline rate. Does this seem high?

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    rebeltreble    August 7, 2010   Montana

    Heck I will be GLAD if most the people decline!Our venue is small and its capacity is 150. I'd love only around 60-80 people because then I could save on food. :-)

     
    9.
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    FMILady    June 6, 2010   Texas

    What has saddened me is the declines from her family friends for the bridal shower.  Two people who are supposedly very close to her have decided not to come- and I have no idea why.  Doesn't make sense- unless they were not invited to the wedding... this is something I don't know since I didn't send out those invitations, and was instructed by the MOB to invite them to the shower. 

     
    10.
    Member
    2,098 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    We were actually really happy when people started declining :) When we sent our STDs, it was looking like 95 percent of our guest list were coming, and that terrified me (we wanted a smallish wedding). We invited 100, and our final count ended up being 75 total. It was perfect, and we came in under budget because of the money we saved on our reception food (we budgeted for 90 people to be safe).

     
    11.
    Member
    2,338 posts
    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    I was on the other side- our wedding was like all my family. his only family who came were his mom sister and grandma. it was really sad for him, but he kept saying he was just glad to be joining my family!

     
    12.
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    mtbutterflyrose    August 3, 2010   montana

    The deadline for my rspv's was may 1 and only just a handful has come back LOL  I dont know if people are comeing or not!!  It makes me sad because the rsvps weve gotten were all from my fiance's family and they are coming from thousands of miles away.  My family on the other hand all live close enough to drive and We havent gotten very many rsvps back!  We have planned for around 50 people; we will be lucky to get 20 at this rate.  But that just means that the ones that do show are the important ones anyhow because they cared enough to show.      You are not alone, except im more angry at my family and friends then sad at this point.      I just keep reminding myself that those that show are the ones who truly care about my fiance and I.   Good luck :-)

     
    13.
    Member Icon
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee
    nebz22002    July 17, 2010   Madison, WI

    I am quite sad about all the no's as well. We had sent out save the dates quite some time ago, but now people are saying they have birthday parties or something else to do. It makes me very sad because I am constantly doing things for others and never for myself and this is the one day that is for me and my future husband and we are getting no support. Oh well.  What can you do?

     
    14.
    Member
    632 posts
    Busy bee
    Bride_Colleen    September 4, 2010   Canada

    I haven't got that far but I think it will upset me.  Our goal was to invite 120 max but I think it will be more about 130.  A lot of my family lives in town so i'm sure a lot will come but there are a few people that live far away that I will be very upset if they can't make it :( 

     
    15.
    Member
    421 posts
    Helper bee
    jgkittymom3    July 31, 2010   Living in PA, marrying in NJ

    I'm really upset about the number of declines....I'd only gotten back ~25 RSVPS and 10 were declines, with about 75% unaccounted for. We invited 130, and are at 118 (not counting those who have yet to reply assuming those are yes). It makes me really upset, even more so when people aren't even sending them back and telling me to my face they are not attending.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ellisrobertson 23
    fishbone 15
    MsPanda 14
    aduarte3201 14
    mypinkshoes 12
    pengoala 11
    ladyartichoke 11
    ShellVee 10
    ndreighton 10
    sylvia.riggle 10

    Emotional

    User Posts Today
    sylvia.riggle 4
    peachacid 4
    Zouave 3
    armychica06 2
    imageeksowhat 2
    HollyCJ 2
    BellaDee 2
    zippylef 1
    pharmy 1
    PinkPinstripes 1
    More