(Closed) Anyone asked to be invited to your wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008 - Vineyard on the Delta

lots of people assumed they’d be invited.  there were certainly a few that straight said ‘i better be invited!’ which we just laugh off.  no one confronted us after not receiving an invite, but some people RSVPed more people than we invited.  i don’t think anyone would be asking about it if the invite never shows up, but if they did, i’d have no problem saying ‘well we’re trying to keep it small so we weren’t able to invite everyone’

Post # 4
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Some of my mother’s friends heard about my engagement, looked up our wedding website, and wrote that they could not wait to see us there (indicating that they were already scheduling vacation and making travel plans).  I ended up sending them invitations because so many people from my FH’s list were already telling us they would not attend, but I was a bit upset about having to redo the guest list to include people who were not even on the "B" list.  In the end, I’m glad they are coming – the more the merrier, as long as I can find a way to bring it in under budget.

 

Post # 5
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

YES! One girl who is a friend of one of my BMs, who I have NEVER been a fan of asked me if she was invited to our wedding. I didn’t know what so say so I said yes and later my BM said not to invite her and just pretend I was drunk and don’t remember the conversation :-/

Post # 6
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@AliCherri1: LOL thats hilarious!

Co-workers sometime mention things about whether or not they should mark the date or making sure our date doesn’t conflict with other things.. but my boss was very straight forward so I was very straightforward too, and told her that at the moment we don’t know if we have capacity to invite coworkers, especially since Mr Tofu isn’t. She then told me not to because it’d be easier. 

Then there are a few people that ask me if they can come to our wedding.. and after the awkward looks and "uhhh… " they just say that its ok and we don’t have to. 

Except one.. one asked if he could come.. almost pleaded.. so I compromised and told him we’d keep him on the B list – which seemed to set well with him. haha 

Such sticky situations!

Post # 7
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

This hasn’t happened to us yet, but when my best friend got married one of the people we know cried, yes cried, when she found out she wasn’t invited.  We went out after work for a drink and she bawled right there in the bar and oh, was it awkward.  My friend ended up inviting her, but inorder to have room for her, I didn’t bring my FI (then boyfriend).  To beat it all, she didn’t even show up!!!  I couldn’t believe that someone would CRY over a wedding invitation.

Post # 8
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yes – all the time. Coworkers always expect to be invited. I was leaving an old job and multiple people actually walked up to me with their addresses so I could send them invites! I just kept saying "it’s a small wedding" or "my mom’s handling the guest list". Works every time…

Post # 9
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yikes, wow…people are pushy.  We haven’t sent our save the dates yet and quite a few people have asked directly when so they can mark their calendars.  All of them are definitely on the list so it’s not so bad (though to be honest I still think it’s presumptuous to ask.  The only ones I understand are two friends who are also getting married this summer.  One scheduled her wedding so I’d be back from my honeymoon). 

But to share a story…I was invited to a wedding and a friend of my *date* who knew the groom (but wasn’t good friends with him) asked to be invited.  The groom is super nice and did, but I was completely appalled (and somewhat embarassed b/c I felt like I was involved in his knowing the invites had been sent and didn’t include him)!  Then, at the wedding, he complained that he wasn’t invited to a different wedding that my date was invited to in a few weeks.  I swear some people measure their entire social worth on who invites them to their wedding.

Post # 10
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Yikes! I’ve been trying to avoid all conversations regarding the wedding with people who I know we are not inviting. I know some people will be dissapointed but we can’t fit everyone.

I always ask myself this question: Would that person invite you to his/her wedding if it was the other way around? or Do I care if I get invited to his/her wedding?

Most of the time, the answer will be no.

Post # 11
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’ve had coworkers and an acquaintance from middle school that I’ve kind of kept in contact with over the years ask if they’re invited. Luckily, some of those coworkers are quitting and/or moving.

Post # 12
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I had the Weddingbook thing on my Facebook profile.  I ended up taking it down b/c too many people were asking about it and hoping they were going to be invited.  The one was from my cousin’s cousin.  So we have the same aunt, but it’s her aunt by blood and mine by marriage.  They have a small family and we re-connected on Facebook.  I just didn’t reply to her question on Facebook about being invited!  I haven’t had to handle it face to face yet.

It’s just so akward!  I can’t imaging doing that to someone!

Post # 13
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@hbowar: precisely why I didn’t add the wedding app to my facebook! haha!

I wish I had a new job, so I can easily get away with not inviting any coworkers.. but with this economy, it doesn’t look so good!

But don’t feel guilty about not inviting co-workers. Like Tee said, just tell them its a small wedding, or family only. (we’re having a "small wedding of 225 – but only 25 are friends!)

Post # 14
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

People do that to me allll the time. They think because it’s in Las Vegas, it’s a free-for-all. i don’t mind if people come and hang out but I am certainly not sponsoring any events for tagalongs!

Post # 15
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We’ve had a couple of people make remarks about getting invites or attending.  My fiance’s boss is a little annoying at times and thinks he and fiance are really good friends (they’re not and fiance does NOT encourage this behavior); he actually had the nerve to ask if he was IN the wedding!

Post # 16
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

A friend of mine from college asked me "Do I get to come to your wedding?" while we were chatting on facebook. I figured that if she was bold enough to ask, I should give her a striaght answer so I told her the truth: "I hope so. You’re at the top of the list for when we start getting nos from the out-of-town relatives we know aren’t going to come!"

I guess maybe I should have been more vague, but she caught me off guard! I didn’t have time to think up something true AND non-committal. 

Oh yeah. My boss (who basically fired my FI a couple years ago before I even knew either of them) got drunk one night at a work event and said "I’m not invited to your wedding, am I?" I told him the truth, too. "My fiance won’t let me." He nodded like he understood and said he’d send a gift. 

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