Anyone else do all the cooking in the relationship?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who does the cooking in your relationship?
    It's all me and I'm fine with it. : (47 votes)
    26 %
    It's all me and I wish he would offer to cook every once in awhile. : (36 votes)
    20 %
    He's in charge of making dinner, I can't cook for the life of me. : (29 votes)
    16 %
    We like to cook together or take turns in the kitchen. : (66 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    294 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I don’t cook at all- but FI does sometimes get tired of cooking. On those nights, I make sure to make preparations for take out or we buy frozen things that we can microwave. Trader Joe’s makes some great options- I have a great love for their pasta. In addition- we eat out at least 1-2x per week with friends/ourselves so he’s cooking max 5 nights a week.

    Have you tried this with your FI?

    Post # 4
    Member
    1878 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

    I picked we cook together/take turns. But really I do most of the cooking. He’ll cook if I ask him to. And if there is grilling involved he does that. I don’t mess with the grill.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2126 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I love to cook, so I don’t mind. I actually get slightly annoyed when FI wants to cook, because it takes SO LONG and he makes such a mess. But he wants to learn, and that’s cute, so he cooks every now and then (although a lot less frequently now since he’s been in law school). He helps a lot, too, but our kitchen is so tiny that often times, it’s more of a hassle than anything else.

    Post # 6
    Member
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    He’s a chef and always critiques my cooking so I do the cooking when he’s working a double shift. He never comes home hungry anyway due to him working in a restaurant so it’s balanced. Maybe you guys can work on having days for take out or delivered meals? Also you guys can purchase frozen dinners, Trader Joe’s has awesome options. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    643 posts
    Busy bee

    @Jewelieee:  I do most of the cooking but he definitely helps out. I usually have to ask, but I’m okay with that. He does most of the cleaning so it all works out!

    Post # 8
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We made a comprimise. He does the dishes and the laundry and I cook dinner. I enjoy cooking and honestly if I let him do it, we would just have a big slab of meat on a plate with some spices. He has no creativity to it. For my health and my palette I do the cooking (plus I hate doing the damn dishes, so a win-win).

    Post # 9
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    My FI can hardly cook, and I am pickier than him, so I do most of the cooking. He’s good at making breakfast (ie scrambling eggs and frying bacon, haha) and grilling because I am intimidated by the grill. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Jewelieee:  My FI cooks all the meals, but when he’s got a deadline or isn’t feeling like cooking, I do my share of finger cooking! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

    @Jewelieee:  DH makes spaghetti every once in a while but that’s it lol. And he doesn’t do the past, just the sauce. Sometimes I have to work at keeping a good attitude about it. I’ve found that if I plan ahead I don’t resent cooking as much. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Jewelieee:  I am the cook 99.9% of the time.  Dinners, check.  Parties we host, check.  Potlucks, check. You name the event, I cook for it.

    Although FI has proven to whip a good meal or two early on in our dating, I have taken over sole responsibility of the meals we eat.  

    I take the blame, however.  I have taken control over the situation, from diet restrictions I have put upon me/us to meal planning to grocery shopping.  At one point, he was offering, and I turned him down.  Now he does not, nor do I ask for help.  I know that if he were to cook, it would be unhealthy, or ‘not the same’, and that is just setting him up to feel like a failure (lol).  

    In all seriousness, he has told me that if I want help, I need to ask.  And, in turn, have told him that the luxury that he has today will most likely change when/if their are children in the picture because then things would have to be more 50/50.  So, for now, I do it because I want too, and because I like it.  If there were ever a point where I resented the cooking, then I would need to vocalize it, and keep my mouth shut when I do not like what is being served.  I am lucky, in that aspect, because even when I have tried a new and ‘gross’ recipe he eats it without complaint, and even takes all the leftovers to work in his lunch!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    we’re the opposite of most couples. we have a clear division of duties, and mine do not include cooking in any capacity. when i lived alone i cooked simple meals for myself, but he loves cooking elaborate, complicated stuff i just wouldn’t bother with. for me, it’s too much work, mess and clean up without enough reward! haha! even if i go to a girls’ night and i’m supposed to bring something, he cooks it. he likes doing it, so i figure as long as i’m pulling my weight in other areas, it works for us as a couple.

    he cooks, i do most of the cleaning and running of our household – organization, finances, etc.

    Post # 14
    Member
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

    I am the cook in the house – I wouldn’t have it any other way because I love cooking. My SO always offers to help, and if I’m busy working later or just don’t feel like cooking he always steps up. It’s a great system.

    We also don’t have a dishwasher and he gets mad props for doing the dishes 80-90% of the time. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    143 posts
    Blushing bee

    SO is a really picky eater and isn’t really that bothered about food as a concept, he would legitimately not eat if he didn’t have to. He can also only cook a fried breakfast.

    We don’t live together yet but will do soon and I have already made a weekly schedule of meals. You know, like planning in advance to get the best out of certain ingredients and making double batches to freeze so that some nights I will just have to heat things up. Could you try something like that?

    Luckily as SO isn’t that into food and likes routine, we are going to have the exact same dishes on a weekly rota Monday-Friday with me getting a chance to have something more interesting to eat at the weekends.

    On the plus side he has promised to clean the oven, take out the bins and drive me to and from the supermarket (basically the jobs I hate). 😉

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee

    I love to cook and I do the majority of the cooking, but we pretty much make dinner together, so he helps with elements. It’s one of our favorite things to do together.

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