@themis513: yes yes, there IS love after heartbreak! I’m so so so sorry to hear about what happened to you the first time around. My ex was not cruel, but our relationship did not work out and I loved him a lot and couldn’t imagine life without him.
Three years after our breakup, I’m married to my amazing husband, have a dream job, live in an amazing city, and could not be happier. The funniest part of all of this is that I met my DH when I was NOT looking for someone – somehow that’s usually how this happens!
1) Learn to love yourself. Keep telling yourself every day that this is a GOOD thing that happened. That your ex and family were nasty people and you dodged a bullet. You deserve much better than that. Tell yourself that you deserve a man who will love you and side with you and stand up to his family
2) Do stuff that creates new memories. Make it a point to have all your weekends booked – even if you don’t feel like going out. Tell your friends to help you to force you to go out. I’ve had friends come over the drag me out. Have dinners out every night on the weekends. Go to brunches. Go to parties. If you like to work out, work out. I took up additional hobbies. Buy some killer clothes and look damn good
3) Hang out with people who are like-minded and similar to your ideal person. I did make it a point to go to church because my ex was not Christian and we broke up over religion, so I made every effort possible to go to a new church, hang out with Christians, volunteer, etc., and I did meet my DH in a similar context.
4) Keep a gratitude journal. In my darkest times, I told myself, if there’s ONE thing that made me smile that day, it was a day worth living. So I started journaling and writing down everything that made me smile. The crazy thing? I had something to smile about EVERY day and after one month, I was SO much happier.
5) Help others. Sometimes in helping others, we help ourselves. So as much as this is a mind trick, it works, go volunteer for people who are less fortunate than you and you will learn to see more joy in life
Hope this helps! Hugs and lots of love xoxoxo