Any other bisexual bees out there?

posted 7 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I identified as Bi for a long time, over 10 years. I started off trying to deny my attraction to women, then migrated over to the Bi section of the field.  It worked for me at that point in my life.  The guy I was with and I were swingers at the time, which allowed me to explore my sexuality within our relationship. Obviously, he was very accepting of my sexuality.

I spent some time in therapy in my early 30s. I went into therapy Bi and looking to save my marriage and came out of it Lesbian and looking to have a relationship with a woman.  I have lived a bisexual life, but have always primarily been attracted to women.

I don’t regret my time with men — I have two beautiful children as a result of it — but I recognize that I was lying to myself about who I was.

I’m not suggesting that is the case with you. I have several friends who are bi and quite happy to be in a relationship with a person regardless of their gender.

Oh, and to be quite blunt, I don’t think I could do without d*ck either — mine just comes in plastic or silicone now in different shapes, sizes and colors and is attached to my girlfriend. *evil grin*

Best of luck and love to you.

Post # 4
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

When did you first realize you were bisexual?

Did you “come out” at all? If so, when/how/to whom?

Which sex are you? Which sex are you marrying? Did you always think you would marry this sex?

Does your SO know about your sexuality? Are they accepting of it?

 

I don’t ever remember not being bi. I started liking both at the same time and never thought anything of it.

I never really came out. I am physically attracted to women but when it comes to relationships, I prefer men. I just never felt the need to announce how I felt the same way straight people don’t feel the need to announce how they feel.

I am a woman and marrying the most wonderful man alive. I always knew I would marry a man. I always wanted to marry a man. Like I said before, I may be physically attracted to women as well but I can’t stand being in relationships with them. I don’t know how men do it. A romatic relationship with a woman drives me nuts! lol

FI knows about it and doesn’t care. He likes the idea of me with women sometimes or having another woman in bed with us but that isn’t any different than any other man.

Post # 5
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

When did you first realize you were bisexual?

I was 17.  I was friends with a couple in the class behind mine in college.  One day we got into a kissing game, and I realized I was attracted to her as well as to him.  However, I had no idea how to approach someone–male or female–for a romantic relationship, so I did nothing about it.

Looking back on it, I realize that all of my crushes, from when I first began to have crushes, were about equally on males and females.  The only reason it took me as long as it did to figure out I was bi was that sex was absolutely terrifying in those days.  My father had molested me for years, and blamed my responsiveness for the abuse.  My mother had managed to communicate that I was not supposed to be even interested in sex until I was married.  So it really took me until I got to college to figure out that I had sexual feelings at all, and that it was all right to have those feelings.

Did you “come out” at all? If so, when/how/to whom?

I got married to a man at the age of 23.  I told him that I was bi.  However, he didn’t really believe me, because I hadn’t had sex with a woman at that point.  (Like maybe adolescent boys don’t know they are attracted to girls until they have actually had sex with one?)  And I didn’t really talk about it much with other people, because I was in a monogamous relationship with him for 20 years.  It wasn’t a secret, but it just didn’t come up as a topic of conversation much.

My husband left me when I was 41.  At that point, I began dating both men and women.  When I got into a relationship with a woman, I introduced the subject with my family with a casual, “I’m dating a woman named X.”  My parents, siblings, and ex-husband had no issues with same-sex relationships.  My daughter asked me at one point why I hadn’t mentioned earlier that I was bi.  I told her that when I was married and faithful to her father, I had not been in the habit of mentioning whom else I was attracted to.  She agreed that was reasonable.  I think my kids had a period of wondering if my being bi meant they were, too.  Other than that, neither of them had any issue with my being bi.

For a period of time, I was not out at work.  However, when I next changed jobs, I brought up the subject during an interview, because I really did not want to go to work for any employer that would make me continue to hide my sexuality.  Since that time, I have been quite open.

Which sex are you? Which sex are you marrying? Did you always think you would marry this sex?

I am female.  My wife is also female.  Given that I was married to a man for nearly 20 years, I always thought I’d be with him for the rest of my life.

Does your SO know about your sexuality? Are they accepting of it?

NotFroofy knows I am bi.  She is bi herself.  In her case, she can be physically attracted to either men or women, but she has only fallen in love with women.  Fidelity is something we agree on in our marriage, so neither of us is pursuing relationships with anyone else, male or female.  However, each of us accepts that the other is attracted to both males and females.

Post # 6
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

 Awesome post btw. 

 When did you first realize you were bisexual?

When I first started figuring everything else out. But between joining drama club, going to my first dances, and having really cool friends I didn’t have time to think on it or worry too much. 

Did you “come out” at all? If so, when/how/to whom?

Coming out was a slow but steady process. Once I realized it wasn’t all that strange I felt fine and just like I didn’t want to talk about my crush on the boys I didn’t want to talk about my girl crushes either. I told friends and actually was able to talk with another woman about her feelings and think (hopefully) she feels more comfortable with who she is. My mom took it well but she’d already supported her cousin growing up so now we just go to pride festivals together and she buys me pride gear. Not good when she decided to tell a very homophobic great aunt though, hehe. 

Which sex are you? Which sex are you marrying? Did you always think you would marry this sex?

I’m a chick marrying a dude. Wasn’t sure which it’d be, but I knew what kind of person I wanted to be with and he happened to be just the right one. Would be equally excited about planning a wedding with a lady, especially if it was Halle Berry ;). 

Does your SO know about your sexuality? Are they accepting of it?

I did tell my SO . To be honest we spent so much time getting to know each other and I don’t see myself as bi first. I’m a woman who happens to be bi so I never really thought to have a sit-down talk with him. Plus when I ran the college LGBT club he attended meetings and stayed up late making signs etc. When we did sit down and talk about it he paused and thought for a bit, grinned, and said “So that means I beat out all the guys AND the girls in the world. I’m… awesome”. Now he’ll ask if I think someone is cute and I’ll be honest with him. Didn’t change a thing about us. 



Post # 8
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow I definatly love this post!

When did you first realize you were bisexual?

I don’t ever really remember not being bi, I was always attracted to both.

Did you “come out” at all? If so, when/how/to whom?

The only person that I ever offically came out to is my FI about a month ago (eventhough we’ve been together for almost 5 years)…he’s very accepting and he always “knew” I was so I never really had to explain it until I had enough of him bugging me about it LOL I think that my family and friends sort of know but never bothered to bring it up since I’ve never fooled around with a girl. 

Which sex are you? Which sex are you marrying? Did you always think you would marry this sex?

I’m a woman, I’m marrying a man, and I always knew I would.

Does your SO know about your sexuality? Are they accepting of it?

Yes definatly because he knows I’ll always be faithful to him and I am who I am ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

When did you first realize you were bisexual?

I’ve had crushes on guys and girls since i was about 5.. i started early. but i didn’t realize being bisexual was a thing until i was 13. I think i’m pretty much equally attracted to both sexes.

Did you “come out” at all? If so, when/how/to whom?

I came out to a couple close friends when i was 13, but i went to a christian school at the time, and my parents were pretty conservative, so i couldn’t come out to them. they found out eventually, and were disapproving, which didn’t do much for my self esteem, but now i’m pretty up front about it with everyone i know so it’s all good.

Which sex are you? Which sex are you marrying? Did you always think you would marry this sex?

I am very female, but i tend to have a guy’s mind. I’m marrying a man. I really could have gone either way, but as soon as i ended up with this guy i knew it would be him.

Does your SO know about your sexuality? Are they accepting of it?

He knows about it and i think he thinks it’s kind of hot as long as i’m not actively fooling around with women. We can compare notes on what we find attractive in women, it’s fun.

Post # 12
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A few of you have said you’re bi, but knew you’d end up with a man. I’m curious, why do you think that is?

 

When did you first realize you were bisexual?

Did you “come out” at all? If so, when/how/to whom?

Which sex are you? Which sex are you marrying? Did you always think you would marry this sex?

Does your SO know about your sexuality? Are they accepting of it?

I realized I was bi when I was about fourteen, but I was in denial of it for a while. I tried to tell my parents a few times but chickened out. A few friends in highschool knew but I always dated boys. I didn’t really officially come out until I started dating my FI, who is a woman. Then I told everyone because I knew this was serious. I am a female marrying a female, obviously. And yes, FI knows I am bi. She is fine with it. 

Post # 13
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I realized when i was 13 or so. I came out to my mom due to the fact my “date” was a girl and not a guy at the time.I did date both sexes for along time

im a girl, marrying a girl. We are both bi but love eachother very much!

Post # 14
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@moonadea: I only “knew” because I’m more attracted to men, but I would be with a girl if given the chance (It’s so hard to explain so please bear with me! LOL) and would definatly have a relationship and marry a girl if it was that serious. Also keep in mind, I met FI when I was 14 and fell for him HARD soon after, I just knew he was the one I wanted to marry ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@moonadea: Like I said earlier, I may be sexually attracted to women but when it comes to long term relationships, I have always preferred men. I like to be the feminen one in the relationship and am not really into more masculine women. I like feminen women. But I can’t be in a relationship with one. It just gets too catty for me. I have had relationships with women in the past but haven’t been as happy as I am with men. Again, I like women. I am attracted to them. But I can’t stand being in long-term relationships with them.

Post # 16
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I identify more as pansexual, but close enough. It’s something I’ve always known, but most people don’t think to ask, and I don’t talk about it much, because I’ve been with the same guy for so long. Most people just assume that I’m straight, but super, super pro-gay rights. Anonymous forums make this a lot easier. ๐Ÿ™‚

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