Post # 1
This is sort of open-ended, but is anyone else considering becoming a stay at home mom? (SAHM?) My husband and I aren’t even trying for a baby yet, but we’ve started to discuss our options for child-care. We both have really good salaries, so we could live off of his alone without a problem. And . . . maybe this is the weird part, but I am TOTALLY excited about the idea of being a SAHM. Maybe because I don’t like my job much, I just think making a home for my family full time sounds wonderful. And this, in turn, makes me feel guilty, like I’m betraying my education or something! (Ahh isn’t it fun to be a woman?) Anyone else dealing with these issues? I’d love to hear your thoughts about how to make the transition, and where you’re at in the decision-making process…
Post # 3
My cousin stays home with her kids and I really love how she can be with them. However, I didn’t spend the majority of my life in school to stay at home- and I think I would lose my mind staying home all the time. Plus, my level of education makes my earning potential a lot higher than my husbands. So if anyone stays home, it’ll be him.
Post # 4
We’ve talked about it a bit (we probably won’t start having kids for another couple of years). We agreed that if it was a financially viable option, I might be a SAHM. I asked if he would like to do paternity leave at all and he didn’t seem that interested, but he might change his mind later (though he will end up making a lot more money than me so it wouldn’t make as much sense).
I don’t think it’s “betraying your education” if you like the idea. Lots of people don’t do what they were “meant” to do with their degrees/diplomas etc. I think the most important thing is that it is the right option for YOU. Go for it!
Post # 5
We haven’t really talked about it much, but my FI did say that whoever made the least would do leave when we had kids. So he is admitting if I have a job that makes more than him, he will do paternity leave, but I don’t know if I could be a SAHM, I think I would go crazy.
Post # 6
I don’t have kids yet but I’m still on the fence. Part of me would love to stay at home but then I think I’d like to at least work a couple days a week. So for now we’re talking about our options.
Post # 7
It my goal to be able to do that when we have kids!
Post # 8
Being the breadwinner, i’d love for my company to allow me to be a telecommuting SAHM. It would be fabulous!!!!!
Post # 9
Thanks Brianalaura — I agree, I think everyone should do what is right for their family, and… I guess I really just think this would be right for us! And I think I might take some freelance or part-time work to keep my “adult-work” mind busy — because like you ladies I do worry about going a little crazy… It’s not an option for a lot of families, but I feel like since we have that option, it might be right for us…
Post # 11
I never thought I would want to be a SAHM, but I think I would like to for the first few years at least. My husband and I have discussed finding some sort of at home work that I could start to develop as the kids get older. I have a friend that started her own company out of her house and it has really worked out for her. She wanted to be home for the kids, but she was going a little nutty and needed an outlet that wasn’t kid-centric. Her company allows her flexibility with her schedule and now that both kids are in school she can really focus on growing the company.
Post # 12
My mom stayed at home with me from the time I was born until I was 3. I’d like to be able to spend at least the first year or two at home with our child if that was possible, but I really like my job… so that probably influeces my decision.
Post # 13
definitely considering it, but I can’t until I have fulfilled a contract at work…So, we are leaning towards.
kid 1 – stay at home 6 mos then part time then full time and or telecommute – his mom hopefully we can pay to nanny
kid 2 – hopefully can SAH full-time, at least for awhile
Post # 14
I have zero desire to work full time while I have young children (someday). I might work part time, or freelance, or something to keep myself from being all-kid-all-the-time. But to keep a full-time job and have little kids at home would be like having two full time jobs, and I don’t want to do that if I don’t have to! Even though I’ve got a lot of higher education, I am not on a career path where I would suffer from taking a few years off to raise babies. It’s an option for me to be some kind of SAHM and I will most likely take it happily. I really care about work-life balance and I know with my disposition that trying to do both full time would drive me insane.
Post # 15
No way. I worked too hard and have too many things i want to do in life to just stay home. I want to balance a baby on my lap AND my job. My job allows me so many more things in life…I am not the kind of person who would be fulfilled by taking care of my baby all day. I need more. My mother was a stay at home mom and soon resented it. I just do not have the mindset to do it.
I am an engineer–if you walk away from it, it’s really tough to give it up. You can’t just not be an engineer for a few years and then get back into the field. You lose a lot of technical knowledge and know how. It’s a use it or lose it field. Plus, we both make good money….i want my kids to go to college and by both of us working, that’s how it’ll be possible.
Post # 16
I have absolutely zero desire to be a stay at home mom. In fact, I think FI would rather be a stay at home dad haha. I’m just too much of a “career woman”, I’m currently getting my master’s and pushing for my PhD someday. I just really want to have a full and successful career as well as a family. Plus, I just think I would be bored ;o)
That said, I think it’s fine if that’s what you want to do :o)
Post # 17
I feel very conflicted — on the one hand, I don’t want to be a mom who misses everything because she has to work — and winds up doing nothing well because she’s stretched too thin. On the other, I really like my job and I’m looking forward to developing my career. BUT — If I worked full-time 9-5, basically my whole salary would go towards daycare, so then … what’s the point, even? It’s so hard being a woman in this age, I think, because you’re expected by society to rock at everything you do.
What I’m hoping will happen is that I’ll be able to work from home a few days a week, supplement that with the Grandma Babysitting Agency (my FILs live here and my mother is seriously considering moving once we have kids) and a little bit of daycare.