Post # 1
I’m having such a hard time with my depression this week. I’m so down.
I was so excited for this year and thought it was going to be so great and it’s just turned out not be how I thought.
I was fired from my job in February totally out of the blue. My reviews were always positive and resulted in raises. I never had any client complaints or warnings from my supervisors. I haven’t been able to find a job since and this has caused a HUGE finicial stress. We had all our stuff booked and planned including a 2 week honeymoon to Italy.
My FI is working ALL the time and picking up tons of extra shifts to help cover everything and support us. So he’s never around. I feel like I’ve had no support from anyone. I have planned everything for this wedding all by myself. At first my stepmom seemed excited but then she asked about throwing a shower and mentioned inviting all my family including uncles and my FI. I said I don’t think any of them would want to come (all this through email) and I haven’t talked to her since. I only knew she wasn’t still throwing me a shower because my MOH told me.
I know it’s not the bridesmaids job to help with everything but I just thought my girls would be more supportive. My mom has passed away so I don’t have her to help and I just thought everyone would be more helpful and sensitive to that. I’m home alone all day by myself, working on wedding crap when I can afford it.
On top of all that I feel totally neautral towards my future family in law. I have no feelings for any of them. FIs brother wanted us to change our date because they are having their 6th baby and might not be able to make it. I haven’t heard a word from said brother and sister-in-law about our wedding or congratulations or welcome to the family. FIs sister is standing on his side but I’ve been including her in the emails about hair and make and nails and that stuff and she doesn’t respond. I’ve mentioned we should hangout and she doesn’t care. FIs mom has tried welcoming me into the family a bit more. She was going to throw me a shower but I never heard another word about that.
FIs parents asked if they could have the rehearsal dinner at our house…um, the night before my wedding…NO. Don’t stress me out with this stuff…i’ve already planned this WHOLE DAMN THING!!!
I’m already so stressed about finding a job when we get back from our honeymoon. I’m just stressed, lonely, broke and sad.
I can’t imagine anyone actually reading all this so if somehow you made it down here thanks!
Post # 3
Ugh that sounds really rough. Hopefully things start looking up for you soon.
Post # 4
when I lost my job I had a really hard time managing my depression and that was before I got engaged so I can’t IMAGINE trying to do all this while feeling like i don’t have the love and support of my family, friends AND FIs family.
hang in there. Soon you will be married (I’m the day after you 🙂
Post # 5
I’m struggling lately. I’m so, so thankful for everyone and everything around me. Life is good, but I feel stagnant. You know what it feels like? Groundhog Day. As in, the movie. The same routine, with the same results, day in, day out. I have plans, but it will take a while to see momentum.
It’s a weird place to be, to be happy with life, but frustrated to not be where I want to be personally.
I’m so sorry about your mom~ my dad passed away before my wedding, and not having him there was a huge loss. I was having trouble deciding on a dress and then I realized that it was always my dad who gave us the most sincere compliments when we looked our best, and I needed to see the pride in his eyes.
Don’t worry… the stress will fade and all this wedding stuff will become a wonderful memory of saying your vows to the man you love!
Post # 6
I know how you feel. *Hugs*
I have severe clinical depression and I’ve had a similar year to yours. My FI unexpectedly lost his job in March and our wedding was supposed to be in May and we had to cancel because of finances. Since then, he has only found temp jobs that are unstable and we’re having trouble finding him a good job. We lost our apartment and had to move in with my mother til we get back on our feet and I don’t have an awesome relationship with her.
My mom is completely unenthusiastic or sympathetic about the wedding and mostly just cares about her boyfriend. When we went wedding dress shopping, she told me to hurry up cause her boyfriend’s mom was in town and she was missing out on time with her.
My FI works pretty much all the time at his temp job and I have planned a wedding that I have no idea when we’ll be able to have. We should have been married by now but instead we may not even be married until fall of next year. We are completely overwhelmed with bills, trying to move out, and the wedding.
My FI’s mom hates me for “stealing” him and bashes me on Facebook by name for no good reason. She goes out of her way to make snarky comments about me when she knows I will see them. There is literally one big dramatic event a week because of her. She has constant breakdowns if my FI doesn’t come see her ALL THE TIME. I’m at the end of my rope with her.
I have barely been able to get out of bed this week. I wish I had advice for you but I don’t. I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how rough it is and wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I just try to keep thinking things can’t get much worse and the only way we can go from here is up. I like to think I’m just in the shitty part of my life and in a few years, life will be great. Again, hugs! If you need to talk, feel free to message me.
Post # 7
I’m sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. Just remember, that’s what you have FI for as well; his love to help you overcome it. In the end it’s about you two, so (as hard as it may be) just remember that it SHOULD be you two doing most of the planning and preparing. I know it’s nice to have outward support, but it’s not a requirement. Hopefully you can find some fun in the prep work you’re doing for the wedding, and let it help you take your mind off of the stress of the job and financial situations. Yes, it may be a burden and even more stressful planning a wedding when you don’t have that extra income coming in, but I’m always one to say that I don’t mind a little debt as long as I’m living and happy. You guys will get through this! Also, maybe you should have an open conversation with your aunt who cancelled her shower. She may have read your email as demanding and snotty, when you just meant to mention that sometimes guys don’t get into the wedding stuff so you didn’t want her feelings hurt if that’s the case. Maybe a little clarification will help a little and welcome her back into helping you a bit more.
Post # 8
Awwww Group Hug everyone… I can so relate to alot of what your going through, the loss of a job has such an impact on our lives, my FI was laid off in April out of the blue, and he was not able to find anything in this area so has now moved to the other side of the country for a job 🙁
So now I am alone and trying to find a job out there too but that is proving difficult. My family are all overseas and really are not supportive anyway so that does not help me either.
TRY to keep your focus on the fact that you have worked hard to get to a day that is going to be one of the most special days of your life and all the ‘rest’ of crappy stuff can be dealt with…later…
keep the focus on what is important you and your FI…
Post # 9
Thank you ladies all so much!! I really appreciate your kind words. I’m so good at focusing on the bad things in life. I need to remember I’m marrying the man of my dreams! I will work on focusing on the fun and happy parts of life. I am so blessed to have a FI that is able to take care of me and loves me and believes in me! Tahnk you all for reminding me it could be worse!
@MsMadHatter: I’m SO SORRY to hear about your rough times and about your FMIL! That would be so difficult to deal with. She’s obviously not very mature! *Hugs* to you too!