(Closed) Any other Bees have FIs that are reluctant in allowing DIY

posted 9 years ago in DIY
  • poll: Have you met resistance to your DIY ideas?
    Yes, everyone thinks I am making a mistake. : (1 votes)
    3 %
    No, I have received nothing but support. : (16 votes)
    46 %
    Sometimes, some people are supportive others are not. : (18 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    773 posts
    Busy bee

    Oh, every time I would be describing some DIY project I had in mind to my husband, he’d say "Oh, I… well… I guess that would be ok." and be really hesitant.  Then, as soon as I would do it, he’d 100% of the time say something like "WOW! This looks so much better than I ever thought it would!" 

     

    I think men have trouble visualizing things and often think a DIY project is going to come off as "arts and crafts."  Just make one thing start to finish and show it to him, and he’ll probably feel much better about it. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    908 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    UGH, I went through this with my invitations.

    He had NO faith in me that I could do them myself and make them look good.  That made me doubt myself and so I spent weeks looking online for someone affordable.  I got her samples and was not very impressed but I thought it was too late to start the project myself.  I went through the ordering process and almost ordered them and then realized, "hey, I just did all the work, I choose paper, wrote out all the wording, choose the style and I’m paying a lot extra b/c they aren’t standard, screw this, I’m doing them myself".  FH was not happy about this decision so the next day I made him a mockup of what I was planning and sold him on the idea.  Our invitations went out and no one can believe I did them myself!! 

    FH has admitted that he was 100% wrong and that he needs to have more faith in me.

    Post # 6
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Like mentioned before, I think it’s just the male thought process. Their idea of DIY is making a garage bench out of some 2×4’s.

    Another possibility is…maybe unlike other guys, he actually has images of this wedding and he doesn’t want something disappointing you know? But I’m sure once he sees your samples it’ll be fine.

    But don’t cast aside his feelings if he’s not sold, it’s his wedding to. If he’s not sold talk it out and see what he would like changed. Like just as much as you want to DIY if he has other ideas, you two can work together to come up with ideas you both like and then it becomes even more meaningful because you both worked on it together.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My fiance was far more concerned about me taking too much on, than he was about the actual projects themselves, mostly because with the long-distance it was hard to explain what the projects were.

     In the end I’m not sure he noticed (and thus ever understood) how much work I put into my DIY projects, but others noticed and it was SO worth it!  Even the DIY "flops" show lots of character and hard work to make your day, your own!

    Post # 8
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm

    My FI is often skeptical about my ideas, but similar to other brides once I try it out he either is impressed and on board, or we both decide it was a total mess and move on!  Sometimes he thinks I’m doing too much, but he doesn’t realize that I am enjoying the projects and want to put the time into them. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I’ve done so many DIY and have received nothing but support

    invites

    shawls

    flowers

    place cards

    baskets

    headdresses

    guestbook

    car sign

    i love love love arts and crafts

    Post # 10
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    It’s funny because FI hated my first DIY project, my invitations, and now they have totally grown on him. He loves that they are so different and original (just like I intended)! In real life, he is a big DIYer himself, he just doesn’t know it. I put a lot of faith in him and I expect the same in return. For example, I let him fix things on my car, or now he wants to build us a deck. I’m just like, are you SURE you can do that? lol. I trust him with my life though ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 11
    Member
    662 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA

    I’ve gotten a lot of support from my FI about my DIY plans, mainly because I always show him the cost to buy it first, then present the DIY cost and plans.  Cost savings always gets him!

    But with some other people, I’ve gotten some snobbish/passive aggressive comments, like "(insert raised eyebrow here) Oh, I would have never thought about doing that myself".  I’ve decided not to care, like you, I relish the opportunity/excuse for craftiness!

    Post # 12
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    My FI has been very supportative and even pitches in. He knows I’m good at art and crafts and he also realize I want things to be my way with our vision. He’s more worried about me taking on too many projects. But, he really enjoys the money I am saving and going to Michaels with me! He’s a DIYer too–just in wood and clay instead of papercrafting. He even offer to make a clay cake topper that looks like us like I have seen online…

    Post # 13
    Member
    3332 posts
    Sugar bee

    Like LatteLove, I think my husband was most concerned about me taking on too much and being burned out.  I originally wanted to bake cookies to use as favors, but he and my mom talked me out of that idea.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    My fiance has been supportive but a few people think I’m crazy for DIYing our invites.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    FI knows I’m creative and he’s seen other DIY projects that I’ve done around the house & for other events. FI has very plain taste, he would be happy with sitting a single tea light in the middle of a table and calling it a centerpeice! But he knows that I have a very modern taste and that is recieved well by others ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 16
    Member
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    My FI is leery of my DIY projects, I think because his family does NOT do DIY projects, especially for weddings. This came to light several months before out engagement when I announce I was going to sew curtains (easy, right??) and I found out his family has to take their popped-off buttons to his grandma to be sewn on.

    Enter me & my super DIY-family. We had several arguments and what I could DIY, until I brought him finish products of the invitation, the unity candle, and the ring-bearer pillow. He loved them! I think he’s given up the fight ๐Ÿ™‚

     

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