Post # 1
I was reading a thread on here earlier that asked what age fellow Bees and their partners would TTC. Almost ALL answers placed the Bee in question in her 30’s or late 20’s (28 and 29 were the unanimous “youngest” age, if I can remember).
I feel naive, and a bit like a fool, because I’ve always wanted kids young. I’m 20 and want my first baby at the LATEST by 25. 23 or 24 sounds perfect to me, which is only 3 or 4 years away. Obviously if I am in severe financial distress I wouldn’t TTC just because I have to make my “timeline”, but that is my goal. I am studying to be a teacher, but I envision myself being a mother and a wife over anything else. (Not that I don’t think teaching is my calling, but if I had to choose one or the other, having lots of children would win every time.)
Now I wonder why so many women chose to wait until they are a bit older. Am I truly naive in my timeline? Is it just the thought that you can’t be financially/emotionally ready for a baby that young?
Women who chose to have children young; how did it work for you? What have been the downfalls? If you could go back, would you wait until you’re older to have children?
Post # 3
I know for myself I would definitely have had children at 25 if I’d met the right man and been at the right point in our careers and financially etc, but it just didn’t happen that way. I ended up being 29 by the time that was all in place and we were married. Sometimes things just take time. Reflecting back now I’m kind of glad I waited that bit longer as I do feel more mature in many ways now and more ready now.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’m 30 and waiting until early 30s (*hopefully* – knock on wood – that always seems like jinxing it) because I’ve prioritized education (college and graduate school) and traveling. I definitely *could* have had kids earlier, but I was not willing to be tied down that early. I’ve had so many awesome adventures and experiences that just wouldn’t have been possible. Each to their own though! Obviously children/family are their own awesome adventure, and you can also try to travel post-retirement….
Post # 5
It’s kinda hard to have children old by choice, I mean how would they fit in the uterus??? Giving birth would really really hurt! Ouch!
Sorry! I couldn’t resist!!!
Post # 6
I always knew I wanted children. I thought I would have a child when I turned 25. I have three. Yah. I always get the, “You’re so young” and “How old are you”. Alot of people here that are my age have at least one or two kids.
The other day, I thought about what my life would be like at this age, without kids and I really don’t know if I would have been any more “stable” than I am now. I probably would have partied more if it werent for the kids. So.. I think this way worked out better 🙂
Post # 7
Im 24 and DH is 28,and were TTC. Its hard to explain but it just feels…right. We both have stable careers, are financially stable and just feel ready. I also have PCOS so TTC could take a little longer. Well its taken 3 years so far haha! Weve had a lot of criticism but its a decision that,ulitmately, right for us. I havent always wanted kids or dreamt of myself as a mother, its something that only happened since Ive been with DH, but then, I said I never wanted to get married either!
Post # 8
For me it was about the importance of living life – as much experiences and education as I could get, living different places, trying different majors, careers, or paths as I could, meeting different people. I think that the 20s is an important time to do those things. I got all of my partying out of my system, lived so many places, did everything I wanted prior to settling down. Having kids is something I take very very very seriously. I wanted time to dedicate to myself before I dedicate it to my kids. I was a child of divorce and I never want to do that to my children, so I was slow and careful to marry, slow and thoughtful about having children. It is something really important to me. I guess I wanted to live as much as possible so I have nothing to regret when I do have children. I don’t feel I need to worry about a midlife crisis or anything, because I was wild and adventurous in my 20s, so I feel I know who I am and what I want out of life now. (I am 29 and we are expecting.)
Post # 9
@Meglin: I don’t think you’re naive. We all want different things. If you were seriously cash strapped and gave up your education to raise a baby with no money then that might be a bit foolhardy, but if you’re married and your hubby can support you and the child, why not?
When I was 23, having babies was very far from my mind. I had just finished university and was moving out on my own for the first time. I just got my first career-track job (which I am still in 4+ years later). I wasn’t married, and the guy I was dating was a loser.
I’m 27 now and in a better relationship and now starting to think I might want to TTC when I’m 30-31. I don’t want to be too old, but at the same time I feel like there are some things I want to do before baby… like start my company.
I was just so immature and unstable in my early 20s… having a baby would have been a nightmare.
Post # 10
My SO and I will be married when we’re 21 and 29. I can see us having our first child when I am 25. That still gives us a few years to get a nice amount in savings, settle into a house, and travel. I think he wouldn’t mind having kids sooner, but I am happy with 25!
Post # 11
I had DD at 23. At that point I had gotten a degree, traveled, and served a deployment to Iraq with the Army so I had done my fair share of experiencing life. I’m not gonna lie, I dont think I was really a “great” mom until I was 25 or 26 when I had more of my stuff together, but I don’t regret it either, especially since I’m a working mom and the breadwinner. I had the energy for those 50 hour work weeks while caring for an infant. Plus, by the time DD is out of “the nest”, I will be in my early-mid 40’s and still have lots of life to live!
Post # 12
Some people want kids young, some don’t! I happily spent my 20’s traveling, expanding my career, moving across the country, and expanding my horizons. The flipside of that is that I will still have kids at home into my late 40s, at least. If you have kids earlier, you sacrifice the freedom of your younger years, but get more time to yourself later on at an earlier age!
Post # 13
I know many young mothers and that may be the choice for them, but it wasn’t for me. I never wanted children until I could afford them on my own, was healthy enough to have them, and was in a healthy relationship. I got done with grad school at 24 and met FI then. My body didn’t handle the stress of school well and I would not have been able to get pregnant then. It took me our dating period to get a stable job and our engagement to get promoted to the point I can afford to be a single mom if life dictates it. My health is finally stable enough to try to conceive, but my doctor would like me to take another year. Shortly after we get married I expect we will be financially, emotionally, and physically ready to get pregnant. I’ll be 28.
Post # 14
I’m 22 and I want to have kids within the next few years. Because my DH is in medical school, we are waiting until his 4th year after he’s sure of his residency before we even think about TTC. That means the youngest I can be when we have kids is 26. I wish it could be a lot sooner. I’m not a partier and don’t think a child would hold me down. I think it would do quite the opposite. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. My husband and I are already one of the oldest couples without children in our families. There’s only one childless couple who’s older, but they don’t want children.
Post # 15
@trueblue14: Do they come out potty-trained? Might be worth it!