Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
As a huge DIYer and craft fanatic I have always dreamt of the day that I would have the opportunity to DIY my wedding. However, soon after my engagement I have seen a lot of hesitation from my FI in allowing DIY. I asked him why and he says to me that " Since it is our wedding I shouldn’t need the extra stress of DIYing everything." I can understand this, but soon wiggled the full truth out of him…real reason is he doesn’t want it to look DIY. So we have come up with an ultimatum..I need to sell him on my DIY abilities and make up some mock center pieces, favors, etc. I am excited about this taks, but dissappointed in his lack of faith in my ability. My plan is to get a couple mock pieces together and compare the cost for him…I think if he sees that I can save us money and make something beautiful he will soon be on the band wagon. I know that I have the ability ( I have done DIY for someone else’s wedding and am very resourceful) I just need to show him. Have any other brides had this issue??
Post # 3
Oh, every time I would be describing some DIY project I had in mind to my husband, he’d say "Oh, I… well… I guess that would be ok." and be really hesitant. Then, as soon as I would do it, he’d 100% of the time say something like "WOW! This looks so much better than I ever thought it would!"
I think men have trouble visualizing things and often think a DIY project is going to come off as "arts and crafts." Just make one thing start to finish and show it to him, and he’ll probably feel much better about it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
I agree…he was the same way about things when I brought home a junky wooden table..until I sanded and refinished it
Post # 5
UGH, I went through this with my invitations.
He had NO faith in me that I could do them myself and make them look good. That made me doubt myself and so I spent weeks looking online for someone affordable. I got her samples and was not very impressed but I thought it was too late to start the project myself. I went through the ordering process and almost ordered them and then realized, "hey, I just did all the work, I choose paper, wrote out all the wording, choose the style and I’m paying a lot extra b/c they aren’t standard, screw this, I’m doing them myself". FH was not happy about this decision so the next day I made him a mockup of what I was planning and sold him on the idea. Our invitations went out and no one can believe I did them myself!!
FH has admitted that he was 100% wrong and that he needs to have more faith in me.
Post # 6
Like mentioned before, I think it’s just the male thought process. Their idea of DIY is making a garage bench out of some 2×4’s.
Another possibility is…maybe unlike other guys, he actually has images of this wedding and he doesn’t want something disappointing you know? But I’m sure once he sees your samples it’ll be fine.
But don’t cast aside his feelings if he’s not sold, it’s his wedding to. If he’s not sold talk it out and see what he would like changed. Like just as much as you want to DIY if he has other ideas, you two can work together to come up with ideas you both like and then it becomes even more meaningful because you both worked on it together.
Post # 7
My fiance was far more concerned about me taking too much on, than he was about the actual projects themselves, mostly because with the long-distance it was hard to explain what the projects were.
In the end I’m not sure he noticed (and thus ever understood) how much work I put into my DIY projects, but others noticed and it was SO worth it! Even the DIY "flops" show lots of character and hard work to make your day, your own!
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm
My FI is often skeptical about my ideas, but similar to other brides once I try it out he either is impressed and on board, or we both decide it was a total mess and move on! Sometimes he thinks I’m doing too much, but he doesn’t realize that I am enjoying the projects and want to put the time into them.
Post # 9
I’ve done so many DIY and have received nothing but support
i love love love arts and crafts
Post # 10
It’s funny because FI hated my first DIY project, my invitations, and now they have totally grown on him. He loves that they are so different and original (just like I intended)! In real life, he is a big DIYer himself, he just doesn’t know it. I put a lot of faith in him and I expect the same in return. For example, I let him fix things on my car, or now he wants to build us a deck. I’m just like, are you SURE you can do that? lol. I trust him with my life though 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA
I’ve gotten a lot of support from my FI about my DIY plans, mainly because I always show him the cost to buy it first, then present the DIY cost and plans. Cost savings always gets him!
But with some other people, I’ve gotten some snobbish/passive aggressive comments, like "(insert raised eyebrow here) Oh, I would have never thought about doing that myself". I’ve decided not to care, like you, I relish the opportunity/excuse for craftiness!
Post # 12
My FI has been very supportative and even pitches in. He knows I’m good at art and crafts and he also realize I want things to be my way with our vision. He’s more worried about me taking on too many projects. But, he really enjoys the money I am saving and going to Michaels with me! He’s a DIYer too–just in wood and clay instead of papercrafting. He even offer to make a clay cake topper that looks like us like I have seen online…
Post # 13
Like LatteLove, I think my husband was most concerned about me taking on too much and being burned out. I originally wanted to bake cookies to use as favors, but he and my mom talked me out of that idea.
Post # 14
My fiance has been supportive but a few people think I’m crazy for DIYing our invites.
Post # 15
FI knows I’m creative and he’s seen other DIY projects that I’ve done around the house & for other events. FI has very plain taste, he would be happy with sitting a single tea light in the middle of a table and calling it a centerpeice! But he knows that I have a very modern taste and that is recieved well by others 🙂
Post # 16
My FI is leery of my DIY projects, I think because his family does NOT do DIY projects, especially for weddings. This came to light several months before out engagement when I announce I was going to sew curtains (easy, right??) and I found out his family has to take their popped-off buttons to his grandma to be sewn on.
Enter me & my super DIY-family. We had several arguments and what I could DIY, until I brought him finish products of the invitation, the unity candle, and the ring-bearer pillow. He loved them! I think he’s given up the fight 🙂