- Miss Chicken Wing
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Okay, I’ve not asked for help yet and I’ve been happy playing the role of supportive bee to all of you fantastic ladies! I’ve really enjoyed celebrating your successes with you and encouraging you when you need to vent, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to provide some encouragement for me!
I’m in a conflicted place right now in regards to my relationship. Not in the quality of it – I love my man to pieces, and we’re not fighting or having a hard time at all. It’s just on the matter of change.
You see, Mr. Chicken Wing and I have been dating for almost 6 years (our anni. is in April!), and this has been our arrangement thus far in our relationship:
*Grew up in different parts of the same state (hours away from each other)
*Met in college/began dating his senior year/my junior year.
*My senior year left me on campus and him in an apt. in the same city.
*I graduated, moved 4 hours away, and we made it in our LDR for a year.
*I relocated back to “our” college city, and we moved in together.
*We’ve lived together for a little over 3 years now.
Here’s the change part I was telling you about – he just got an AMAZING job opportunity in his hometown – which is 2.75 hours from me and “our” city. I mean, it’s such an incredible chance for him to excel in what he’s always wanted to do – the money is right, he’s got the perfect living situation, and he’ll get to see his family on a regular basis (which he hasn’t gotten to do in about 6 years).
He really wanted me to come with him, but I explained that I just could not relocate my life with no physical commitment from him – I won’t be his girlfriend forever. He was upset because he’s been so conflicted and feels that he’s got to choose what’s most important: his job or our relationship. I’ve finally convinced him that I’m not going anywhere, and I love him – I want him to take the job, because I think it will be REALLY good for him. I might not move up there as his girlfriend, but I am happy to be in an LDR again for him (as long as it’s not forever).
While I’m super excited for him, and I’m choosing to look at the positives (we can do weekend trips, and visit all the places near his hometown that I’ve always wanted to, and I can see his family more, too), I do have a twinge of feeling like we’re moving backwards.
So, here’s what I want to know: Have any of you been through this or a similar situation, and how did you handle it? What did you have to do to make it work without either of you sacrificing your happiness?
I heard this quote: “Distance does to love what wind does to fire; extinguishes the weak and feeds the strong.” Right now, I feel we’re strong, and I guess this experience will prove or disprove it. What were your experiences with this?