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I can't believe the things some people say when it comes to another person's wedding. Rude statements that most people wouldn't make in casual conversation are blurted out to brides who are trying to create their perfect wedding day!
I say it's your wedding and you should do it the way you want. Unfortunately a lot of people seem to think it's the other way around -- it's your wedding day and you should do what everyone ELSE wants.
It's amazing that you're able to make your day beautiful by creating so many of your wedding details by hand! My hat goes off to you!! Not only will you save money, but you'll also ensure that your details came out just the way you want them to. And in the end, all that matters is that your wedding is as amazing as YOU'VE always wanted it to be. :)
unfortunately i was one of those evil people who were rude to others eons and weddings ago complaining about oh my gosh she had fake flowers or are those invites so cheap looking or some other stupid thing like that. However, i too have now caught the DIY fever because lets face it girls....we're getting married in a depression era! we need to DIY whatever we can to save money and screw it, someone will ALWAYS complain or be rude at your wedding or to your family...you cannot make everyone happy and its YOURs and your FI'S day not theirs! do it how you want to do it! Be happy and stick to what you want to do your way!
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my personal opinion (if you really want me to share it) is that the people who are being rude about how you're preparing your wedding are rude and not good friends. there's a way to question something in a friend way... and there's nothing wrong with that. but for people to sit there and criticize it to your face, or your families, are rude and shouldn't be considered friends. i don't know, maybe this is why i don't get very close to many other girls, but i feel that a friend shouldn't criticize you but rather encourage you to save money. especially if they know your financial status (or take a second to think about the economy... why spend when we can save?) i've had some girlfriends even tell me that they don't need an invite and yada yada.. just to save me money. of course i think that's not necessary, they are guests. and with attitudes like that, they should be! and they are also going to be helping me make the invites, so of course they should be invited!!
if it's a complete stranger who is criticizing... and not a friend or wedding guest... i don't know if it's necessary to tell them ALL the details. you can't make everyone happy (and really shouldn't want to in regards to your wedding.. it's about you and your FI!). i know it's hard... but i've noticed that the more details i disclose, the more likely i am to hear something that critical.
i hope this helps. don't let your spirit get down! you should be getting extra credit for making it all yourself, but unfortunately some people don't see it that way. but no matter what people say, it's your wedding (ok, and your fi's lol) and you'll be the one reaping the benefits and compliments from everyone the day of. :)
I agree with mixingmommy: either people who love you and can admire your craftiness will appreciate your DIY items, people who are rude and judgemental will think you're cheap. Weddings are about blowing the bank, after all!
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Beforehand, I was only chatting with my friends (& WB of course) about everything I was doing by hand. Mr. Lemon thought I was insane at the start, but then it became kind of a brag. When we sent out our invites, people asked who we bought them from. At the reception, they asked who did our flowers. At the rehearsal dinner, people were trading Jones soda bottles for whichever one they wanted to hold onto. In the end, DIY was more of a showstopper than a whispered topic... so don't worry about it at all!
I dealt with this through the entire wedding planning process. I just learned to ignore the comments -- and the word "tacky". And I was right! In the end they all loved my wedding and "could not believe" that I'd done it myself! You go girl!!!
Most people, including Mr. CC and my family look at me like I'm crazy when I talk about all my projects. But it's so worth it!
I agree....this is YOUR wedding and you should have what you want. Other people's opinions are not important. I haev actually caught a few bits of this myself...only slightly different. I actually got a lot of flack for wanting to use real flowers.....when everyone thought I should use fake flowers. Also, we are getting quite a bit of astonishment that we are not getting married in a church...mostly from his Catholic family----we are haing the wedding outdoors.
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YES! Boy have i gotten flak. . . . and raised-eyebrows. Like "OMG, your not spending $500 on you cake!!!!" Why no, i'm not. I completely agree with you all. . . the DIY stuff comes out the best becasue you put your own personal spin on it, it's unique, beautiful and cheaper. So just ignore the haters and laugh at them when they are speechless from the beauty of your creations. :D
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It's so embarassing, but I totally had a snob moment at a friend's wedding where I whispered to my sister, "Fake flowers? Rly?" I would have never said anything to the bride about her frugality, but I'm mortified that I even thought it back then.
I'm doing all our flowers and I'm planning on doing our invites, programs, etc. But I'm actually finding it hard to tell the FMIL exactly how frugal I'm planning on being because I'm afraid I'll look cheap instead of frugal (there's a difference! ^_^). I'm embarassed to say "yay paper flowers!" to her for some reason and my wish to have homemade pies instead of cake? Well, I'm waiting to divulge that a bit later. ^_^
Courage, DIY brides! You all rock!
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Same here!! I have gotten that reaction more than once myself.. I have to say a major portion of the eyebrow raising has ben MY family, as for FIs family his mom and fam are all onboard with DIY :-)... my MOH has been the hardest to "please", so to speak but I just smile and go about my crafty ways.. :-)
I also got flak for my DIY stuff! I did my DIY stuff all by myself - never asked my family for any help at all. I told my mom about my DIY projects in casual conversation and about a week later she was super snarky and saying things like, "That's my daughter, the BRIDEZILLA. She's making everything because her wedding has to be PERFECT!" Um...how am I being a bridezilla by sitting quietly by myself and making crafts? And what the heck is wrong with wanting a nice wedding?!
I'm one of the few [blessed] peopel NOT receiving flak for DIY. I am dutch (which means my family is very frugal), and I have lots of talented relatives helping me DIY flowers, invitations/stationery, decorations, veil, candy buffet, etc and they all think my ideas are so creative and fun. (although I do hear a little bit along the lines of, "you're taking on another project!! take it easy!")
I'm sorry you're hearing negative things about your DIY. I think DIY brides are great, because they're recourceful, creative and invest themselves in their wedding to make it really personal and special!
I think some people react that way more becasue they are SHOCKED i know what DIY stands for rather than my willingnes to undertake the projects :)
I'm sorry people are giving you that type of reaction. I would try to let it go. They might just be jealous of your ability to save money and make stuff yourself. Some people just can't accomplish what you have.
The important thing to remember is that you are doing what you think is reasonable to make your wedding day special to you.
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Like contrarymary and spinningjenny, I have also been that person who commented on fake flowers (though not to the bride's face, eek!) and am now totally ashamed of myself! I like flowers a lot so I'll be DIYing with real ones from my mom and aunt's gardens, and buying what I have to to fill in the gaps. I plan to spend less than $200 too. We are getting lots and lots of shock that we're doing our own food but we'll have less than 50 people and have cooked for that many before, I think we can handle it. And by we, I mostly mean my fiance.
Snmcdowell, my mother does the exact same thing! I have an organized task list of DIY projects, and have been steadily plunking them out. Instead of encouragement, I get snarky comments and her saying things like, "We've got to get moving if everything is going to get done." She'll come in, see what I'm doing, then find something to criticize. I'm not a Bridezilla, I just want my day to be fun and pretty, and I think I can save money by doing some things myself!
I've gotten a bit of flak for the DIYing, but my fake flowers look GOOD, i'm in LOVE with my handmade invites, and hello, people, there is a RECESSION going on--i'm cutting out all the cost i can.
This is interesting, as I have been recieving the oppostite reaction, re: you're NOT doing your invitations etc...I am an avid scrapbooker and card maker and make almost all the cards I give for birthdays, weddings etc...so people have been constantly asking me if I'm making my own invitations and STDs. When we first started talking about marriage the last thing I wanted to do was deal with the stress and time that it takes to make invitations but now I'm worried people will be expecting that!
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It's so great to hear so many people are doing their own thing! I agree, there is a line between it LOOKING cheap and it being cheap, LoL. Nice to see so many crafty brides out there! Maybe my fellow bride friends in real life are maybe not crafty so it never entered their head to not shell out a ton of dough for stuff. And it's nice to see some people out there acknowledge there's a recession! How silly would we feel spending a ton of money and then losing our jobs? Yikes, I'd feel foolish. My parents didn't exactly hand us 30K like some of my friends, so I'm on my own and that means MY money...and it's so hard to part with, especially when it's your own, no? haha. I think I will create a post of DIY stuff so we can share all our DIY pics! To be continued =]
Just ignore them girls! You should be incredibly proud of how much you're doing and how sensible you're being. People who are like that, who would say those things, can never be made happy anyways. Onwards!!! :)
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I'm really impressed by the amount of work everyone here is putting into their weddings. As I'm researching it's becoming clear that some things will have to be DIY if I want to save money and still be fabulous. Since I'm still waiting on the ring before I start planning, I haven't gotten any negative feedback yet, but I'm sure I will. I have one friend in particular who's engaged who is spending SO much on everything and I can't make sense of it. I'm sure the comments will be coming from her! At the end of the day, I think whatever makes you happy for your wedding is great - DIY or otherwise. 
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I think it's awesome you're embarking on a lot of these projects. I think it's a great way to truly get yourself involved into the event of your lifetime. To be able to look at your pictures and say "Yup, I did that... and I made that.. and I came up with this idea.." will be so much fun, and it'll make for a great story for future generations.
I still brag about my mom and her DIY wedding genius, and her wedding day was 35 years ago!
My FI started to get annoyed with all of my DIY projects.... until he got HOOKED on having water bottles with personalized labels and I showed him how much it would cost to BUY the labels already personalized. (175!!). I bought 125 full sheet labels for 14.99 and have used 1/2 a printer cartridge... now he is on board!
Luckily all of my BM's are on board and are more than happy to help me cut paper and tape and glue for hours! Yay! One of my BM's has even taken it upon herself to thread silk ribbon around the edge of every one of my 100 program fans! I love my BP!
I do get flak about some of the DIY Projects that are on my ever-growing list. I think it's the flowers that throw people off the most. I personally love all things beautiful - real or fake. (Just so you get the idea, Fall wedding, Fall colors: oranges, chocolates, harvest yellows, creams - and a touch of red. ) It's what I want, it's what I'm doing and IT WILL BE BEAUTIFUL. **I love the bonus that we can DIY them ahead and not have to deal with wilting and bruising etc. I decided to DIY my invites because I'm super-picky and couldn't find what I wanted.
I know that people will see everything come together and the reaction will be "Wow, you did this??" and not "Oh. You're doing THAT??"
You guys be sure to share your projects (and the ones that flop). YOU are my best inspiration!
Although nobody has come out and said it, whenever I mention my DIY projects to my FI's parents I get that "raised eyebrow look" with one of those heartless "Wows." It sucks that they have this reaction because they have seen several of my DIY projects including scrapbooks & christmas centerpeices that they seemed to genuinelly like, but oh well, my DIY projects are going to look awesome!
I personally stoped mentioning my DIY projects, because for the most part his family nor mine really get the whole idea of budget friendly and getting what you want by doing it yourself. So I have just decided for them to see it the day of and just be amazed at my wonderfulness :)
I think it shocking that people would be condescending when you're putting so much of YOURSELF into your wedding..and isn't that what it's all about? It's not that you're being cheap! It's that you're creative and have the ability.
Coming from someone without a crafty bone in her body, I'll tell you that some of us are jealous that there are chicks out there that make their wedding look amazing with their own two hands and ingenuity. :o)
I totally agree! I just created my own "DIY" Wedding Cake!
It cost me $15.00...instead of $500 for a cake.
I posted photos of it on my blog: http://peachesbyplums.wordpress.com/2009/03/02/wedding-cake-diy-style/
while i don't really call it flak, it is far from encouragement. a lot of the DIY projects i've shown my mom and one BM (i think her taste and mine are just different) receive comments that are supposed to be constructive... but ceases to be so when that's all you hear. my mother will say "oh..... that's ok" which makes me wonder if she just doesn't know how to give a compliment because one time my dad came to me and said "your mother said your invites were very nice" 
. that was news to me. hopefully her comments to my other projects were along the same lines.
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Beekeeper
So I'm kinda curious. People can't BELIEVE I made my own tiara, bought my veil on ebay, am serving sheet cake, went with fake flowers, etc etc. The list goes on! And I'm VERY crafty so it's not like things look shoddy, you know? Seriously, we don't have $500 for cake or $1000 for flowers and whatnot. My fake flowers were only $200! So I just want to know if anybody else is catching flak for not shelling out a ton of cash for the more traditional wedding items. I'm tired of the Oh You're NOT having real flowers? OMG reaction. Ha! Thanks.