Post # 1
I’m Lutheran and every wedding ceremony I’ve been to is pretty much the same. They’re short and sweet, which I like, but with no real “extras.” About 75% do unity candles… but that is about it. I find myself an teeny bit jealous of people who come from cultures that have more tradition surrounding the marriage ceremony. Specifically… I love ketubahs! I love the idea of them and I think they are beautiful. I know that we COULD get one made to fit our beliefs probably but my family would definitely not like it as they would associate it with jewish weddings (which also brings me to the point… anyone think that the chair dancing thing at jewish weddings is way better than most anything else at other weddings? hehe).
I think I’m going to have to spend a lot of time researching some non-denominational type “extras” for the wedding ceremony. Anyone else a little jealous of some tradition you feel you can’t do? Or did you buck tradition and do something outside of your culture anyways?
Post # 3
ME TOO! I would love a more traditional thing to do during the ceremony- like the breaking of the glass – or the ability to do Henna and have that be not weird to my family LOL!
Post # 4
Agreed! I’m Lutheran also and have had similar experiences with the short and sweet wedding ceremony.
Fiance and are having a fairly traditional Lutheran ceremony, but I’m going directly back to the liturgy (from both the green hymnal and the newer burgundy hymnal). I’m supplementing with LOTS of music – that’s about as close to a cultural tradition as we get! We’re also probably going to do some kind of handfasting or additional blessings.
Post # 5
Corgi, have you looked into a Quaker wedding certificate? It’s signed by all of your guests, not just you guys and witnesses, but it seems to have similar wording to a Ketubah. Plus, they’re really beautifully decorated. If you didn’t want all of your guests to sign, you could maybe do that and have your bridal party and family sign it?
And you are right- the hora aka chair dance is awesome, and I feel totally lucky that we get to do it at our wedding because none of my friends have ever seen it before and so I know it will set our wedding apart. 🙂
Post # 6
@Corgi – have you thought of some ways you could incorporate your own culture into your ceremony? By this, I mean things that are important to you, your fiance, your families, friends, etc. You could even make a new tradition. It would still be just as meaningful and beautiful. 🙂
Post # 7
@miss root- you know i have heard of the quaker thing but haven’t researched it much. Maybe I should look into that 🙂
@jduck- my first thought was “my culture? what culture?” lol so sad. I see your point though. i think as the wedding gets closer we’ll need to do a lot of research into different traditions that we can maybe start with our wedding. I think we just have to be careful not to do anything too closely associated with another religion because my family is pretty religious and my aunt (who is a lutheran minister) is marrying us, so we need to be respectful of that.
Post # 8
Ohh me too!! I always thought that I’d like to marry someone Jewish (like Charlotte on SaTC!) and convert for them, because of the cultural and spiritual beliefs and also because of their super-cool wedding traditions. But alas, I’m marrying a Catholic :p
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
I haven’t given too much thought to our ceremony yet. My family is Jewish and the boy’s is Christian, but neither one of us is religious AT ALL. I am an Eastern European mutt and he is Italian and Swiss/German but neither of us are too into our own cultures.
Yet, there are a lot of cultural things that I think are really cool. Like handfasting. Or how Irish couples walk down the aisle together. Or how Jewish couples celbrate yichud by spending a few minutes alone after the ceremony. Etc.
I think that we might incorporate some of those things into our ceremony. Who cares if they don’t come from our religion or culture? It’s our ceremony and if we like it, we can do whatever we want!
Post # 10
I always wanted to break the plates lol! I love that!!! but I definitely will do the yoruban tradition of the tasting of the elements.
Post # 11
We wondered how many disparate wedding traditions we could incorporate. We took tiny little pieces of so many different cultures and tried to integrate them in seamlessly without making it look too out of place… So we had some Jewish tradition, Italian, Irish, and some that we just made up on our own.
I’m still jealous of jumping the broom, though!
Post # 12
We were pretty desperate too. My FI’s family is Jewish (although he and his parents and sibs are not) so I’m REALLY hoping somebody leads the Horrah. Also, I studied abroad in Germany and Fiance has some german heritage, so we’re definitely doing a German Baumstamm Saugen (log sawing) just…well…because. We’re not that cultural, but we borrowed anyway!
Post # 13
I feel you- I am also jealous of Ketubah’s. I was in a Jewish sorority and when someone got married it was like the FIRST thing they did was look at all these beauties.
So in lieu of a Ketubah since I’m not Jewish, we’ll be doing a very pretty “Marriage Contract” in the style of a Ketubah. Since it wouldn’t really be kosher for two gentiles to have a Ketubah.
Post # 14
Okay I’m loving the signing of the marriage contract by all of the guests!! How are y’all going to incorporate it? Perhaps have it at the sign in table with someone (a hostess or whomever) telling them what it will be used for?
Post # 15
I love the Ketubah (and many of the Jewish customs) as well and I am also Lutheran (however, I am beginnings of converting). Many of the Ketubah’s offered online offer various wording and styles that would work in a ceremony. We are using one in our ceremony because we can’t have candles/water/sand in our ceremony site. We decided that we’ll explain it in our programs for our family (in lieu of a unity candle) and we love the fact that we’ll have a beautiful work of art to hang in our home and remember our wedding by.
Post # 16
Ah, yes. I love Indian wedding traditions. The days of parties and the henna and the colors, everything. So beautiful!