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We're not married yet but we did break up in 2008 for a few months. He was really overwhelmed and getting into that guy freakout mode and broke up with me. It was a really hard time but I made it through. A few weeks before I was supposed to move into my new apartment we had a discussion where he admitted that he was thinking about me again, etc and I told him if he wanted to get back togther it had to be forever because I couldn't go through that again. A week later, he came home from work and asked me to marry him. He didn't have a ring because he wasn't prepared for that but he was sincere and told me that he knew he would never find anyone better than me because I was the best girl for him. I agreed and now, about a year after we got back together, we are planning our wedding :)
It was scary telling my mom when we got back together but both our families have been very supportive. :)
Sometimes, I think you have to make those "mistakes" and spend time apart to discover how very important you are to each other. :) My best friend and her husband went through something similar and so did two other couples that I married last month (I'm an officiant on the side mostly just for friends :)) so it's not all that uncommon.
Oh yeah...we had one breakup that I say lasted a month but HE said never existed b/c my heart still belonged to him **rolls eyes**.
Both sets of parents AND our siblings said that it was a good thing and that it's normal for couples to have at least one big break-up. In hindsight..it ended up being great b/c it brought to the surface some insecurities that we both had in our relationship. My advice would be to talk about any and all situations that led to the break-up until they no longer have a sting. Now, my FI and I can joke about the break-ups (even the big one) b/c we know exactly why it happened and worked to strengthen that aspect of our relationship...thereby strengthening our relationship as a whole.
We are getting married next month and even though both sets of knees are shaking...LOL....we are 100% committed to our relationship.
I haven't told ANYONE this, you, my fellow bees, are special! lol. I met FI when I was a senior and he was a junior at a track meet. after hanging out a few times he asked me out, and I broke up with him a week later. *blush* I didn't talk to him for months, but I called him one day when I was upset, and the rest is history. Maybe one day you will all get the full story. lol.
We broke up after we were engaged - then got back together and got re-engaged. He just wasn't really ready to get married the first time he asked, and because of that, it took a LONG time for my friends and fam to come around after we got back together. They just thought, well if he wasn't ready then, what makes you think he'll be ready now? I would get lots of other snide comments...I know people were really just "looking out for me", but it was still SO hard to deal with.
We broke up in our first year of dating. We were long distance and I freaked out thinking that it wasn't possible. I really regretted it and was talking to him one day saying that and that I messed up and wanted to be with him. We got back together, which was a good thing because pretty soon afterward I had to face the hardest time in my life and I'm glad he was there for me.
We broke up once too, for about a month. Like phedre said, it ended up being a good thing. We'd been together for 3 years and were just getting kind of bored with each other. We broke up and realized how much we really love each other and want to be together. We were back together in no time and got engaged a few months after that.
We kept running into each other randomly when we first met, ended up dating for over a year & lived together for a while. He was amazing when it was just the 2 of us alone but he was inconsiderate at the time. I told him he had 2 choices: fix it or eff off. He chose #2 so I moved on with my life. All my friends, family and shared friends were behind me. They didn't take sides but knew that us being together wasn’t the best idea at that point in time.
4yrs later he typed my name into google or myspace & emailed me. Then through another series of really weird events we ended up running into each other again – he said everything you want an ex to say (but never think they actually will) and asked for a 2nd chance or at least forgiveness. He was so sincere I was pretty taken aback – he was so different. I gave him a 2nd chance and never looked back. Best decision I ever made.
We joke that we were on a 4yr break. Our friends weren’t surprised when we got back together, even after a long time apart – a few have told us they always knew we would & we just make sense together.
@honeybun - I know what you mean. My parents were worried for me too at first & that made it really hard. They were scared that the same thing would happen again but it’s been exactly the opposite.
I think us breaking up was the best thing that could've happened. It allowed us to become who we are as individuals so that we could be together again as a couple.
Edit: Wow, that last line sounds a lot cheesier than I thought it would. Sorry.
We broke up about 2 years ago. We had been dating for 3 years and his father died and he did not handle it well, we broke up for 7 months and it was the best thing we ever did. Now we know we are not going anywhere
We've never broken up in 4 years....but we've had our share of big arguments. It just never reached the point that we didn't want to be together, although there were a couple of time we didn't speak for a day or two. I cannot wait to marry my best friend! :-)
No, but it reached a point in our senior year of high school where we considered it. We decided not to, and I am glad we worked through our problems, but we both agree that even if we had broken up, we would have gotten back together.
We did... for 24 hours. :) It was all because of a stupid misunderstanding about four years ago. His parents never liked me the same (and still don't, but they try!) and my parents understood.
We "broke up" for about 30-45 minutes when we'd been dating for 3 months. I guess in retrospect, it was more like "having the serious relationship talk."
In almost 4 years we have never been close to breaking up...but it did take him 7 months to admit that he was interested in me. He's one of those people who takes a really long time to make a decision, but once he does, he sticks to it. In the end, it was a good thing it took us so long to offically get together because I was also totally prepared and commited by the time it finally happened.
We broke up once for a whole summer after we had been dating a year. We broke up another time for a week or two, but I can't remember exactly when it was ;o) All the years keep mixing up for me.
We broke up for a week after about a year of dating. Longest week of our lives! It was completely miserable. I decided to move back to where I'm from, and that made him come around to wanting to be us again. Getting back together really helped solidify the seriousness of our relationship. I never moved away, and we picked out my engagement ring 3 months later :).
Wow! I'm so glad this topic is up here. My FI and I have been together for almost 8 years. And have live together for almost 4. (we have a son who's almost 4). We were very young when we met, me 17 him 21. And he was my 1st boyfriend ever. We got engaged a week before i found out i was pregnant but When we had our son and we moved in together things got pretty much turned upside down. We both made some very HUGE mistakes -things that are hard to get over. This past summer we had a total break-up! I moved out of our apt and he moved in with a roomate. It was HELL! All i wanted was space and all he wanted was to have me back. Long story short for me the breakup was a huge eye opener! I realized i was letting everyone else make a lot of decisions for me and that i'd really just lost myself. My FI did everything he could to change the things about him i disliked. So I've moved back in with him been there for almost 2 months now and it SO hard! He proposed to me again and I said Yes! I was Thrilled!!! Because I know now that he's the only one for me!But now he's not sure.... I haven't told many people because I'm worried what they'll think and becasue i don't want to tell people and then have it not happen. I've lost friends and had horrible fights with family because of our break up too. This is all very hard. I've already bought my dress and I think that freaked him out. He's still hung up on things that happened during our break up. I just don't understand how he could change his mind like that. If you want more details you can ask. Maybe some advice on this. Mostly just needed to vent! Sorry for the rambling!
@MissyE~ I totally know how you feel. I started listening to what other people had to say about our relationship and how they didn't approve of some of the things he did, and I let that get in the way of how I felt about him. So I broke up with him (twice like I said). Those times were so hard! And both times after it happened, I was thinking what did I just do?! But, thank God, he took me back both times. I guess we both knew deep down that we are meant for each other. I just had to sit my parents down-which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do- and just tell them that he is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. And I think finally, after 3 years, they're realizing it. Also, some of my friends didn't approve either, but I told them how I felt, and even though they disapprove, I think they're trying to be supportive b/c they want me to be happy.
Also, I hope everything works out between you and your man. Take care of yourself and your son first, and I'm sure that everything will just work itself out. That's what happened with us in our relationship. I really don't know what advice I could give, other than maybe don't push him into getting married. I don't know what's going on in his head, but obviously he's scared, and you don't want to force him into making a decision that he might resent you for. I don't know; that's really the only thing I have to say. Let me know how everything works out, and I'm hoping for the absolute BEST :)
Oh, I also wanted to say that I had to learn to keep my mouth shut about disagreements that we would have. I made the mistake of telling my mom/friends something that I didn't like, and they always bring it up now. So, I have to pick and choose very carefully who I 'vent' to about things.
i am so happy to hear i am not alone in this! about 4 or 5 months into our relationship, FI broke up with me. he had a guy freakout where he thought i wanted him to marry me (i hadn't even mentioned it, nor was i thinking it!!!). the breakup lasted a week and it SUCKED. now though, over 2 years later we're fairly newly engaged and totally happy :)
P.S. We were broken up for about 3 months. The longest we'd been apart in 7years.
we broke up once too... at our two year mark... for about a week... in retrospect it was a good thing because a lot of problems surfaced.
@Beautiful Love- Thats is one of my biggest issues i think! I would vent to all my friends when we would fight! And they've told me that i'm the one that made them not like him. I'm not really friends with those people anymore though for a lot of other reasons but it's all related to my relationship with my FI. I don't think I'm pushing at all to get married. He's the one who purposed! IDK I heard from a mutual friend that he wasn't sure how serious i was about wanting him back so our friend said why don't you purpose to her and a week later he did...I know i did wrong but he's not perfect either.I just wish he would figure things out.I know he's not trying to and i know he does love me but I feel like so lost now! Like The day a bought my dress i was soooo HAPPY! and now...i feel like an idiot.
We never broke up officially but we did spend 2 weeks apart (I went & stayed with my parents to get through exam period) when I decided I wasn't ready to get married (we'd been engaged a couple of months). We decided to stick with it (minus the marriage stuff) and a few years later I was more than ready to walk down the aisle. Unfortunately I think I hurt him so badly back then, that he's never 100% recovered. He's happy to be getting married but not as happy as he was the first time around - it took a year after I said I wanted to marry him for him to propose. But I'm so glad we stuck with it as we are so much better than we used to be :)
During sophomore year of college, we broke up on the phone for like 30 minutes. That was the only semi-break we had.
We broke up for a year, after 2 years of dating, and I didn't handle it very well, but I definitely had a lot of growing up to do. It was definitely good for me in the end... I don't think i necessarily came out of the breakup more "mature" but definitely more willing to see situations from both sides. At least out of all the people I know that have broken up and gotten back together, it's been a good thing. I think if the relationship was rocky, it gave people the ability to evaluate the relationship from the outside and realize that if you guys get back together, it's for the long haul the 2nd time around, or it's not worth getting back together at all. I was a better girlfriend after our breakup. I knew what it was like to be without Mr. Peng and I hated it, and I knew that if I continued to be selfish and overly needy, that it just wasn't going to happen again.
As for our families, I don't think they thought much of it. Mr. Peng's sister and her husband had broken up for a few months and then very soon after they reconciled, they got engaged and married... so breakups were kind of old news to them :)
We broke up for about a week in October 2008 (started dating in December 2007). It was awful for both of us and a week later he asked me to take him back. I loved him too much not to. He broke up with me because he had been married before and wasn't sure he was ready for that. He told me during our pre-marital sessions that he actually just wanted a break not a break-up, but that didn't work out for him.
We got engaged 5 months later and married 8 months after our engagement.
Surprisingly no, it has come up many times in heated arguments, and were very, very, close to. But it was avoided and we gave each other some breathing room. It kind of felt like a break at times, but not officially.
My FI and I were together in college for about 2 years and we broke up for about 7 months and got back together. We've been together 3 more years since then. I sill struggle with the way he acted and the things he did while we were not together. Even to this day things that I didnt know he did keeps coming up and just brings up that terrible feeling of why we broke up in the first place. After 7 months we couldn't stand being apart and just had to be together again. I love him with all of my heart and know the past is the past but it is still a struggle. It was also a struggle for my friends and family to take our relationship seriously again. I think our engagement was the turning point for most of them. In some weird way I fell like our relationship isnt "pure" anymore. I hate that we have a past and its negative.
@beautiful_love: It's like that old saying "be careful what you tell your mother,you can forgive him but she never will" It's hard when you start telling people things and everyone has there advice on it. If it were them in your shoes, I'm sure they wouldn't follow half the advice they give out! I work with the public and I made the mistake of talking about my problems with clients(I moved out recently after living with BF for 3yrs.) It clouds your thinking because you get SO many opinions you don't know which end is up. If you just get quiet with your inner self the answers will come much more easily. No relationship is ever perfect,it's what you can live with and what you'll accept and not accept. I have this horrible perception of everything always being "fairytale-ish" and setting myself up for dissapointment all the time. I've learned that life isn't always a fairtytale but that doens't necessarily mean you don't have "fairytale" moments. It's definetly work but sometimes leaving is the right thing to do even if it's only temporary. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or it's a stepping stone for the right guy to come along.
We broke up for about 2 weeks in January 2010. Thankfully, we got over that hump. We married in July and are very happy.
_MG_5221.jpg (485.2 KB, 36 downloads) 1 year old
We had been living together for three years overseas in England and he had a meltdown and broke up with me out of nowhere. It was really hard and all up we were 'split for only a couple of weeks and then we got back together. My mum has never been the same towards him as a direct result. she admits that she cant forgive him for hurting me so much, I ran to her in the aftermath and she saw how it affected me.
It was really hard - he was just being honest with his feelings which I guess is what you want. Now 3 years later we are getting married and although I still have some residual hurt (you can't just forget that can you) everything is awesome. He thinks that we didn't break up - but that is symantics ;-)
We started dating at 15, so yeah there were some breakups. Some really dramatic teenage ones mostly. Then one day it just clicked, and it was like a different relationship. He moved in a week or 2 later and we never looked back!
@vistagirl: hah same as us! my FH and I have been together for 8 years, but we met when I was 16 and he was 19, we were such children, off again on again like Ross and Rachel, lol! I went off to college and the first things out of people's mouths were "oh please no one comes to college with a boyfriend what's the point? You have to meet new people, figure yourself out". And for whatever reason, I agreed. But I think it was part of growing up and finding ourselves together, the fact that we got past that hurdle means how good we are for each other as partners. We can get through anything!
We broke up for 3 months in early 2009. FI was unsure that what he wanted to do with his life would be fair for me...so he ended it. I was crushed but went out all the time and tried to force myself to get over it...even dating someone else pretty much exclusively and often during the time we were apart (he was also in love with his ex, and although we don't have ANY contact now, I do know he got back together with her). FI's Mom had a health scare, and that made him completely re-evaluate what was important to him; me. We got back together on what would have been our 4 year anniversary, and had a solid year where we had to work on the things that we did to each other pre-breakup and during the time we were broken up. We got engaged mid-August of this year, and our relationship is more open and honest than ever. I know that if we hadn't had that time apart to think about our relationship, I would not be able to say that we are very happy today.
@MissyE: someone said something to me that stuck when I was telling her about this issues my family used to have with my then BF...We call friends and family when we need to bounce things off of them, and in relationships it's arguments, but we don't call everytime our SO does something sweet for us because people don't want to hear about that all the time, it makes them feel bad. After that conversation, I have been careful to include nice things that happen, too!
Broke up for 2 months after a year and some change! LITERLY WORST 2 MONTHS OF MY LIFE !! ( wipes forhead )
DRAMA ..
but i relized one thing in those 2 months I DO NOT OR Want TO BE WITHOUT HIM.
YOU can say we needed it though.
thes rest is history. . . on to the next adventure !!!
Rides off on a horse chasing SO...lol
hi ladies , im going through a very difficult time. Me and my fiance or ex fiance it really hurts me saying that broke up after being together for two 1/2 years and engaged only 4 months. its really hard and i pray that God brings him back but we broke up because of many arguements and mainly because he found out that i was chatting with my ex. but he supposedly forgave me but i think hes still holding a grudge, however he said we were'nt ready for marriage financially and emotionally. Can someone please give m some tips and if you think everything will work out, i love him deeply and i regret doing what i did but i really see him in my future and love him soo much i dont wan tot loose him.
and he told me not ot wait for him because he doesn't know how long hes gonna take ..i dont know what that means in guy code? Please help !
@vane_28: hi, I've only just seen this and that you're new here. welcome and sorry it's not on a happy note! I don't know what to advise you, I have been with my FI for over three years, engaged for 6 months and now I'm the one thinking of ending it. So I think it's not that unusual based on all the previous postings (I read all of them on this thread and it's actually made me feel a lot better!).
I don't think anyone breaks up with someone thinking they'll get back together with them for sure. It sounds like he doesn't want to hurt you any more than he has, and he wants you to be able to move on with your life. If I ended things with my FI then I would genuinely not want him to sit around hoping I would change my mind and take him back. I would want him to be with someone who is better for him, and for me to find someone who suits me better for myself. I'm so sorry you are going through this, engagements can be so scary and it's so hard to know what is the best thing to do. It's hard to know what is a 'normal' freakout and what is truly the end of a relationship. Good luck with it, you'll find this is a very helpful supportive place I hope!!
He broke up with me two weeks before the wedding. Still haven't heard his reasons, but we were together for 6 years and I had moved to another state to be with family because I wasn't happy with the "stagnation" of the relationship. I had told him I needed to know it was going somewhere and for him to at least give me a promise ring. We missed each other and I wanted to go back/he wanted me back, though I wasn't able to go back to the way things were unless we were engaged. He did say he wanted us to be married. We were talking about me going back but my dad who was terminally ill went downhill and I had to stay with my family through it. The wedding was to be 6 months after my dad passed, definately should not have rushed it while I was stil healing from that. So here is my experiende and I hope it can help someone to see not to try to rush things or push your man if he is not ready. I have also come to understand if he didn't feel confident enough and love me that much to give me what I asked it was ok for me to stick up for my feelings and can't regret it. The complicated part is that we have confided we will always have feelings for each other, and still talk (share the dog we raised together) and he keeps saying things like he found an old note, or seeing me made him sad. I finally told him I can't hear those things unless he wants more but I do understand he doesn't and that is ok. He told me he has been confused lately. I admit it is hard when he is so sweet and we have always gotten along great, but I have had enough of this man who won't or can't make up his mind. I mean come on, I was a great GF/FI. There, feels good to vent a little! I really don't know where any of this is going to go but I am surely making him work a bit if he thinks he can just have his cake and eat it too- leave me without explination, but think he can have all the priveleges of my unconditional friendship.
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So, the boy and I have been together on and off for 3 years. I broke up with him twice; I've made mistakes in our realationship, I'll admit. And let me clear up on the 'mistakes' part. We got too serious too soon, and I was never ready to get married, and we have never been engaged. I know that breaking up was never the best answer when I felt scared, but unfortunately that's what I did. It was never the right time for us to get married. But we're back together, it's the right time, and we're planning our wedding (even though we're not engaged yet, it's soon though) Did anyone else break-up before yall got married? And if so, do you have any advice for us? I wanna know why yall broke up and what your stories are. What your families thought.