Post # 1
From the day I started at my job I haven’t felt welcomed. I’ve had 2 girls hired on after me and both seem to be more accepted by my current group of coworkers than I am. I have NO idea why this is….I try to chat with them, I ask them about their day/life whenever they’re actually talking to me or on the rare occasion, including me in their conversations, I thank them whenever they help me with something at work, I smile and say good morning. I mean, I really have no idea what I’m doing wrong here. I’ve NEVER had something like this happen. I’m friendly and fairly outgoing and somewhat a people pleaser so I tend to ask people a lot about themselves to get them to like me. But there has only been a handful of times when anyone has asked me about me. There are 2-3 people out of around 13 who have asked me a few questions about myself but the majority just don’t care… and I’m part time so I don’t work with the only couple that actually talk to me all the time.
I’m just venting I guess. There’s nothing I can do about it. Just to give an idea though, when I got engaged, only 2 people congratulated me. And what has me bummed today is that I COMPLETELY changed my hair. It went from dirty blonde, down past my mid back to reddish dark brown and just under my shoulders (7-8 inches cut off)….and NO ONE has said a word! It looks good bees lol I’ve had everyone else I know compliment me but there are 8 people here right now and no one said anything. It’s just frustrating. I compliment a change anytime I notice it! I don’t have a clue why I can’t manage to fit in here but obviously it makes me not want to go to work.
Anyone been through something similar? How did you manage to not dread going to work? I LIKE my company for once, I really don’t mind my job function itself, the pay is pretty good for what I do…but this just dampens everything, including my mood =/
Post # 2
soontobemrsm11: Ew, sorry you’re going through this. Feeling like the odd-ball sucks! Kind of going through the same thing where I work. When I was hired almost 2 years ago there was different staff here. Since some of those girls left my boss replaced them with people that are related to her (and the ones that were already here are also related to her by marriage) so it’s just me and the girl that sits to the left of me that aren’t “in the family”. And there’s only 6 of us so it’s kinda awkward! My boss is the manager. Her sister is in billing. Her sister in law is the billing manager, the girl to my right is her daughter in law–see what I’m sayin!? There are times me and the girl on my left feel SO OUTCAST it’s not even funny. Luckily me and her are chummy so I have her to talk to but yeah, still meh.
I hope you find some way to relate to at least one person you work with. Nothing worse than dreading having to show up to work everyday! ((Hugs!))
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
soontobemrsm11: Some people just don’t like other people for no reason. Maybe you replaced someone they really liked (or really hated) so they associate you with that old employee. Or maybe you got the job over someone else they wanted to get the job. My only advice is to try not to take it personally and continue looking for opportunities in other departments or with other companies.
Honestly, I don’t comment on a person’s haircut/color change even when I work with them regularly. I just don’t care about things like that.
Post # 4
RedheadMeggs: eww gosh that sucks too! They act like family here, everyone tells each other stories and all about their lives…they just can’t bother to include me. And there’s a few that have worked together for 15 years, others 3, and others only 2 but it’s like, they were this group/family for almost a year and then a position opened up to expand staff and I filled it and they just haven’t accepted me into the group. I’m glad you have one person though, that helps! Even one person can make a huge difference
beachbride1216: thanks, I usually can roll it off my back but I just feel especially unwelcome today. When someone hasn’t said more than 5 words to you in 2 hours, sometimes it is just exhausting ya know? If no one here ever commented on anyone else’s stuff then I’d totally be fine with that but they’re all complimentary with each other, just not me. Another girl changed her hair and everyone jumped to tell her how great it looked or if someone has a new dress or even nails. So it’s not just that they don’t notice or care unfortunately. Or well, it is just only with me!
Post # 5
soontobemrsm11: oh man that does kinda suck :/
nothing more awkward than feeling out of place at work. Honestly, I have no idea why they seem to be more interested in the other 2 new coworkers and not you. Possibly, the other girls have found something to bond over with them already and you haven’t yet been given the chance.
The best way to suck up to coworkers is food…
we ALWAYS love new coworkers that bring food haha. A box of donuts goes a long way in the morning :p i know you shouldn’t have to suck up to them, but hey it couldn’t hurt, right?
Post # 6
I just started a new job and work nights as a vet tech. Since I only see people on shift change I try to be nice and friendly but no one will ever really know me well since I work alone most of the time. So I’ve decided to start bringing doughnuts once or twice a month. I’d rather be known as the doughnut girl than the ghost who doesn’t exist! Lol
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle
soontobemrsm11: The PP that suggesting being in something sweet for everyone is on the right track. That’ll get you in everyone’s good books straight away.
The other thing I would suggest is picking the friendliest person there and work on making better friends with them. Ask them if they would like to get lunch one day or something. Once you make a good impression with one person then they’ll spread the word.
Post # 8
soontobemrsm11: I’ve been there. Being outside your co-workers’ exclusive “club” sucks, and you really can’t force them to accept you/like you unfortunately. What you can do as you like the company you are working for is to work really hard, show your bosses that you are a top performer, and then lateral into another position that opens up at your company. A couple of things though – is your boss(es) part of that “club?” If so, make sure that your stellar performance gets documented somewhere – you really don’t want politics to hinder your development and opportunities within this company. It would be even better if you had a coach outside your department (maybe HR) to monitor your performance/development. We had this kind of rating system in Big 4 accounting as it was SO political. A girl who started after me who I TRAINED got promoted before me. Don’t let that happen to you!
Keep your eyes open, and pretty soon, you’ll be looking back at this with relief.
Post # 9
leisha606: Equine_Breeder: AnotherMrsBrown: that’s a pretty good idea. People around here are ALWAYS bringing food so I guess I’ve never thought about it. I guess I’ll try bringing in like chocolate chip cookies. They’re always talking about wanting those. I have this feeling they’ll complain that it’s causing them to gain weight though…at least a few of them. But I know they’ll still eat them so it’s worth trying!
MrsNewDay: yea I’ve been trying to focus on my performance but since I’m new, my coworkers who have been doing this forever are SO much more independent. They don’t ask questions all the time like I do and are in general just better. And the only promotion available would be to supervisor at another branch unless I can get into a different department. I’m pursuing an internship with the company out of state that would put me into a back office department and praying praying praying I get it but I have no experience in the field so I’m unsure about whether I will or not.
Post # 10
soontobemrsm11: Gah I totally am in this situation too.
There are about 20 of us in the office. I sit at the front desk with another girl (who was here well before me). I talk to EVERYONE all the time just because of where I’m physically located but the office is very divided.
Half of the office is older and they all have kids.
The other half is younger and likes to go out together after work, get together on weekends, run 5ks/marathons, etc.
I prefer to keep my work and personal life separate, so I don’t spend time outside of work with people I work with, but it’s frustrating that they obviously think I’m not worth talking to AT work much because of that.
When I got engaged, I only told one person. It got out when the director of our office noticed my ring and announced it in a staff meeting, but it was a bit awkward lol.
Oh well, I just treat it like “this is work I’m here to work” and try not to let it bother me.
Post # 11
ebarnes0: I’m the SAME. WAY. I don’t believe work and personal life SHOULD combine. It’s like impossible to find a work environment where this is actually the overall belief though. I’ve only worked one place where they didn’t all hang out outside of work and the entire group was much much older.
It’s getting to where I actually WANT a much older crowd. I’m gaining nothing by having a good number of people my age, no friendships or anything so at least with an older crowd, they’re wrapped up in their families and kids and stuff. Or should be. I have always gotten along with older people anyways. *sigh* annoying!