Post # 1
So, the boy and I have been together on and off for 3 years. I broke up with him twice; I’ve made mistakes in our realationship, I’ll admit. And let me clear up on the ‘mistakes’ part. We got too serious too soon, and I was never ready to get married, and we have never been engaged. I know that breaking up was never the best answer when I felt scared, but unfortunately that’s what I did. It was never the right time for us to get married. But we’re back together, it’s the right time, and we’re planning our wedding (even though we’re not engaged yet, it’s soon though) Did anyone else break-up before yall got married? And if so, do you have any advice for us? I wanna know why yall broke up and what your stories are. What your families thought.
Post # 3
We’re not married yet but we did break up in 2008 for a few months. He was really overwhelmed and getting into that guy freakout mode and broke up with me. It was a really hard time but I made it through. A few weeks before I was supposed to move into my new apartment we had a discussion where he admitted that he was thinking about me again, etc and I told him if he wanted to get back togther it had to be forever because I couldn’t go through that again. A week later, he came home from work and asked me to marry him. He didn’t have a ring because he wasn’t prepared for that but he was sincere and told me that he knew he would never find anyone better than me because I was the best girl for him. I agreed and now, about a year after we got back together, we are planning our wedding 🙂
It was scary telling my mom when we got back together but both our families have been very supportive. 🙂
Sometimes, I think you have to make those “mistakes” and spend time apart to discover how very important you are to each other. 🙂 My best friend and her husband went through something similar and so did two other couples that I married last month (I’m an officiant on the side mostly just for friends :)) so it’s not all that uncommon.
Post # 4
Oh yeah…we had one breakup that I say lasted a month but HE said never existed b/c my heart still belonged to him **rolls eyes**.
Both sets of parents AND our siblings said that it was a good thing and that it’s normal for couples to have at least one big break-up. In hindsight..it ended up being great b/c it brought to the surface some insecurities that we both had in our relationship. My advice would be to talk about any and all situations that led to the break-up until they no longer have a sting. Now, my FI and I can joke about the break-ups (even the big one) b/c we know exactly why it happened and worked to strengthen that aspect of our relationship…thereby strengthening our relationship as a whole.
We are getting married next month and even though both sets of knees are shaking…LOL….we are 100% committed to our relationship.
Post # 5
I haven’t told ANYONE this, you, my fellow bees, are special! lol. I met FI when I was a senior and he was a junior at a track meet. after hanging out a few times he asked me out, and I broke up with him a week later. *blush* I didn’t talk to him for months, but I called him one day when I was upset, and the rest is history. Maybe one day you will all get the full story. lol.
Post # 6
We broke up after we were engaged – then got back together and got re-engaged. He just wasn’t really ready to get married the first time he asked, and because of that, it took a LONG time for my friends and fam to come around after we got back together. They just thought, well if he wasn’t ready then, what makes you think he’ll be ready now? I would get lots of other snide comments…I know people were really just “looking out for me”, but it was still SO hard to deal with.
Post # 7
We broke up in our first year of dating. We were long distance and I freaked out thinking that it wasn’t possible. I really regretted it and was talking to him one day saying that and that I messed up and wanted to be with him. We got back together, which was a good thing because pretty soon afterward I had to face the hardest time in my life and I’m glad he was there for me.
Post # 8
We broke up once too, for about a month. Like phedre said, it ended up being a good thing. We’d been together for 3 years and were just getting kind of bored with each other. We broke up and realized how much we really love each other and want to be together. We were back together in no time and got engaged a few months after that.
Post # 9
We kept running into each other randomly when we first met, ended up dating for over a year & lived together for a while. He was amazing when it was just the 2 of us alone but he was inconsiderate at the time. I told him he had 2 choices: fix it or eff off. He chose #2 so I moved on with my life. All my friends, family and shared friends were behind me. They didn’t take sides but knew that us being together wasn’t the best idea at that point in time.
4yrs later he typed my name into google or myspace & emailed me. Then through another series of really weird events we ended up running into each other again – he said everything you want an ex to say (but never think they actually will) and asked for a 2nd chance or at least forgiveness. He was so sincere I was pretty taken aback – he was so different. I gave him a 2nd chance and never looked back. Best decision I ever made.
We joke that we were on a 4yr break. Our friends weren’t surprised when we got back together, even after a long time apart – a few have told us they always knew we would & we just make sense together.
@honeybun – I know what you mean. My parents were worried for me too at first & that made it really hard. They were scared that the same thing would happen again but it’s been exactly the opposite.
I think us breaking up was the best thing that could’ve happened. It allowed us to become who we are as individuals so that we could be together again as a couple.
Edit: Wow, that last line sounds a lot cheesier than I thought it would. Sorry.
Post # 10
We broke up about 2 years ago. We had been dating for 3 years and his father died and he did not handle it well, we broke up for 7 months and it was the best thing we ever did. Now we know we are not going anywhere
Post # 11
We’ve never broken up in 4 years….but we’ve had our share of big arguments. It just never reached the point that we didn’t want to be together, although there were a couple of time we didn’t speak for a day or two. I cannot wait to marry my best friend! 🙂
Post # 12
No, but it reached a point in our senior year of high school where we considered it. We decided not to, and I am glad we worked through our problems, but we both agree that even if we had broken up, we would have gotten back together.
Post # 13
We did… for 24 hours. 🙂 It was all because of a stupid misunderstanding about four years ago. His parents never liked me the same (and still don’t, but they try!) and my parents understood.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
We “broke up” for about 30-45 minutes when we’d been dating for 3 months. I guess in retrospect, it was more like “having the serious relationship talk.”
Post # 15
In almost 4 years we have never been close to breaking up…but it did take him 7 months to admit that he was interested in me. He’s one of those people who takes a really long time to make a decision, but once he does, he sticks to it. In the end, it was a good thing it took us so long to offically get together because I was also totally prepared and commited by the time it finally happened.
Post # 16
We broke up once for a whole summer after we had been dating a year. We broke up another time for a week or two, but I can’t remember exactly when it was ;o) All the years keep mixing up for me.