Anybody else's SO hate going to doctors, seeking emergency care, etc?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

FI is diabetic. he won’t see a doctor about it, unless it’s an absolute emergency (he’s been in the ER three times in the past 2 years). he has white coat phobia, always has. he was sick a lot as a kid, and spent a lot of time in the hospital. i think that’s where it stems from.

people have to WANT to get help. they have to get to that point. before then? there’s nothing you can do.

Post # 4
15014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Dh was sick a lot as a kid also and was white coat phobic when we got together also. The way I got him to seek regular medical attention was through myself and his son. It sounds manipulative, it was, but it’s true: I simply told him if he wanted me to leave me a widow and his son an orphan (he lost his mother a few years ago) than he could stay home in bed and die or he could get up, go to the doctor, be a man and do what he had to do to make sure he was there for us. It worked, now he goes and takes care of what needs to be taken care of. Dh has a deep sense of chivalry and duty so it wasn’t that hard to get his mind in the right place about it but once in a while I still have to use it to get him over a medical pitty party as he has some (minor) chronic medical needs. 


Good luck, I hope he is feeling better soon. 

Post # 5
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t think most people enjoy getting emergency care.  I’ve been twice this month and hated it.  What’s worse is when doctors won’t follow the directions laid out by specialists in an emergency and try to treat with drugs that are known not to work for the condition.  Hated it!

Post # 6
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

MissFormaldehyde:  I am the one in our relationship that will not go. I was at our family doctor on Thurs to take our 8 year old when my FI called me for the day. He said, “you sound like you are the one who needs to see the doctor” I told him I needed to take care of my baby first. If he had been here he would have made me go too.

I had surgery on my foot 3 weeks ago and I have been up on it since the 3rd day when I wasnt supposed to be until the 7th.

31 and having that much trouble with his stomach is a big deal. Are there symptoms of other conditions? Like liver or kidney problems?

Post # 7
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My DH was impossible to get to a the doctor. Like impossible. And this is here in England where we have a National Health Service that gives us unlimited access to free health care. However, my DH has always seemed to think that if he stayed well away from doctors he wouldn’t get sick. Which is complete and utter nonsense! As a result, it wasn’t until he had a terrible haemorrhage last April which resulted in him being blue-lighted by ambulance into ER that it was discovered that he had Stage IBV bowel cancer.

Now I’m not suggesting, for a moment, that your FH has a life-threatening illness but for sure, he’s got some extremely worrying symptoms that need investigation without delay. There’s a whole range of conditions he could have and certainly I wouldn’t rule out gallbladder problems but at only 31 he certainly shouldn’t be suffering from such trouble with his stomach. So my advice is that he has to see a doctor now. Like immediately.  

Post # 12
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

MissFormaldehyde:  If you cook for him then I would just try to keep him on a more bland diet. If he is having trouble with his stomach then spicy and hard to digest foods will not be good. Also, pain meds will affect it too. Make sure he gets lots of fiber, grapefruit, apple, prunes. That saying “An apple a day…” saved my dad’s life because he has Diverticulitis which is also affected by spicy & hard to digest foods, also foods with little seeds, like Strawberries, Cucumbers, Tomatos, etc.

Post # 13
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My DH is just as bad as all of your SOs. And that includes the dentist! Just this weekend he finally gave in to a two week toothache to discover a horrible infection and needed it extracted. Granted, the dentist is his worst fear so I don’t blame him at all but ignoring it didn’t work and just made it worse. 

Hes also under the impression “if I go to the doctor they will find something wrong with me”. He can convince himself it doesn’t exist otherwise. He won’t even let me watch House or any medical shows because as soon as someones heart goes into defibrillation he starts to sweat and takes his pulse :/

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