Post # 1
Hi ladies, I’m new, and this seems like a great place to get advice and connect with others, so here I am even though I’m not planning a wedding just yet! My BF and I have a great relationship, and I am thankful for that, but I have always had trouble talking to women. He has great friends who all have girlfriends, but I cannot seem to connect with any of them. I have 3 close girlfriends that I have known since elementary school, who live across the country from me. I talk to them very regularly, but besides them, in college, at work, I just always feel like the odd girl out who never gets asked to do things. I feel like I’m a decently attractive girl, does her makeup, hair, loves clothes, yet I only ever connect with men. I have made guy friends everywhere I’ve lived and worked with no issue, but women never seem to like me. I’m extremely loyal and caring and would do anything for my friends, this is why it’s incredibly disheartening and frustrating. I’m also really not what I think most would consider shy, I’m by no means the life of the party but certainly not hiding in a corner. Just wondering if there are any other ladies here who have gone through this.
Post # 2
I feel your pain! It doesn’t help that I’m rather socially awkward. I just never know how to keep a conversation flowing naturally.
Post # 3
For some reason I feel that way only with women Allie, I feel like they’re constantly judging me and thinking what I’m saying is boring or something along those lines. With guys I have never gotten that feeling, I’m sure many women have the opposite problem but I just can’t seem to shake it.
Post # 4
I also get along with men better than women. If I am forced to talk to women such as work or at school then I seem to make some sort of connection but otherwise it is difficult for me to make girlfriends too even though like you mentioned I am attractive, smart, funny, sweet etc. Women can just be so fake or catty or judgmental, men just seem easy to be around, lol.
Post # 5
redpanda16: I completely agree! I feel like on some level it’s because men are usually pretty easy to read/there’s no hidden emotion or judgement beneath the surface. With women I feel like what I say could easily be misinterpreted to some degree.
Post # 6
Yes, 100% yes! I buy clothing for a chain of boutiques, so I’m not usually on the floor “selling” but I do know our best customers and come and say hello, I’ll wander sometimes talking to my boss or whatever, and whenever I end up having to talk to a random woman, I feel as if theres crickets all around. But if they have a husband or boyfriend with them (and lord knows I’m not trying to “move in” on their man) I always feel a sense of relief and end up chatting away with them. So strange!
Post # 7
I always have this problem because I feel like I’m really fake when talking to people. Or I talk too much and say really stupid things.
Post # 8
I totally feel you. Most of my friends are men. I have some female friends but now I’m beginning to question some of my female friends. Females are catty and fake a majority of the time and guy friends are more upfront.
Post # 9
redpanda16: wow, you’re sooo like me – right down to the three old friends who live across the country! I have three brothers so I guess that does explain some of my problem. I am eager to read some good advice in this thread.
Post # 10
I have this problem too. I’ve pretty much made 1-2 great friends in each of high school/college/law school and that’s it. I’m very introverted and self-conscious. To make matters worse, I’m also the ultimate awkward turtle. It’s rough because I know that if I could just relax and let the “real me” come through, I’d be able to make more good friends, but nope.
I’m trying to work on it, but it’s been slow going.
Post # 11
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
Yes. Due to being a little quirky already on top of social anxiety unless I know you’re accepting of me. Don’t get me wrong…I have friends, but, many of them are just acquintances that I’ll see and chill with,but, would never actually invite me into their circle. Guys seem to be more open to me and always adore me.
Post # 12
I have had a problem with female friendships. There seems to be a lot of underlying competition, or even fear. I like to dress up and put myself together. I have had friends who don’t fall into that category, and they seem to feel threatened. I don’t care how they dress! They feel like I am trying to upstage them maybe? I just like playing dress up.
I’ve had a lot of women stab me in the back because of the way I look, but mostly they were yucky people anyway.
I tend to get along with men, but find hanging out with them one on one somewhat innapropriate. That and when I have in the past, they eventually try to put the moves on me.
All in all, friends are hard to find!!!
Post # 13
I am very shy and introverted, I had several friends at school but I have no longer kept in regular contact with any of them, and I have only made one close friend at university, and we don’t see each other much or talk that often. I have a couple of guy friends who I know through FI and my ex best friend, who are no longer in contact with my ex-BFF, I see them fairly regularly and FI has regular guy outings with them (that I am almost always welcome on but I like to give them guy time). Apart from that, no friends and I feel awkward trying to talk to new people.
Post # 14
I have this problem, and i’m very introverted. Thankfully, so is my FI and he doesn’t have friends either. We are so bad our wedding is family only and we arent having a wedding party (because I only have cousins to be bridesmaids, and he has no one to be best man). It sounds really sad actually but we are each others best friends and we are close with our parents so it doesnt bother us much. We have had lots of friends in the past but his problem is the same as mine. Whenever I’ve made friends in the past, somehow it has formed a group of people, rather than 1 or 2 close friends. In school I was a group of 10, at college I was a group of 6 etc… and groups have this problem where they will only meet up if most of the group is available. Also I find in a group, you are never as close to some people as others and things get awkward- people talk about the person who couldn’t be there that day, and my friends have always been all girls and they tended to get bitchy about each other. Of course with a group, you cant just cut ties to the people you dont get along with (the ones being mean about others)- you have to cut ties to the whole group. Thus begins the new cycle of finding new friends. It has sort of come to a point where I’ve given up. On top of this my FI and I have moved abroad and back- which changes things with friends you do have long distance. On the positive side, we have few ties and are willing to move anywhere and everywhere now!
Post # 15
I feel like I have an okay time making new friends but its takes two to tango. I find its easiest with coworkers or neighbors that are in my same age group. My boyfriend’s friend’s girlfriends I never click with though they’re just the opposite of me and I can’t force a connection. I’m polite and sweet but I have no problem just talking to the guys if thats my only other option.