Anybody else feel ignorant about weddings?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

yup:  Yes! I was the first of my friends to get married so the only people I had for reference were my mom (married in 1981) and my MIL (married in 1978). I actually joined the Bee after getting married because we had our reception a couple months later. There was so much I didn’t know (or even care about to be honest) when it came to weddings for people my age. In addition to your list I’d never known about:

*wedding websites

*gifts being given besides that of from guest to the couple

*how many layers of paper should be in an envelope

*the price of flowers

*choosing the ring as a couple and then setting it aside without proposing

 

 

 

Post # 3
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Highfield House, Stanley, Tasmania

I am entirely clueless. My knowledge consists mainly of advice from 19th century magazines and etiquette books, and my mother provides little practical advice. In fact, I was surprised that brides are no longer expected to have a trousseau including a “second day dress”, and that orange blossoms are now rarely included in bridal bouquets and wreaths.

Post # 4
Member
6 posts
Newbee

@Aquaria How come you had the reception after getting married? Was it better that way? We weren’t sure what to do because we are getting married in July, but don’t know if we should have a reception the same night or in a few months. 

Also, I interned at an event planning firm and should have some idea where to start, but I just feel SO overwhelmed and as though I have no one to talk to about it here.. so you’re not alone. I am glad you got most if it taken care of without any problems :).

Post # 5
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

panda888:  We got married at city hall on a Wednesday afternoon (not an ideal time for guests) because we wanted to get it over with. Our parents wanted a more formal event so we did that later on, which was nice because we had no set timeline to plan. 

Post # 6
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

The thing is that one doesn’t have to plan a wedding any which way just because everybody else says or does so.

I don’t have a diamond engagement ring or have an engagement party. I did not have an elaborate way of asking my MOH to be my MOH. I just asked her. My FI’s sisters were not my bridesmaids. I only had one bridesmaid – my MOH (who is my best friend). I did not have a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. I did not use flowers or a florist. I paid for my MOH’s dress and accessories. We did not have any dancing at our reception because it was a lunch reception. We only had 48 guests. We planned to go to laser tag and bowling after the reception because we thought it would be awesome fun.

My friends approached me after the wedding to say it was the best wedding they’d ever been to. In the end it’s not about “ticking all the boxes”, it’s about saying “I do” to the love of your life and celebrating your relationship with your closest family and friends – however you would like to express that.

Post # 7
Member
6 posts
Newbee

Aquaria:  Thank you. I think family sometimes make life so much more stressful than it needs to be. I know they care about us, but geeepers. My mom’s side won’t even recognize my cousin’s marriage (almost 4 yrs now) because they haven’t had a “formal” reception dinner. 

I agree it should be about marrying the person you love and having those closest to you to celebrate! I think we might just do that and worry less about other things. 

Post # 8
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

yup:  Congrats on your imminent wedding!  Unless one has an actual wedding planner who attends to the orderly details, I think it’s subjective how an individual goes about planning their wedding.  FI proposed to me on Christmas morning 2013. We have a 2-yr engagement,  and I began the wedding planning late Jan. early February. I don’t have a guest list…at all…I do know that it will be a small wedding of about 50 – 60 people. I do have a to-do list/planner to keep track of my diy projects, etc. I think it’s a learn as you go process.

Post # 12
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

yup:  I’m sure ur wedding will turn out awesome! No matter what you do…according to society’s rules or your own drumbeat,  there will always be someone with something to say about your choices thats why I do what makes me n FI happy…P.E.R.I.O.D! I’ve always been an unbeaten path kind of individual and how FI and I are planning our wedding clearly demonstrates that characteristic trait.

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