Post # 1
2 months ago on Valentines day my boyfriend had dropped several hints about how excited I’d be for my gift. I thought “this is it! I’m getting engaged!”, but no such luck. For the first time in our relationship I thought “Why hasn’t it happened yet?”. We had our 2 year anniversary yesterday and I was a little bit let down again. My birthday is coming up next month and we’re taking a vacation in August (to Niagara Falls, my gift to him for our 2 year anniversary). I can’t help but think my hopes will be up on those occassions as well! Though marriage has been a topic of discussion in our relationship, I don’t want to be let down. We have been living together for a year and a half, and marriage was brought up after just a few months of dating (though I definitely didn’t expect to get engaged then). However, his sister gave her now husband an ultimatum that if they weren’t engaged by their 5 year anniversary, she’d move on… he waited until the last day and proposed on their 5 year anniversary. I think she’s a much more patient woman than I will ever be 😉 I fear this is what my boyfriend now thinks is “appropriate timing”. Since the ball is in his court, I don’t want to get myself too worked up. After all, even with talks of getting married next summer, it could be years…
Anyone else having trouble keeping the thoughts away?? Had high hopes but no such luck?
Post # 3
@thearcherandthebull: A timeline would help you immensely. After a long a heated conversation (not the most fun let me tell you!) we were able to get on the same page. He said (back in December) that it would be by October this year (I had wanted it by August, but we compromised– well, he compromised, I’m sure he wanted to wait longer). So I am not assuming it is happening until October, so when I do see him (we’re LD right now ) I don’t even think about it!
Post # 4
Our 3 year anniversary was a few days ago. I’m getting EXTREMELY antsy. We’re waiting on an inheritance from his grandfather that was supposed to come back in August! Now the lawyer is saying the end of May. I mean, waiting a few months isn’t going to kill me, but I’ve been in love with a ring for like a year now and I want it!
Post # 5
While I’m not necessarily dying to get engaged right now, there have been a couple of times that I’ve let myself get excited when my boyfriend talks about a special secret gift, or when I’ve come home to see a surprise candlelight dinner set up in the living room. The disappointment sucked, especially since it was taking away from an otherwise wonderful experience. I can only imagine how you feel. The only advice I have is this: talk with him. I was similar to the sister; I told my boyfriend that he had five years to figure out whether he saw himself marrying me, and if he didn’t by then, we should both move on. I got antsy (we moved back to our hometown and people were assuming we were engaged/asking about it, and when we were last visiting his mother she kept introducing me to people as her daughter-in-law), and brought the subject up again a few months ago. Luckily, it is easy for us to talk about it, and through talking to him I’ve found out that he is certain that he wants to marry me, and I’ve got a rough idea as to when he’ll propose. Just knowing that he is thinking about it, and that we are on the same page helped me relax, and to enjoy those special moments for what they are: signs that we are happy and our relationship is growing and thriving.
Post # 6
Everytime my boyfriend plans a surprise or something sweet, I get a little fluttery thinking this may be it. But, it hasnt been yet!
I think the best thing you can do is never expect it to happen, so that when it does you are surprised.
But also, I know we are on the same path (thanks to many discussions) so I know it is in our future. Having that chat was a big relief.
Post # 7
I hate waiting too! I think my BF has a date planned for August, but I can’t be sure. For me, I’m trying to enjoy each trip/occasion without any expectation. It’s not easy, but I know how important it is to my BF that the proposal be a surprise and at just the right moment. I don’t want to miss out on the experience or just spending time with him. So when I start to feel antsy, I remind myself that I KNOW we are going to get married and that I love him so very much. When the time comes, it will be amazing, perfect and everything I thought it would be. Until then, I don’t want to ruin the moment. But it’s frustrating and it takes a lot of effort. I know I’ll be happier and he will be too if I don’t assume he’s going to propose at every turn.