Anybody Else Think Being Proposed to is One Sided?

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I definitely understand where you’re coming from, and have thought about this many times. However, I do like the idea of being surprised. Gah! Why so complicated! 

 

 

Post # 3
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Many people do have what you’ve talked about; others prefer a more traditional approach. To each their own – neither is wrong. 

 

Post # 4
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

My “proposal” was more conversational. We were living a country apart, and had exhausted our visiting visas, so it just made sense. The conversation was kind of like, “What are we going to do next?” “We could get married.” “Ok!” 

It wasn’t the fairytale proposal that most people want ( I wouldn’t have minded that either!), but after living apart for 4 years I was SO happy to be able to move forward.

I think the idea of a traditional proposal is wonderful, but also dangerous since so many women are devastated when it doesn’t go perfectly, or when it doesn’t live up to their expectations. We are brought up to expect these fairy tale scenarios, and it is so unrealistic for the most part.

 

Post # 5
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

I wrote a post that sounded a lot like this almost a year ago. I’m STILL frustrated at this point, but he wants it to be his project. It’s the only thing that he’s ever wanted to do himself intead of me organizing it so I’m going to let him have it. He’s letting me design the ring anyway. 

Post # 6
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would have been put out if my FI had proposed without any sort of prior discussion.  We discussed marriage, agreed we could be ready for that down the track and then he started planning it.  As romantic as it sounds, I don’t think it’s something the guy should do without a prior discussion to gauge the womans reactions.

I do think it’s cool for the guy to perform the gesture though.  I have absolutely no reasoning to it, I just liiiikeeee it 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m glad we haven’t adopted your preferred way of proposing “as a society”. I’m not saying everyone needs extravagant proposals, but for some it’s more exciting that simply coming to an agreement during a discussion. 

Post # 8
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

missjz:  First of all EVERYONE should call themself a feminist. Second, having an opinion contrary to popular gender roles doesn’t make one a bad person or require a qualifier on their feminist tendencies. 

I AM a feminist, and I still like the idea of being proposed to. Of course FI and I discussed marriage, etc. so actually being asked to be married wasn’t surprising. But the actual proposal was and I wanted it that way. Agreeing to spend the rest of your life together is HUGE and their needs to be a guesture that coincides with it. I don’t want it to be something that we come to the same conclusion about, like buying a car or a house. And I like being asked to spend the rest of my life with someone and not have it expected as an inevitable. 

Post # 15
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

missjz:  I hear you, I HATE that it’s unusual to propose to a guy! DH really wanted to be the one to do it, so I let him, but gah! I was toying with the idea of proposing. I was ready to get married and he wanted to marry me too so… Why shouldn’t I ask??? Although I DID want a ring. I love jewellery, and that is such a wonderful keepsake.

Speaking of the ring he gave me, I also gave him a watch as an engagement gift. A super swanky one, it cost around the same as my pretty diamond ring. It’s only fair, you know? Seeing him wear it makes me happy too. I loved getting it for him. Both partners should get to have an ‘I love you’ present. 

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