Post # 1
FI is going to be the end of me someday, he knows that I’ll likely die well before him because he always has something for me to deal with!
Just 20 minutes ago I got the text “is there warranty on my laptop? when did you buy it?” and knowing he clearly somehow broke the computer I had to call him and put myself under even more stress now that school has started again. Apparently he slipped on the step and his laptop smacked up against the icy stairs leaving a small crack in the screen just below the webcam… it isn’t that bad but it is bad enough to stress me out as we can’t afford to fix it. I had also just given that $800 computer to him for Christmas!
Then last week as I was stressing about getting the bill money together he then called to inform me his shifts are being cut at work since the holidays are over… to just over half of what he needs… so now the resume printing fest began on top of my school preparations!
Just before Christmas he was playing with a Nintendo DS stylus in his ear and shoved some wax too far in and went temporarily deaf in the one ear – just before we had to go to my mom’s for friggen dinner! We spent 2 hours in emerge because luckily not a lot of people were in that day…
Before that I had gotten some extra cash so purchased a frozen pizza (big treat for us) and some alcohol to have a nice night to ourselves… the day I go to make it I found out that he and his friend seen it in the freezer and at it (and drank the alcohol) themselves!
Is it just me or do other people go through crazy stuff like this? Everytime I start to get less stress FI does something to add the stress back on! When I am stressed to the max I don’t even want to look at my phone because I know he is going to send me some crazy thing stating how something is yet again screwed up! I don’t even seem to react anymore, FI will tell me something stressful and I just seem to have it absorb into me – he has commented on how I don’t seem THAT stressed afterwards but really I am about to have a stroke or something!
Post # 3
That sucks! My FI does stuff to annoy me all the time!
Maybe not going to his rescue with help relieve the stress a little bit? I know I got to the point when I was enough is enough… My FI is an adult… If he breaks something he can fix it kinda thing… That way unless it immediately right in this second effects me I don’t have to let it stress me out
Post # 4
That sounds like having an inconsiderate teenager rather than a future spouse.
Post # 5
@Makemeamrs: The problem is that he RARELY does anything that does not somehow affect me. The laptop for example: I got him that so he would stop stealing mine and using it so much, but if his breaks and is useless I wasted that money and he starts using mine all over again. If he went and snapped his favoutire video disk in 2 I wouldn’t stress at all, because really it doesn’t impact anyone but him… but he would be the one to snap my favourite movie disk or something on accident…
@atacrossroads: The thing is that he never intentionally does it and always feels bad and does his best to make it up to me. He is just so thoughtless sometimes about things and doesn’t always forsee the potential consequences if something happens. He sees his laptop as “Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to put up with it.” But I see it as that now there is a small crack and the screen is more fragile to be cracked further and completely render the computer useless!
Post # 6
Awwww I felt so sad when I read the pizza coment 🙁
Post # 7
my FI does not stress me out, he relieves my stress by handling what I cannot.
Post # 8
I would let him start experiencing the consequences then…. Hide your laptop… Make him find the money to fix his own…. If you stop cleaning up and fixing his mistakes then he will eventually learn to be an adult…. If you keep coddling him he will end up driving you bonkers!
Post # 9
First off, replacing the screen on a laptop is cheap if you can do it yourself. I just asked my husband how much it cost for him to replace my screen last year and he thought it was $30-50. I think you can follow step-by-step instructions and it’s not too hard. If it’s just a small crack, the screen probably won’t have to be replaced at all.
Beyond that, he sounds kind of clueless and immature. I’m assuming you’re both adults — you aren’t responsible for him, you’re not his mother or his babysitter.
Post # 10
+1 to the PP who say the SO sounds pretty immature. I’d expect an 8-year-old to shove a Nintendo stylus in his ear, not a full-grown man. It sounds like he’s kind of clueless and used to other people (you now; probably his mom before that) fixing things for him. Let him solve his own problems for a while; either he’ll grow up, or you’ll discover you’ve got a man-child on your hands. And some women actually like that. Really there’s nothing wrong with being the “fixer” in a relationship, so long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.
Post # 11
I agree with the PP, let him worry about HIS mistakes and quit stressing yourself out. He is an adult, he broke HIS laptop HE can pay for repairing it and not use yours. You need a back bone and start putting your foot down on stuff. Quit acting like his mother and let him figure stuff out on his own
Post # 12
I’m not saying that I coddle him and make it all better… he has to live with his laptop being broken! Right now we’ve practically combined finances and are trying to pay for a wedding so I’m not going to tell him to pay to fix it… he has to use it until it is finally broken and if we have the money then he can get it fixed. To me coddling him would taking my own money out to pay to get it fixed, it is just stressful that he had to be carrying it when he fell.
You can be assured in any of the above situations there was no coddling involved… at all. There was really nothing I could do to make a single thing better. I can’t just ignore anything that happens to him and say “it isn’t my problem” because no matter what it’ll somehow affect me. If his hours get cut and I am trying to prepare for school – I can’t just ignore it because his income directly affects me as well. If he goes half deaf a few hours before a big dinner I’d be stuck going alone if I didn’t make sure he huried at the emerge.
This was more just a thread to see if anyone else always seems to have something coming up!
@VivienMarcheline: If only you had seen the look on my face when I open the freezer to find no pizza or alcohol in there! I was beside myself as I hyped myself up all afternoon for that pizza!
Post # 13
Yikes! Is he 10?
I don’t think I could deal with such immaturity and inconsideration.
Post # 14
Wow, am I ever feeling fortunate right now. My Dh is the most resourceful person I know. He’s a problem solver by nature. He makes my life much less stressful, not more so.
I don’t think I could handle the never ending traumas.
Post # 15
Im sorry he really does sound like a child. Some things he can’t help like his hours being but, but wtf the stick in his ear?
Also, if the beer and pizza are big treats for you guys I don’t understand his thought process when he found them in the fridge. It’s not like it appeared out of thing air, why would he think he should have it all with his friend?
Post # 16
I know what you mean! There have been times where FI knows I was stressed and it was almost like he was screwing up just to mess with me. I had a job interview once and got the call that he was in emerge with a broken wrist! I was like seriously, of all days to break a wrist? He wasn’t even doing anything important, he tripped over the kitchen chair leg and landed on it very wrong…
I do disagree with many of the above posters. It really just sounds like he has shitty luck, not that he is an immature child!
He maybe should focus on being more careful and cautious as well as picking the right time to reveal things to you. For ex. he shouldn’t call and tell you his shifts are cut when he knows you are getting ready to go back to school. He should’ve first looked around and then told you when he may have a solution ready.
PS. When I was younger I was very guilty of sticking those things in my ear – excellent scratchers for that itch you just can’t scratch! If I still owned one I’d probably have done the same by now!