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I dont want to sound ungrateful or spoiled but my FI is usually really good with gifts and getting really setimental cards. This is our first VD being engaged and I guess I just expected a little more, instead I got a lot less. I got him a gift certificate for a massage, which we are going to Saturday, im getting one too but paying for my own. He knew this in advance because I had to make appointments. I also got him a really nice card and lots and lots of chocolates. He got me a edible arrangements sent to my work, chocolate covered strawberries 24 of them! what the hell am i going to do with 24 chocolate covered strawberries? I honestly love strawberries but I have been working out every day and eating good so when I get these I am a little disappointed because he knows how hard ive been working not to gain more weight. I am very grateful he even thought of me but I thought when I got home he would at least have a card but nothing. Cards mean a lot to me, I have saved every one since we have been together.
I dont know I am happy that he got me something but could have thought of a lot better things to spend 100+ dollars on. I would rather have had that money go towards our wedding then strawberries! eh I really am grateful to have a wonderful man in my life, I just needed to vent!
I know people are going to not like what I have to say but please im not trying to get opinions im just venting about how I feel since I dont want to say this to the FI.
This is our first V-Day engaged and we didn't do gifts at all.
I think the edible arrangement is sweat, and it certainly means he thinks you are beautiful the way you are. If you are that worried about the calories, peel off the chocolate. The strawberries are usually amazing in those things.
Vent away and get it out of your system, and then enjoy a strawberry (or 5).
I'm not trying to be snarky or bitchy, but this is why I hate Valentine's Day. Women expect way too much on a commercialized holiday. He loves you. There should not be a designated day which [almost] EVERYONE celebrates. It's the thoughts that count. I really do feel bad for the men.
Know what you mean. It was our first Vday as a married couple. I got grocery store roses (you know, the kind where all the pedals are already falling off and brown) in a color I don't like, stuck in one of our drinking glasses and a bag of hugs candy. I spent almost $100 on super amazing new lingerie (like a whole outfit kind of thing, cute bra, panties, pearls, thigh highs and these super hot shoes ) that I thought he would love, got a new haircut (that he never noticed) made chocolate covered strawberries AND bought his favorite candy. To the outfit I was very pleased with, I simply got "You're overdressed for dinner" which was at Chilis. Instead of the fun evening I had planned (candles, strawberries and all that fun) I am sitting in fuzzy PJ pants eatting pudding. Valentines Day sucks.
Oh I would also like to say he so kindly told me he had forgotten totally and got this stuff on the way home for work. I had been planning for like a week, yet when HE wants to go shooting, he will move heaven and earth to get everything he wants together.
i wont say what im thinking because you know what people are going to say but vent away and try to take a breath - he did a really nice thing for you, try to celebrate that
@Leonard2B: Men sometimes, I swear they don't think. God love them, we love them anyway.
I think sometimes men just aren't sure what to do because they feel so much pressure on them for Valentine's Day. We women, a lot of times, have exact ideas of how we would like our guys to act and then when they don't do that, we get upset..but let's try to just appreciate their thoughts and teach them what wlll knock our socks off for next time!
I understand that he did a VERY nice thing for me and like I said im not trying to sound ungrateful. I would rather have had a card, then waste money on $100 of strawberries! I wasnt looking for anything more than that, just saying he could have saved a lot of money.
I dont feel bad for him, he is getting a massage and got massive amounts of chocolates that he loves, he got what he wanted and I didnt waste 100 of something that will rot in the fridge.
@MissPumpkinPie: I agree. This is why I never cared for it. I dont want my guy to just go out and waste any amount of money on flowers that will die, chocolate I cant/dont want to finish, or small piece of jewelery I dont really want/need/like just cause he feels like he has to do something.
We didn't get any gifts for each other for valentines day. I made him a nice dinner and got him a card but he wasn't able to get anything for me because he was working all day (I didn't have to work today). I didn't mind at all and actually felt like I should do something nice for him. He does so much for me every other day of the year and valentines is really just another day.
I think that the thought of your FI's gift was sweet. Every couple is different though and only you can gauge the sentiment/importance of his gift.
If you need to vent, we are here to listen
@Leonard2B: I think you should feel bad for your husband because the material things you bought him can't make up for how he must feel over your dissapointment. You had an idea in your head of what you wanted, he went above that (granted in the wrong direction) & now you're upset. That is the worst result he could have ended up with: overspending & getting an angry fiance in return...
Communicate what you want/expect next time.
I can't wait for this wretched entitled "holiday" to END already... It seems like all people have done today is complain about gifts given out of love.
Well you did get him "lots and lots of chocolates" so other than the card seems pretty equal.
Technically this is our second valentines together as FI proposed on Feblastly 13th last year!!!! He just couldn't wait another day to ask! Anyway we decided not to do anything this year as we have the wedding coming up in April and we are on opposite work schedules this year and trying to save money. We got take out ate dinner together and that's it, and it was great to just spend some down time together! So enjoy your fruit, just being together should be plenty!!!! As a friend of mine said "valentines day is for amateurs, all the other days are for the professionals" :)
@FutureMrsRugbee: I came on this site to vent, I have not and will not tell him I am disappointed in his gift, i did mention that in the post. I laughed with him about trying to get me fat but would not tell him that he disappointed me. I would never hurt him like that. I came here to vent instead of upsetting him.
I thought the point of these boards was to be able to have a place to vent when you were feeling upset. Yes I know how I am feeling is wrong and im not ungrateful for what he got me, I am happy he got me anything at all, I did say I would have been happy with a card, I dont expect anything at all and I only got him the things I did because I know he would love them and he did. I know guys dont think the same way we do. This is just the first time in the 3 years we have been together that he didnt even get me a nice card. It was just disappointing.
@vmec: I also got him a gift certificate for a massage that we are going to get on Saturday together. And gave him lots and lots of chocolates with his card this morning.
Whats with the complaining today? My husband got me beef jerky, and I love it. I love everything that man gets me.
Instead of focusing on the bad, and on what you were expecting and wanting, why not be grateful for what you did get, and what you have.
I totally get your issue. For all those that think vday is just absurd, etc, (not saying its not) but keep in mind it's not really about that as it's about what is important to you ( could be vday could be respecting that you eat vegan, or whatever). If a card is important on vday, your guy should get one. That being said, he def tried, just misaimed! Since he is usually really good, I'd make a joke about it with the " hint hint not next year" tone....
@Future Mrs K: "valentines day is for amateurs, all the other days are for the professionals"
I love that!! 
@mrsesq: Yes its about knowing whats important to me, eating 24 chocolate covered strawberries is not what I need right now lol I did joke around and say no more chocolate gifts this year or at least not until after the wedding!
My poor guy called Jamaica tryign to find me ranunculus..the flowers that I decided I liked after meeting him and of course there were none! I really do not like flowers or chocolate and so I am getting a necklace instead lol
Think that your Fi got you something and while you are disappointed, relish the thought that so many other women out there would "die" for someone in their lives, their bed, their future- so you do have it good! That is the positive side!
I would tell him how you feel. If you just want a nice card he would likely be very happy to give you one.
aww...I would love your gift from your FI!! I wasn't expecting anything from my DH and he came home with 3 roses, a carton of strawberries and a box of cookies...I was super excited it makes me so happy! I don't need my DH to spend X amount on me to make me happy. We are together, we are healthy and have a good marriage, a baby on the way...that's all that matters. So many people get caught up on things that are so irrelevant and take things for granted. Enjoy what you do have and respect the thought your FI put into your gift! So sweet of him :)
Maybe he's trying to watch his weight too and doesn't want your chocolates either!
No but really, I'm always just happy that my man made an effort. Even if sometimes he doesn't get it exactly right down to every little detail that I had in my head, I still love that he thought of me and got me something that he thought would make me feel special and happy. That's all your guy was trying to do for you, make you smile. Am I crazy for being happy that they just TRY?
Wow. I told my FI that I would rather have him take out the trash today for me than get me flowers cause he was super busy at the hospital...My dad did get me some flowers, though:)
We usually do a very low key V-day. My b-day was last week so I always feel guilty making him spend money on something silly so soon after my birthday.
I wish I was able to reword this post. People are taking it that im ungrateful for what he got me and im not. I am very appreciative of everything he does for me. I love him, why else would I be marrying him. I was just let down that he got me something that he knows that I cant really enjoy, it was lik ehe didnt think much about it but at the same time I am happy he got me anything at all. And in no way did I ever say he has to spend a lot of money on me. I dont want him to thats kind of why im disappointed in the strawberries. I wish he didnt spend that much on them.
I have to agree with MissPumpkinPie here, seriously this day is just a silly hallmark greeting card day. I don't get all the bitter people who didn't get anything or something they want....
I completely understand OP. I think Valentine's day is an awesome opportunity to show your loved one just how much they mean to you. Yes, we all should do this every day. But life happens. And, in my experience, men are especially prone to getting settled in a routine. Valentines day is a kick in the pants for a lot of men. It's a challenge to stop being on autopilot and seriously think about what would make your SO's day. I completely understand feeling upset over a gift that seems thoughtless. It makes you feel not listened to. It makes you feel like it lacks effort. Valentine's day, to me, is an opportunity to go above and beyond for the person you love. It's ONE day when you are reminded to do those romantic and thoughtful things that fall by the wayside during the other parts of the year. If you have a man who does these things all the time, good for you. But Valentines Day for many women is the only time they get to go out to a romantic dinner or get a thoughtful gift. It does hurt a bit when you hope that THIS is the day that the person you're with will go the extra mile by taking time to think about what you would like most and they fall short. Not everyone has nice things done for them every day.
He just got me some yellow and red roses, a card and some reeses pieces. I don't care that much about Valentine's Day though. He shows his appreciation for me every day and buys me flowers and gifts on normal days when he feels like it.
Same here!!! Totally gonna sound like a *itch but I hated my gift,cheap 99.cent teddy bear and a single rose n a crappy little vase:/ but than again I know were saving every penny for the wedding so at least I got something,oh n he knows I hated it I'm transparent like tht..he didnt mind at all,he actually laughed n apologized.LOL
I totally agree with ur post.lol I don't want to sound selfish but today I thought he would put more effort .lol but my FI is so not the romantic type at all.
I bought my FI a fishing pole, worms and hooks as well as a lure that he can use the go fishing with tomorrow. Bought him a pocket t as they are his fav and 2 pair of fishing related boxers.
He bought me a tea from McDonalds as that is what I asked for. I bought myself 2 pair of jeans, 2 tshirts, a tank top and a purse that I liked. I also took us out and we had breakfast for dinner. A friend that we haven't seen in a while walked into the diner and he sat with us and we all chatted for about an hour.
Came home, and he went to bed, and I am typing this.
It isn't about who bought what for who, it is about the love shared between 2 people. As my friend says, today is a day of love, birthdays and anniversaries are for gifts. I agree, but I tend to purchase things just for the hell of it anyway.
I am so glad he didn't bring me flowers with my tea as I HATE flowers. All they do is die anyway. Wedding in 40 days... yahoo
OP don't feel bad for posting this just as you posted it!!! I honestly find the passive aggressive and or judgemental comments people post on other people's posts kind of ridiculous on this web sight (and no, just because someone says they are being "honest" doesn't mean they should post on every topic they don't like).
You have the right to feel however you feel and should be able to vent on the freaking weddingbee in peace!
I totally understand your need to vent. And that you are thankful he didn't just forget you. I'm pretty sure I'd have gotten nothing if we hadn't been chatting online and he figured out why I was running to the store. He kept grilling me. So I got 4 roses and a mini cupcake from the grocery store like one of the poster's above. It is NOT about the amount that was spent. To me it is that I feel he doesn't listen to me or take my preferences into consideration.
I'd been telling him there was an inexpensive silver ring I really wanted. And he knows I love cookbooks or perfume. He does know my taste but come gift giving time he just forgets. My birthday passed without a gift at all. And his whole family and him have told me about how he'd book bed and breakfast room with massages for his ex and him. My tastes are much less expensive.
He knows I'm dieting....he gets me cake. I just can't figure it out. I got him something he'd been wanting. A picture of US in a pretty frame....two actually one for his house and one for his office. To me in is showing thought and preference was involved not just grabbing SOMETHING. And it hurts me to know he'd have skipped this silly holiday if he hadn't thought I was getting him something.
If you want a card, tell him you want a card for every event. If you want to be his hero, tell him for your anniversary you want 80 valentines cards, birthday cards, happy anniversary, happy new year, whatever is important. Maybe 10 "sorry for your loss" and 20 "get well soon." then he can give them to you for the rest of your lives.
I hate cards.
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