Any RSVP nightmares?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow. You set your RSVP date and sent your invites way too early… Same wedding date and the earliest I’d have rsvps is the month out (my RSVP date is September 7). Invited shoud go out no later than 8 weeks (august 5 or abouts). A lot of people are figuring out their plans. Not surprised you haven’t gotten many back.

Post # 4
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are you having a destination wedding?

Post # 5
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have an August 7 deadline for a September 7 wedding.  We have about half of our RSVPs back (sent out earlier than 8 weeks due to the sheer number of out of town guests, and the fact that we live in a “rural” area – post is notoriously slow here).  

Only surprises were a couple of people who wrote in plus ones but were invited as singles, and a few people who didn’t put their names on their RSVP cards (but I had numbered them all on the back).

Post # 7
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My cousins don’t grasp the concept that sometimes, children are not invited to formal evening events. But it’s really not a hill that I’m prepared to die on. 

Post # 8
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I sent out my invites as well, and my date is later than yours but our RSVP date is one month prior to the wedding. Almost all of our guests have to make traveling accomodations, therefore early invites and rsvps. We’ve received 5 responses in about a week…we will see how it goes!

Post # 10
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@leenh78:  Although others disagree with me B lists are very rude and they almost always find out they were your second choice. Unless I’m totally sure I’m coming to your wedding, I may not know my schedule for October in July. You will probably get the definitive yes and no right away but I expect you’ll have a lot of stragglers seeing if they can make time/finances/work etc. work to come to your wedding. Plus if you really wanted to have “B-Listers” as rude as it is, they should have the same RSVP date and the same invitation so you really sould have had the RSVP date later.

Also don’t be surprised if plans change within the 2 months you have between RSVP and wedding…

Post # 11
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We had a total of 5 adults + 1 kid change from a “yes” to a “no” within the final week before the wedding. It all worked out though, we just gave their meals to the DOC’s setup assistants who were previously going to leave before dinner. 

Post # 13
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Everything I read said send invites out 6-8 weeks before the wedding date and set the RSVP date 2-3 weeks before the wedding date. Any earlier and people tend to lose or misplace the invitations, don’t want to make plans that early, will change their plans closer to the date, etc.

Post # 14
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

To answer your actual question though, we had one card come back without a name on it, but initials on the entree choices. Two entress were marked off, both with the same initials. We later found out that one of my fiance’s friends had invited himself a plus one and decided to order both entrees in his name because he wasn’t sure who he was going to invite yet. Yeah. Awesome.

Post # 15
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@leenh78:  I think so. I mean, for the most part, people don’t like making plans that far out, unless it’s travel/vacation. It’s like a friend calling me and saying “hey, want to go to dinner in October?”. I’d be all “chill out, girl, contact me in September”. I realize your wedding is important and might be a priority event for some of your guests (versus, say, a work event, or another wedding), but it kinda falls to the “your wedding is only this important to you” thing. And…August 1 is still three weeks away, so it’s not like they’re turning them in late.

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