(Closed) Anyone else a seminary student/pastor’s wife or fiance?

posted 9 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am right there with you. I am engaged to a great guy who is finishing his first year at seminary and I have the same fears that you expressed. I grew up in the church and I know the fishbowl that the pastor and his family live in. I also am in professional school and I have huge amounts of student loan debt and I am terrified that I am going to be working myself to death to take care of both of us. I am worried about having a family because I don’t want to uproot kids everytime he gets a new calling to a church. I also worry about my own career as it is not the type that is very successful if you move every few years.

I know that when we are together that we are great but I still worry about all the other things coming between us. 

Post # 4
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Latte Love, I’m soooooo excited that you started this thread!  My FI is a youth pastor and part-time seminary student (he has his BACMIN, and is working on his MDIV).  He searched for a full-time position at a church for over a year after he got his bachelors. Initialy the reason he couldn’t find a church, was that no one wanted a single youth minister (I’m graduating in May, and we knew we wouldn’t get married before I finished school). In the end, I know that it was just because God was lining up the perfect church for him…despite the fact that it required him to move 400 miles away.

I can definitely identify with y’alls fears about uncertainty with the future…moving, jobs, money, family.  I guess that we have a little more stability in that my fiance has a church he will be serving for the foreseeable future (at least this is the direction we both felt to be lead in). But, we all know that God can call him to minister somewhere else at any moment. What specific areas do your fiances want to focus their ministry?

Post # 5
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Mine is getting his MDIV with a concentration in youth ministry. However he is leaning more and more towards being a regular pastor. He has talked about working on his doctorate after he has worked for a few years just because he has a few things that he would really like to research and commit himself to learning more about etc.

There are variabilities but I read an article that said most pastors serve a church usually for 4-7 years on average before they move to serve else where.  And the average youth minister stays 3-5 years. I know that these are stats and we all know of a pastor who has been in the same church for the last 30 years but I also know of many who have stayed at churches for less than two years then left for various reasons. The whole thought of being so transient terrifies me. Do you worry about the affect that moving will have on your family.

Post # 6
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh and Latte, I meant to add that yes mine did do the mind change thing too. And it really did scare and confuse me.

Post # 7
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I got married just after graduating from seminary and being ordained–I think kleverkira is in a similar position, not sure if she is still around…

Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My FI is a Biblical Studies major hoping to be a youth pastor!  He originally wanted to be an engineer, sounds nice right?  A stable job, good income.  But he knew that he was called to be a pastor and we both know that we would rather him have a job that he loves than one he dreads going to.  I too, am worried about income and stability and things like that, but I think that God obviously has a better plan.  We’ll see.  So cool to find other girls in the same situation!

Post # 9
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We have all mentioned what our fiances do but what career plans are in the works for the pastor’s wife-to-be.

I am currently in Vet school and plan on working in a Mixed (large/small animal) practice.

Post # 10
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oooh, laural, your statement about being in a profession that doesn’t really agree with moving frequently makes more sense now. I am in nursing school.  I plan on graduating in May with my BSN.  I want to work in Labor and Delivery/mother-baby/antepartum. 

Post # 11
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Paigee – Yeah, my career is not really mobile πŸ™ And for the specialty I am interested in it requires lots of weekend working and a possible eradic schedule. I could possibly be the pastor’s wife that cannot quite make it to Sunday services.

But congrats on your graduation! My sister graduated from LSU school of Nursing and works in the NICU. Because of her husbands career, they have had to move several times and she has always been able to find great jobs in her specialty. I just noticed that we are both LA girls so odds are that we probably know some of the same people πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Laural-Thanks!  I go to SLU though, but I’m still in BR alot, so I’m sure we still know some of the same people.  My Fi and I have had the talk about not always being able to come to services. Because he’s working with youth, sometimes the priority isn’t really the Sunday morning…we’d rather me be available for some of the Wednesday/Friday/Saturday nights than every single Sunday.  People are in the hospital 24-hours a day, 7 days a week (pretty much the same time that people need ministers too), so that doesn’t always fit in nice and neat with the church services. I guess the good thing about working in healthcare is that I’ll always have a job (especially with the nursing shortage)….that’s one thing that helps to alleviate our concerns about money.  What specialty do you want to work in?

Post # 14
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Paigee: Haha too funny! I went to LSU for my undergrad! I loved living in BR!  I seriously miss Tsunami’s, Cane’s, and Melting Pot! Mmmmmm πŸ™‚

I want to work in emergency veterinary medicing within a mixed practice with a focus on production animal (aka: your cow has dystocia at 3 in the morning on a Saturday night so you call me. And it is raining – it always rains when ever you have to go to someone’s farm in the middle of the night lol!)

LatteLove: Oh I love California! What area are you moving to? Be careful what you wish for on the finding any job possible though, in undergrad I worked on a pig farm with a girl who had her masters in HR! Let’s just say that job was not her ideal situation. But she made the best of it and was actually really really good with the pigs! πŸ™‚

Foreign missions does sound interesting. Have you ever worked with IMB or NAMB? 

Post # 15
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

LatteLove, my FI is planning on moving into an associate role down the road…teenagers don’t really communicate all that well with 50 year olds. For right now, and until he feels God leading otherwise, his focus is youth.  Are you and your FI long distance?  If so, we have something else in common.  Who knows where we will end up… I know that you’ll be able to find a job; you just have to have faith. Trust me I’m telling myself this too. I’m applying for jobs in TN now too, so I’m nervous about finding the right job.

Laural, I ate at Cane’s today (sorry, not trying to rub it in ).  

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