- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
This is kind of embarassing, maybe just a vent. My husband and I bought our very first house (very first PLACE) about 9 months ago and we got married 4 months ago.
We’d been together for 5 years before getting married and made SEVERAL attempts to get our own apartment over those years but we kept getting crap thrown at us (job loss, deaths in the family, family illness), plus we both had some credit card debt that we wanted to make dents in.
So we were of course THRILLED when we bought our house. It’s an old house (built in 1941) and in decent shape, but still has some issues. Our mortgage is actually about $200 – $400 cheaper than a 2 bedroom apartment around here would cost. It’s not in a great neighborhood, but not dangerous either.
Our average cars were recently paid off and we didn’t have an extravagant wedding. My parents helped pay for about 60-70% of it, which was awesome.
But …. we are REALLY struggling financially, even though we (thought) we had a really good budget set up with plenty of wiggle room.
When we bought the house and got to the end of wedding planning a lot of unexpeted expenses came up and we had to use our credit cards. And now they are out of control (about $10K for him, about $5K for me). We can barely make the minimum payments. But we didn’t buy anything extravagant or uneccessary. And recently, emergencies (and even sometimes food and gas) have to go on credit cards.
Again we don’t live an extravagant lifestyle. The last time we even went out to dinner was FOUR MONTHS AGO and that was only because we had gift cards. I can’t even remember the last time I bought new shoes (even though some of mine are falling apart)….
And things just got worse because I lost my job 2 weeks ago. I just feel so completely awful, stupid, useless …. and like we somehow made some huge mistakes in our life, even though I know that’s not the case. We are responsible and hardworking but …. I guess that’s not enough.
I mean, every time we think we are going to have some extra cash to go out to dinner or make an extra credit card payment, something comes up – the garage door broke, our dog had a UTI (hello $145), the car needed fixed.
And on top of all of the “regular” stuff, more stuff keeps happening – I lost my insurance when I lost my job and of course I got a sinus infection. And this was before I was transferred to my husband’s insurance so I had to pay like $150 out of pocket for an office visit and an RX.
And now our chimney seems to be leaking and it’s going to take $800 to fix. Our vacuum cleaner broke, but you know what? We can’t afford a new one. Our dryer is on its last leg but …. we can’t afford a new one.
I am just at a loss for what to do. We can’t keep living off of our credit cards. We tried for a personal loan but since we’ve only been living in our house for 9 months we don’t have enough collateral.
We’ve cut back on everything we can cut back on. And moving is not an option. Like I said, apartments around here are more expensive than our mortgage.
I thought that all of our patience, hard work, and saving put us in a good place to buy our first home and live average (not elite or even super “comfortable) lives. But I guess not.
I just feel so naive and stupid. But I don’t see what we did wrong. People keep telling us that we did nothing wrong, it’s just tough to start out and things are really bad still with the economy recovering.
But how are we supposed to live like this? How can we ever recover?
My husband can’t get a 2nd job because he works nights and goes to school during the days.
I’ve thought about getting a 2nd job (once I get a new primary job), but the thought is SO terrifying – I have really bad anxiety that is just getting worse and I get stressed out SO easily. I could barely handle the last few jobs I’ve had. I’m getting treatment for the anxiety, but that’s more money – paying the therapist, paying the psychiatrist, paying for my meds.
I just want to cry. I’m so embarassed. I just thought we were good, hard working people with a plan ….. and apparently god is laughing at us. Hysterically.