Post # 1
My friend has a thing for bad boys. You know, the ones with the run-ins with the law, the complex emotional history and the rebellious attitudes. She always says that they are wild and exciting, and nice guys with their heads on straight and their lives in order (the kind I find attractive lol) are too “vanilla” and “boring”. She feels like she needs to protect them somehow, or give them something they’ve never had. However, when it all goes south, her go-to line is always, “I thought he’d change”.
I have to admit, I’ve liked some of her past boyfriends. They’re nice guys deep down, just misguided. But then there were the ones I couldn’t relate to because they were angry all the time and had a rap sheet a mile long.
I’ve always gone after the nice guy, the one I could picture as a good family man. My friend thinks I’m in the minority, that most girls crave the excitement and challenge that comes with being with a bad boy.
So I ask you bees, if you’ve dated, or even married a bad boy tell me your story!
Post # 3
@lavenderstone: I dated the badboy who was CERTAINLY bad. Run in with the law and all kinds of trouble. I got my head smashed into my car dashboard when he got mad once. That was the end of that “cycle”.
They will NEVER change. As exciting as it may be they are bad for a reason. I picked a nice guy and I am about to marry him. WAY better choice!!
Post # 4
Oh yes… and it gave me 5 years of on/off misery. I learned the hard way that you can’t change a person. All good lessons and I don’t regret it per se, but bad boys are not relationship material.
Post # 5
I’ve always gone after the nice guy! Even in high school. I was never attracted to someone I didn’t think would treat me right. My SO is convinced that all girls like the bad boys or the jerks except for me, and I keep telling him that there are others like me!
Post # 6
I understand their appeal, but I’ve never been into the run-in-with-the-law ones, more the drives-a-fast-car-and-wears-a-leather-jacket-and-cuts-class types. 😛 But I’ve always tended to date nicer guys – the bad boys I liked were also terribly charming and flirtatious, which did horrible things to my confidence. 😛
Post # 7
@lavenderstone: Nope I never have been attracted to that sort of behavior. One of my good friends is though and it drives me nuts. She will drive away every good and decent man she meets and chase after the assholes.
She has previously told me that she wants a guy like my FI and I just looked at her and said Mr. Sugar_Biscuit would bore you to death and he would not put up with your drama. Certainly not a match made in heaven!
I think that romantic books and movies perpetuate the idea that you want the mysterious guy who is hard to get.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I married the bad boy when I was 22…and we broke up 6 months later. Now I love my nice guy…who knew getting treated well would be so amazing!
Post # 9
I’ve always found bad guys a major turnoff. My DH is a major nice guy 🙂
Post # 10
I’ve dated “bad boys” but my husband is definitely not one of them. He’s a family man down to his bones and a real sweetheart.
Post # 11
Dated a few bad boys and that always ended badly. I married a sweetheart, a real good guy. <3
My friend, however, is forever falling for the bad boy… On marriage #2 to bad boy #2 and yeah.. Some people never learn.
Post # 12
@lavenderstone: my hubby of 6 years is reformed bad boy !!! He has over 1000 tattoos had a few arrests and well has been in a few scraps lol !!! but that all changed when we met he is family man now and his days of wild partying and fights are long in the past 🙂 he is a semi retired tattoo model 🙂 and owns his landscaping buisiness and goes to church on Sundays and makes pancakes for his girls on Sunday !!! But I must warn he is the exception most wild boys never completely settle down my hubby still very much is rough around the edges but he is very sweet !!! And your friend is right alot of good girls like bad boys idk why I myself wasn’t looking for a bad boy he was my landscaper lol yup honest truth and we became friends and I fell in love with him without even knowing it 🙂 but my story isnt the normal like I said your friend needs to be careful going out and looking for bad boys isn’t really a good idea you don’t know just how deep there issues can go but most guys who look rough and tough are teddy bears well IMO tell you friend to look deep before she jumps into what could be a very bad experience
Post # 13
@lavenderstone: I married one. The class clown, the one with the arrest record, the chain smoking, binge drinking, tattooed guy who’s had more than his fair share of experience with the ladies. He’s actually a really nice guy though!
I never tried to change him. It just fell into place when we got together I guess. Sometimes I think he’s a little too mellow come to think of it.
Post # 14
@lavenderstone: I married one at 21 and am the pround owner of a divorce decree lol. It was exciting and fun at first but once our son was born I realized he wasn’t going to change and I left him and never looked back.
Post # 15
I dated the bad boy after being with the nice guy for over 7 years. Looking back on it now, I realize I was attracted to the drama and chemistry but I was miserable. I was always worried he was or was going to cheat on me and in the end he relapsed on hardcore drugs after years of sobriety and I couldn’t take it anymore. He was the typical bad boy.. covered in tattoos, raced motorcylces, been with hundreds of women, cheating past, etc. It has taken me a very long time to get it over it though because I fell fast and hard for him. Like most women, I felt like I could change him if I loved him enough and vice versa. WRONG!
Post # 16
I did. As a teenager and early twenties. But he was bad, not “bad”. Criminal bad. Violent bad.
Happily married to the good guy and living on the other side of the planet.