Post # 1
FI and I hardly ever fight, and we’ve always been able to discuss most issues calmly.
But lately, probably the last few weeks, almost everything turns into an argument. And it’s never just one of us that starts it, we’re both guilty.
I think for me, I’m really starting to feel the pressure of all the planning and changes ahead. We both still live at home, so getting married and moving in together is a big step for us.
For example, we’ve been apartment hunting, but yesterday FI started talking about buying a house a year after we’re married, and I was saying that I don’t think we’ll be finacially there yet and I don’t want to rush into such a big financial committment. Also, FI keeps looking for a bigger better job so who knows where we’ll be a year after we’re married. As long as we’ve been dating, he’s gone from one job to the next and I’m starting to get worried that we’ll never be able to really get comfortable if he continues to look for the next better job. And how are we supposed to buy a house if we don’t even know where he’ll be working??
He keeps telling me to stop worrying about everything, but I would just love to enjoy where we are at RIGHT NOW for once, instead of always talking about the next better or bigger option.
I guess this is more of a rant, but any advice is welcome!
Post # 3
I think many people have this problem during planning. I know we had more heated discussions and stress than before or after.
What we discovered is we saved all wedding talk for 2X a week and made lists for each other for questions/worries/ideas etc. That helped us enjoy life and each other without the stress of wedding.
Post # 4
We’re having a hard time with our housing future as well! It’s too personal to go into here (involves family) but let’s just say we probably won’t be able to get our starter home as soon as we’d planned 🙁
FI doesn’t love his job but it’s steady good work and pay and recession proof so I think he’s gonna stick with it!
We have still never had a fight but I’m guilty of being whinier, more sensitive and all around more crazy than normal (which is pretty crazy) but he’s very patient and loving with me so that helps put me back in my proper head and out of potential bridezilla mode!
Just remember that no matter what you have each other and at the end of the day, it’s really all that matters as long as you’re happy and in love! You’re going to officially be a team forever! That’s something awesome.
Post # 5
I totally understand! just posted myself of our most recent argument. WE ladies i think just tend to OVER stress for the both of us. We take on a double plate sometimes. I know I am guilty of this. And a deeper issue in our situation i have come to realize is a lack of trust. I would like for me to fully be able to trust my Fiance on all matters especially Financial ones for us as well.! its major! others may say love isnt about money…but it IS a major combined factor which will effect a couple for a lifetime.
Post # 6
@fishylove: It’s like you can read my mind.
Post # 7
I noticed that the stress of planning a wedding was hurting us. We moved to SC because of his job, but my family is NJ, his in OH, the whole logistics were driving me crazy. His is such an easy-going person that always answers, “whatever will make you happy”. Which doesn’t help when you really need someone else’s opinion 🙂 I hated arguing with him so we took the easy route and will end up eloping at some point 🙂
I’m the type of person who wants to look at the bigger picture, I’m always trying to plan things that are way in the future, but it causes problems. I think you two need to stop worrying about a year after you’re married and just focus on getting married first 🙂 Who knows what your situation will be like once you move in together. Thinking about buying a house is great but you two need to find out what it’s like to actually live together first and then go forth from there.
Weddings are high stress so what your are going through now is normal, not very enjoyable, but normal. If you can get through this time and still like each other, I think you’ll be fine 🙂
Post # 8
@SparklyBride2011: 🙂 i didn’t want to go into super detail with my issues on your blog…but feel free to message me
Post # 9
FH and I have been this way a bit lately, not full blown fights just a little more on edge with eachother. We are getting married in 35 days and we lives 6 hours from our family and friends and of course, financial things always because I am a money worrier by nature where as FH is not. We just have a lot going on right now but I know once the wedding is done we can relax a little bit 🙂
Post # 10
I think that life is stressful anyways, then when you add planning a wedding on top of athat and a budget for that as well as your lives its harder. It will get better.
Post # 11
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss me !!!!
he has gotten me soooooo mad this entire weekend ! >;O arggggggg