Anybody else terrified of having kids?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
752 posts
Busy bee

@puplelishious:  Oh man, I hear you…I feel the same way.  We’re many months in with TTC and I’m terrified at the thought of growing a human…much less trying to raise one to be a competent adult!  I just trust that every other person on the planet probably has felt the same way..

Post # 4
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I feel the same way. I don’t plan on having kids for a few years, but I don’t feel nearly ready to have kids right now, and I’m 25. I’m terrified of being responsible for a tiny, helpless person.  

Post # 5
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

ooh yes! I have fears of dying from pregnancy complications! I also know of somebody who is afraid to have kids because she is scared of accidentally tripping while walking with her baby.

Post # 6
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i’m terrifed of the actual giving birth part. but not about being a parent.

Post # 7
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Well DS is 15 and I’m still pretty scared about f’ing him up. lol The fear never goes away… it just shifts from one topic to the next. My best advice is to use the fear to guide your research and make peace with the fact that parenthood is one very long shot in the dark. You never really know if you are doing it right. That’s just part of the journey.

Post # 8
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yes, I am.  Even though I’m an adult with a house and a stable career and the best partner ever who will be 100% supportive and helpful, I’m still scared…scared of birth defects, difficult babies, horrible toddlers, older kids with ADD or learning disabilities, kids who grow up to hate me and have nothing to do with me….and a billion other things.  The whole thing is a huge gamble that could honestly not pay off.  

Oh, and the older I get, the more I worry about these things.  I’m 30 and I *still* feel years away from being “ready” to be a parent.  I’m not sure I’ll *ever* feel ready.

Post # 9
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Being a parent is a scary thing. I have three kids and I’m still scared. My oldest is graduating from highschool this year and I feel like I’m running out of time fast. I’m scared that I didn’t do enough to raise him to be a good, positive member of society. I don’t think my fear will ever go away, even after they’re grown and parents themselves.

Post # 10
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I’m terrified of the concept of childbirth (fucking OW) and I’ve never been any good with kids. I’m not a jerk or anything, but I just don’t know how to talk to them and have no desire to hold babies or anything. I hope I get the maternal instinct eventually, because I dislike the idea of being a childless couple for life.

My silver lining hope is that once I have my baby I’ll learn to talk to him/her as they grow, instead of being thrust into a situation with a 2-, 3-, 4-year old like I have with my nieces.

Post # 11
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

*raises hand* The whole “being a parent” deal terrifies me. From being pregnant to giving birth to raising a child, it still makes me feel queasy and anxious. Every time I think about it, there are all thses “what if” questions that run through my mind and one of the scariest is “what if I screw them up?” And don’t get me started on childbirth.


Post # 12
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@puplelishious:  girl, I feel you. I flip flop every day whether or not I’m ready. My man is SOOO ready to start trying and I freak out when I think of the whole birthing experience and the responsibility! 

Post # 13
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

At the moment yes…we’ve only just got married. I will admit I took a test the other day just to double check I wasn’t – gained lots of weight, quite emotional etc. I am on bc but you hear stories don’t you! Anyway, I am not at the moment – need to lose weight!! I am not ready right now to think about trying but would be shocked but happy if one came along accidentally if that makes sense. I pray it is a few years though. 

Post # 14
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So much so that Im in therapy. Maybe if new moms would lay off the horror stories once in a while…

Post # 15
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

I’m terrified of raising a kid in such a technology-dependent environment. (I’m an 80s baby who grew up in the 90s)

I’m mostly scared that I will become a replica of my parents, which I am trying to avoid. I’m trying to break any abusive cycle that seems to have passed from generation to generation. My mom’s excuse was that she was overwhelmed, trying to raise two kids at the same time on top of other obligations. So, if I happened to disappoint her, I’d get a lashing with the leather belt; a wire hanger if I was unlucky. I don’t want my kids to fear me as if I was a tigress. I think building trust with a kid is a very delicate matter.

Post # 16
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I am kind of scared, partially due to the pain, but mainly due to my health, and what I could pass on. I have family history of mental illness, cancer, obesity, diabetes, and FI’s family has a history of obesity. I also worry about how I would cope with the responsibilities of having a child, with my health the way it is (Bipolar, Anxiety Disorder, Depression)

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