Post # 1
Hi, I am considering cancelling our wedding which is 7 months away. Money issues have got me wondering if it is really all worth it? We dont have a set budget because at thisp oint imreally not sure how we are even going to save enough money to put aside for our wedding. We are just scraping by right now, basically only buying small amounts of groceries to get by and trying to get all of our bills back in track from christmas. Credit cards we have are maxed…anyone else going through this? And of course people will say why did you even try to plan in the first place but it is just personal matters we did not foresee at the time of setting our date. Please help!!!!
Post # 3
I know exactly what you are going through. Your situation sounds like me and my FI, except I started planning for our wedding last May. Most of our big purchases were taken care of back then before we had money issues.
Depending on what kind of wedding you want (100-200 guests, extravegant decorations and food, etc) then you will very likely have issues pulling it off in 7 months, especially if nothing at all has been rented/purchased etc.
If you’re okay with a small, intimate wedding, then I think you have plenty of time 🙂 Just keep in mind, caterers, venues, photographers like to be booked many months in advance… so the clock is definitely ticking for you.
I don’t think anyone would blame you if you had to post-pone it 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 4
@nikkip84: I think it’s a very mature thing to realize you simply cannot afford a wedding and to cancel plans or change plans. It’s very wise! Now having every credit card maxed is not wise, but making an honest look at your finances and facing reality is smart.
When I married the frist time, we were so poor and had several medical bills that were coming up, we chose to elope at the courthouse on a weekday. However, he neded my medical insurance to get surgeries, so we could not postpone.
Post # 5
The FI and I wanted a quick engagement due to how long we’ve already been together. BUT that isn’t possible at the moment. Our wedding date keeps moving to a later date. Luckily we never announced a date and still haven’t.
Post # 6
I’m sorry this is happening, and it’s a sad thing – i’m sure it’s not uncommon for thosein your situation to cancel. Although I wouldn’t cancel it, maybe just reschedule.
If you want an actual wedding, and don’t want to elope, it’s best to wait until you’re out of your current situation, and into one where you can afford to have it.
I had originally given myself a low budet [6k], and after awhile I realized that while it would have been a nice wedding, it wans’t my dream wedding. So we moved it back a year, and we are spending around 22,000. We’ll be able to have everything we want.
I hope things get better for you.
Post # 7
7 months gives you plenty of time to cancel and re-think what you want vs. what you can realistically afford. Unless you sent save the dates or made formal announcements, no one will mind or judge you for it.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@nikkip84: Scale back the size of the wedding. Is eloping an option? Lots of ladies on here have done very romantic and intimate elopements on small budgets. You can always do a renewal in 5-10 years when you have more money and style it like a wedding.
I guess it comes down to what is most important to your and your FH. Do you want to be married (which is as cheap as buying a marriage license and getting married at the local courthouse) or do you want to wait to have the wedding of your dreams? At the end of the day, a wedding is merely a huge, expensive party. It’s the marriage that truly means something.
Who cares what people will say? It’s really none of their business why you cancel. I would assume that something came up and the wedding got too expensive. If you already sent out save the dates, I would send out a quick note to those guests letting them know the wedding is being postponed “due to unforseen events” so they can cancel their travel arrangements.
Post # 9
@nikkip84: This is sad and I’m sorry you even have to consider it…I think when money gets tight, it’s time to think outside of the box and see what you CAN do, instead of focusing on what you can’t….Time to reach out and discover your and your friends and family’s hidden talents!
If you have an aunt or friend with a green thumb and a gorgeous garden, maybe she’d be willing to let you take over her backyard for an afternoon wedding…
I know that in every group, there is at least ONE shutter bug with an amazing camera, find them and see if they’d be willing to take some pictures.
A backyard wedding demands something fun and outdoorsey to eat, even if it’s burgers and coleslaw, you can jazz those up with fun sauces, an asian spin or take it to tiny town with sliders.
The dress is a little tricky….because every bride deserves to be beautiful and in the gown she always dreamed of, but sometimes it’s not as simple as going out and buying it…check everyone’s closet for antique or vintage dresses, they can always be altered and made into something that’s your dream…OR the thrift stores always have them…which always makes me wonder what happened, but why not? $25 for a wedding gown worn once? HELL YEAH!
The point is, if you want this, the people close to you will want to help you, but you have to ask.
Post # 10
We postponed our wedding originally had planned for june 2012. A lot of things happened some money related and we moved it back a year. We lost two deposits but it could’ve been far worse. Sit down with your FI and have a serious conversation about money and your plans. When we did and decided we didn’t even wanna spend as much as we were planning to. Cut our guest list down and started planning for Sept 2013. Really want to keep the cost down to save for our future.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2014 - Disney
Though we are not in “money trouble” we chose to push our wedding back 6 months. No matter what we did the money for this wedding was more than we cared to spend. When we got it to a number we liked people weren’t settling for our 20 people only speel. So we decided to invite everyone but expect only about 40 to show which means we pushed our wedding back to accomodate our guests and our pockets. We didnt want to destroy our cushion like moving in together did 4 months ago. We’ve decided to do some massive cut backs on this year’s christmas, birthdays, etc to make way for this wedding. The budget we have right now is ok and has everything we need, but we know there are a few touches we might like to have as well that will up that cost about 2-4k (better photography package, special car, added musicians, and upgraded decorations). We figure at this stage go big or go home but it meant pushing back the date so that going big wouldnt destroy that cushion we’re just getting back after the holidays and move.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone, I love to see positive feedback. It really helps in these matters. So I left out a few details, I have a deposit paid on my dress which is being custom made, a deposit on my flowers and a deposit on the photographer. Everyhting is pretty much booked just a few deosits left to pay, which we are unable to come up with right now. We had everything planned since last fall, then we bought a new house which was unplanned but it worked out for the better for our son. We had considered elopingand going down south but my mom and her fiance wouldnt be able to attend because he is sick with parkinsons disease, and the only person I care to have at my wedding is my mom and my two children, I want them to be a part of it, so we decided against it. We have a venue that can hold 100 people, I have in laws paying for the meal and my mother is paying for dress and some other small things. So it isnt too bad, I just dont know how much more really we will have to pay for. So now it is just to make the decision, it has been announced to most family members, but I truly do not care if they judge me on why we cancelled, its really none of their concern. Well that puts things into persective a little more, even if we cancel I will still get my wedding dress and keep it for a later date.
Post # 13
@nikkip84: I’m sorry, what a frustrating situation. You will lose all of your deposits you paid for – the flowers & the photographer. You can ask your florist for a cheaper option & also talk to you photographer & let them know the situation. You can ask your photographer if they re-book your date if they would refund your deposit. Also, some of the others you have booked already that require a deposit, you still may owe them the deposit even if you cancel. Just things to keep in mind before canceling.
I would try to cut back in everything, can you have a potluck style reception using one of your relative’s or friend’s houses? More of a laid back reception, like cake & punch only? Invite only relatives your close with & your closest friends?
Post # 14
Sorry to hear. How about scrape together a little portion of “big wedding money,” say a grand, drive someplace else/mini vacation and elope. Then you don’t need to explain your financial situation to guests who would be surprised with an announcement card prior to buying a plane ticket to the “big wedding,” and be surprised and happy for you….hopefully.
This is a very mature decision to make!
Post # 15
My mom was encouraging DH & I to postpone our wedding 4 months because of money issues. We decided to get married anyway, when we had originally planned and things worked out. I don’t regret it at all. Getting married when we did was perfect for us. We were just at that point where it’s time to get married. I think waiting would have made us go crazy. If you can’t afford a big wedding and waiting wouldn’t kill you, then wait & save. But don’t let money keep you from getting married. A wedding doesn’t have to cost a bazillion dollars. Check out this:
Check out love and lavendar’s blog
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I’d recommend postponing the wedding untli you get your finances in order, or go to the court house. Definitely don’t continue to plan a wedding you can’t afford, especially if you have credit card debt!