Deciding on REAL favors we can actually afford. Which would u like to receive?
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If you are having your reception in a bare bones all-purpose type hall...
Deciding on REAL favors we can actually afford. Which would u like to receive?
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Changing my mind again... Gemstones

Anyone else initially disappointed over what they can "actually" afford?!

posted 3 months ago in Reception
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    Blushing bee
    katiee0707    August 18, 2012  

    In my head, I have had this dream wedding planned out for ages. I wanted tons of flowers up and down and everywhere in between. I wanted very unique cake flavors. A sit down dinner. Extemely nice favors. A HUGE projection screen showing pictures of us from childhood to adulthood.

     

    But now we are actually booking our vendors and boy oh boy. Things are sure a lot more expensive than we thought. I splurged on my wedding dress, and now i have much less to spend on other things I thought I wanted. Sit down dinner is out the window. Favors are not worth spending a fortune on, so those have ridiculousy changed directions too. it was hard to go from my dream image in my mind to what we are actually doing.

     

    BUT. I have come to love our real wedding more than any elaborate dream wedding I ever envisioned. It is so much more personal and really us. Not over the top and elaborate like i thought i wanted. Im glad simple and vintage is in right now though and I think a lot of my ideas are still unique and the food be really amazing! Is anyone else going from dream wedding price shock to realistic love?

     
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    Busy bee
    Firie    September 21, 2012   Australia

    I have to say I think many venues that cater for weddings are very over priced.  Alot of the venues around where I am won't talk to you if your guest list is below 100.  I contact a local resort, and they said that they can certainly cater for a 40 person wedding.  Not a problem at all.  Oh but BTW the mid week wedding minimum spent is $10,000 and saturday is $40000.  BUT that can include the alcohol.   ummmmmmmm.....yeah ok.....don't call me, I'll call you!!

    Thats why we decided to have our post ceremony celebrations at home.  We sunk in the into doing the changes into our backyard that we have been talking about doing for ages.  And I am super excited about it.

    I think you just need to find your compromises to make it work for you.

     
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    Bumble bee
    takemyhand    July 27, 2012   Ontario, Canada

    I hear ya! We are doing a wedding for 50 and I feel even that has become a crazy price and I am cutting everywhere and anywhere.

     
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    Honey bee
    Evie19    January 21, 2012  

    The weddings I have enjoyed most as a guest were the ones where the emotion and love between the couple was glowing and the small little touches that make a wedding special/unique to the bride & groom.

    I was into all those details at my wedding, but the comments I got that meant most to me were not how beautiful the flowers were...what touched me and pleased me the most is when I heard how in love and happy we looked.

    Now that you've accepted these small changes due to budget, It's great you are still excited about your plans to make this day a beautiful expression of your love. That shows you know this wedding is more about that than anything else. :)

     
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    Busy bee
    Zusie    September 2, 2012  

    Yes, I have champagne tastes and a beer budget. I'm not so much disappointed (or at least not yet) as having to think more creatively about how we can make what we can afford the best it can be and still have it be my vision.

     
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    Busy bee
    Elolith    February 18, 2016  

    @Firie:  In Ireland, it's basically the same! If you are below hundred persons for a wedding, they will add like 300-400 euros extra (that makes it like 500-600 dollars I think?) for this, as well as charging extra for other stuffs. Some places won't even talk to you or kindly decline your query. In Norway it is not like that happily enough, at least not where we've been looking.

     
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    Blushing bee
    LovebirdsSC    May 12, 2012  

    I wanted a sit down dinner and open bar.  I got laughed at real fast over that dream.  But we substituted for hors d'oeuvres and a one hour open bar.  We will be happy regardless!  My problem is I have very expensive taste. 

     
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    Blushing bee
    farmgirlnfarmboy    July 21, 2012   Cape Breton, Nova Scotia

    i can honeslty say that I am not...  I keep putting the focus on the fact that I am marrying the man of my dreams...i don't care that I can't have a $40,000 wedding...  it's jsut a day, and i would rather not spend the $$ on a day, but rather things that will better our lives...  just my own opinion tho. 

     
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    Sugar bee
    atalante    May 19, 2012  

    I'm very happy with our choices, but I do wish a little bit that there was money for things that would be a little more "us" - our venue said they could hire a sushi chef or set up a raw bar, for example, two things we LOVE. But those choices just weren't options for us.

     
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    Bumble bee
    auggiefrog    August 25, 2012   Wauwatosa, WI

    There were some amazing venues in the area that i live... in the end I am getting a hometown wedding (because it is WAY cheaper).  I still have a great venue that I am happy with and I have learned to settle and embrace the hometown wedding.  

     
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    Busy bee
    andersonsarah    March 2012  

    @katiee0707:  I went through this too... I was really sad that I couldn't have those drape things that you see in really fancy weddings... Then I got even more sad as we began to start cutting things out and still being wayyy over budget..then came the cutting of the guest list. And I was done. My venue seemed cheapest of all of the nice one in the area, but it was wayyy too much. We moved our wedding to DW and it's half of the cost as our wedding in town would be... Which is nice, but other financial issues have added even more of a strain, so that kind of stinks. I am just going to be happy with what we have =)  I'm glad you've come to terms with it also =)

     
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    Helper bee
    Jamiezilla    July 13, 2013   New Jersey

    Ugh, apparently, I had no idea what things actually cost.  Nor did I understand what the weddings I've been to lately cost either!  Right down to the officiant, I've been having sticker shock that it's no wonder why I've been looking up how to just get married by the JOP and forego any celebration at all!

     
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    Busy bee
    TopazWedding    June 9, 2012  

    Yes... And we are still getting a fairly decent priced wedding... Our venue is ridiculous.

     
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    Helper bee
    andilene    June 2, 2012   Waukesha, WI

    I wanted to do open bar too, but there is no way we can do that! it's as much as the food! So we are winning some and losing some I guess, but none of the other weddings we've been to have open bars and now we know why! FH did not understand the prices at first, and when I laid it all out for him he got 'real' real fast! I think the biggest shock to me was how much it can cost to just rent a place--unreal.

     
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    Blushing bee
    Mrs.McMac    September 15, 2012   New York, NY

    I suppose I was sad about cutting our guest list down, but I wasn't willing to sacrafice the quality of wedding we wanted, so we just invited fewer people.

     
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    Bumble bee
    MissTX    May 17, 2013   Texas

    Yea I can definitely understand that. At first I never actually thought I would have the "DREAM" wedding because I imagined it would cost around 100k lol ya know. When I met my SO we spoke about money for our wedding and were going to save 20-30k to have that big wedding of our dreams. It really KILLS me to spend that much on a wedding especially when you can have something so beautiful for less money...I want a house, a family etc. I cant justify spending as much as I would really want to on the wedding portion. It does suck that we don't have a money tree BUT...I know in the long run cutting things out and scaling down will be a smart financial decision :) But to answer your question, definitely feel a little sad that I won't WOW people with the extravagant things that most people wish for :) Ya know?? 

     
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    Busy bee
    paigers91    May 14, 2012   Memphis, Tn

    I was for a couple of days, because in Memphis, TN there are either REALLY nice wedding venues or tacky ones. One of my choices in my price range was a chapel and reception hall that had a French antique feel to it that was very pretty but it was the middle of midtown where all the buildings were cramped and we weren't sure if there would even be enough parking and the name of it screamed "Wedding factory." 

    My other choice (and the one we are going with) is pretty,  but more expensive and you have to use their catering which I don't like. It has the outdoor ceremony that I wanted and it has plenty of parking but I keep seeing all these old houses that have wedding services that are gorgeous and so much more what I want but we simply can't afford it. 

    I think at the end of the day, I'll love my choice. I hope so anyway. 

     
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    Blushing bee
    StephieBee    September 22, 2012   SoCal

    I think I was lucky in that I never envisioned something over the top for my wedding day, but wanted something relatively simple and pretty. Sure, if I could have 300 guests and get married near the beach, or in the middle of a garden, with a reception in a huge, glamorous antique-looking ballroom with crystal chandeliers, I would. I am happy, however, with finding something beautiful, that's much cheaper, and will be fun to decorate and dress up.

    The other thing, too, is that my FI and I are frugal people. We are always trying to save money and not spend it on things we don't think we need, so being on a budget for the wedding isn't as horrible as I would've thought. Thank goodness we spent time getting our spending to where we were comfortable; otherwise this would've been a lot harder. 

    As a side note, I have a close friend getting married in November, and she's on a much much tighter budget than I - it's actually almost non-existent. She had talked about saving for a wedding and decorating a venue, but when she realized that couldn't happen, she found an alternative - She's getting married on the beach, but it's a public beach that doesn't charge anything for her to have the ceremony there. She's going to rent the chairs, if there are any; people may just be sitting on blankets :) She's have the "reception" be more of a dinner at a gorgeous restaurant by the beach that she's renting out for the night -- but here's the catch -- guests pay for their own food. She's telling people way in advance so that they can save if they truly want to go. The venue doesn't need much decoration, so she's pretty much good to go! I'm actually really impressed with how she was able to arrange it... and the best part is, it's totally her style!

     

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