(Closed) Anyone else annoyed with DIY flak?

posted 9 years ago in DIY
Post # 3
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I can’t believe the things some people say when it comes to another person’s wedding. Rude statements that most people wouldn’t make in casual conversation are blurted out to brides who are trying to create their perfect wedding day!

I say it’s your wedding and you should do it the way you want. Unfortunately a lot of people seem to think it’s the other way around — it’s your wedding day and you should do what everyone ELSE wants.

It’s amazing that you’re able to make your day beautiful by creating so many of your wedding details by hand! My hat goes off to you!! Not only will you save money, but you’ll also ensure that your details came out just the way you want them to. And in the end, all that matters is that your wedding is as amazing as YOU’VE always wanted it to be. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 4
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

unfortunately i was one of those evil people who were rude to others eons and weddings ago complaining about oh my gosh she had fake flowers or are those invites so cheap looking or some other stupid thing like that.  However, i too have now caught the DIY fever because lets face it girls….we’re getting married in a depression era! we need to DIY whatever we can to save money and screw it, someone will ALWAYS complain or be rude at your wedding or to your family…you cannot make everyone happy and its YOURs and your FI’S day not theirs! do it how you want to do it! Be happy and stick to what you want to do your way!

Post # 5
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

my personal opinion (if you really want me to share it) is that the people who are being rude about how you’re preparing your wedding are rude and not good friends. there’s a way to question something in a friend way… and there’s nothing wrong with that. but for people to sit there and criticize it to your face, or your families, are rude and shouldn’t be considered friends. i don’t know, maybe this is why i don’t get very close to many other girls, but i feel that a friend shouldn’t criticize you but rather encourage you to save money. especially if they know your financial status (or take a second to think about the economy… why spend when we can save?) i’ve had some girlfriends even tell me that they don’t need an invite and yada yada.. just to save me money. of course i think that’s not necessary, they are guests. and with attitudes like that, they should be! and they are also going to be helping me make the invites, so of course they should be invited!! 

if it’s a complete stranger who is criticizing… and not a friend or wedding guest… i don’t know if it’s necessary to tell them ALL the details. you can’t make everyone happy (and really shouldn’t want to in regards to your wedding.. it’s about you and your FI!). i know it’s hard… but i’ve noticed that the more details i disclose, the more likely i am to hear something that critical. 

i hope this helps. don’t let your spirit get down! you should be getting extra credit for making it all yourself, but unfortunately some people don’t see it that way. but no matter what people say, it’s your wedding (ok, and your fi’s lol) and you’ll be the one reaping the benefits and compliments from everyone the day of. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 6
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I agree with mixingmommy: either people who love you and can admire your craftiness will appreciate your DIY items, people who are rude and judgemental will think you’re cheap. Weddings are about blowing the bank, after all!

Post # 7
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2007 - Rosary Chapel & Monterey Marriott, Monterey, CA

Beforehand, I was only chatting with my friends (& WB of course) about everything I was doing by hand. Mr. Lemon thought I was insane at the start, but then it became kind of a brag. When we sent out our invites, people asked who we bought them from. At the reception, they asked who did our flowers. At the rehearsal dinner, people were trading Jones soda bottles for whichever one they wanted to hold onto. In the end, DIY was more of a showstopper than a whispered topic… so don’t worry about it at all!

 

Post # 8
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I dealt with this through the entire wedding planning process.  I just learned to ignore the comments — and the word "tacky".  And I was right!  In the end they all loved my wedding and "could not believe" that I’d done it myself!  You go girl!!!

Post # 9
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Holy Family Catholic Church, reception: National Infantry Museum

Most people, including Mr. CC and my family look at me like I’m crazy when I talk about all my projects.  But it’s so worth it!

Post # 10
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree….this is YOUR wedding and you should have what you want.  Other people’s opinions are not important.  I haev actually caught a few bits of this myself…only slightly different.  I actually got a lot of flack for wanting to use real flowers…..when everyone thought I should use fake flowers.  Also, we are getting quite a bit of astonishment that we are not getting married in a church…mostly from his Catholic family—-we are haing the wedding outdoors.

Post # 11
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

YES! Boy have i gotten flak. . . . and raised-eyebrows. Like "OMG, your not spending $500 on you cake!!!!" Why no, i’m not.  I completely agree with you all. . . the DIY stuff comes out the best becasue you put your own personal spin on it, it’s unique, beautiful and cheaper. So just ignore the haters and laugh at them when they are speechless from the beauty of your creations. πŸ˜€

Post # 12
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s so embarassing, but I totally had a snob moment at a friend’s wedding where I whispered to my sister, "Fake flowers? Rly?" I would have never said anything to the bride about her frugality, but I’m mortified that I even thought it back then.

I’m doing all our flowers and I’m planning on doing our invites, programs, etc. But I’m actually finding it hard to tell the FMIL exactly how frugal I’m planning on being because I’m afraid I’ll look cheap instead of frugal (there’s a difference! ^_^). I’m embarassed to say "yay paper flowers!" to her for some reason and my wish to have homemade pies instead of cake? Well, I’m waiting to divulge that a bit later. ^_^

Courage, DIY brides! You all rock!

Post # 13
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Same here!!  I have gotten that reaction more than once myself.. I have to say a major portion of the eyebrow raising has ben MY family, as for FIs family his mom and fam are all onboard with DIY :-)… my MOH has been the hardest to "please", so to speak but I just smile and go about my crafty ways.. πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I also got flak for my DIY stuff! I did my DIY stuff all by myself – never asked my family for any help at all. I told my mom about my DIY projects in casual conversation and about a week later she was super snarky and saying things like, "That’s my daughter, the BRIDEZILLA. She’s making everything because her wedding has to be PERFECT!" Um…how am I being a bridezilla by sitting quietly by myself and making crafts? And what the heck is wrong with wanting a nice wedding?!

Post # 15
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m one of the few [blessed] peopel NOT receiving flak for DIY.  I am dutch (which means my family is very frugal), and I have lots of talented relatives helping me DIY flowers, invitations/stationery, decorations, veil, candy buffet, etc and they all think my ideas are so creative and fun.  (although I do hear a little bit along the lines of, "you’re taking on another project!!  take it easy!")

I’m sorry you’re hearing negative things about your DIY.  I think DIY brides are great, because they’re recourceful, creative and invest themselves in their wedding to make it really personal and special!

Post # 16
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think some people react that way more becasue they are SHOCKED i know what DIY stands for rather than my willingnes to undertake the projects πŸ™‚

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