(Closed) Any Other Older Gal, Younger Guy and Waiting?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Miss Raindrop- your post hits close to home!  How big is your age difference?  How long have you been together?  Do you have any children?

When my spouse and I first started dating, I’d already known him for about 3 years as friends.  I refused to date him because of the 11 year age difference.  But 4 years ago I finally woke up and went on a date with him.  On the first date, I was very clear that I wanted to be married within 5 years so I could have the option to have children if I wanted it.  I was so firm about this fact that he tried to set me up with one of his friends after that… but we were both smitten.

Throughout our relationship I was always very clear that I wanted the same things as when we first started dating.  As we fell in love, I told him the flexibilities I might have on timeline… and I should say that both of our mental timelines were *way* off…. We’re talking like he didn’t want to have kids until he was 35 (which would make me 46 and would never happen!)

So we always knew where we were at with each other… but with the age difference, I definitely let him drive the bus.  I was clear that I refused to move in together unless we were moving towards an engagement.  He moved up here (we were long distance for two years) and he proposed within 4 months.

Those 4 months were incredibly hard, since I knew we were headed toward marriage, but he just wasn’t ready.  I bit my tongue and set some flexible mental timelines.  During that phase I kept working on the stumbling blocks that might have been barriers for us, such as finances and any age gap issues that might have arisen.

Anyway, I’m excited you are here, and if you have any questions that I can help with, let me know!  Been there, done that, and have the tshirt!

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