- 6 years ago
I have a friend that is a teacher but too embarrassed to ask her this. On Friday, my D had another one of her catastrophic blowouts where she didn’t want to get dressed or go to school. She ended up going to school miserable and teary, and LATE..this happens with her every week at least once. She has a favourite shirt, that she wants to wear every day. She also is very sensitive (emotionally and also with fabrics, etc) and also says she has a tonne of premonition dreams that come true…so I just began scratching the surface on reading about blue children, although not sure if I believe all of it. My daughter hasn’t been eating her lunch as well, so I took her shopping again, to have her pick out her lunches exactly so she would hopefully eat them. She doesn’t. She is of healthy weight and size and absolutely gifted and wise beyond her years…
However, my D went to school Friday and started crying in class. She told her teacher she was upset because we had “another fight” (we didn’t have a fight, I dont fight with her, I raisd my voice at her to hurry up because she was going to be late…however remained calm and told her she needed to get dressed quickly).
She was upset (I think) because she was in trouble for being late again, and she does this quite a bit..will put the emotional stressor on something else, other than the truth. Her teacher has witnessed my D go to school in tears at least once a week..my D starts just crying and I told her I wonder if she is beingbullied. At home she is super hapyp go lucky. The main issue is her wanting to wear dirty clothes or she is not getting ready on time, no matter how early she gets up, which results in a struggle.
(When she doesnt get her way, she cries rather loudly and does this with her brothers and me. The whole family feels a bit manipulated and even my boys have started calling her attention seeker, which I have had to repeatedly tell them to stop. But as a parent, this is very tough to handle.)
ANYHOW…(to my point here… ) is that my D was crying and the teacher pulled her out in the hall. She started sobbing saying we had a fight (not true) and that she didn’t feel comfortable in the sweater I “made” her wear. Her teacher suggested she wear a new one, so she did pull out a new sweater. She then told the teacher I was yellin at her and pulled her hair.
Meanwhile, I called the school about an hour after I dropped off my D yesterday to let the teacher know that she had a rough morning with getting dressed and also to pelase keep an eye on her as she was bringing home her lunches uneaten again the last two days, and it was her favourite sandwiches.
The teacher said “Actually, I was just going to call you as I have to call childrens aid because of what your daughter disclosed to me (saying disclosed with disgust).
I asked her what was going on, incredibly confused at this point…she then tells me what my daughter said, and I am in utter shock. Utter, complete shock. I feel betrayed by my own daughter that she would make up such a story, I don’t know what t oeven say.I start crying, I apologize, tell the teacher I am in shock and explained to her what happened this morning but absolutely that didn’t happen.
She insisted she has to file a report, and after many talks with the principle, he says she has t odo her job and she is just doing her job and this isnt a big deal.
Excuse me, but this is a HUGE deal. Number one, my child is saying I pulled her hair, it didnt happen, they are calling children services to file a report…
thats a big deal. I have called the superintendent to discuss this, but also, spoke with my D when she got home, and she said she thought I did pull her hair. When I asked when, she said when she was taking off her shirt and I was trying to pull her shirt off so she could get dressed, I pulled her hair then. I asked her if she felt a pull on her hair and she said yes. She didnt mention this to me at all, and she gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye when I dropped her off..I dont know if she did or I tugged her hair when the shirt was coming off, but needless to say, this was an accident.
Instead of the school asking her surrounding how it happened, they focussed on her crying and then the “mommy pulled my hair”. I know some friends who have occassionally spanked their kids but I honestly have never laid a finger on any of my kids. I parent differently. I don’t think you need to use force to punish kids.
So. here I am. A mess, worried, confused, and absoutely mortified. I went to the school yesterday afternoon to pick her up and they looked at me like I was scum. They make me feel guilty for something I didnt even do.
So my question is, what do I do from here? What should I say to the super? Can I have this reveresed? Is it normal for a teacher to do this because a child says she got her hair pulled? I don’t know how to handle this as I have never had t ohandle this…I made an appt with my D’s doctor to discuss her behaviours but from here, I am at a loss.