Post # 1
I’m feeling a little sad and resentful that my FI doesn’t cook at all. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not cooking 7 days a week and FI does help out with dishes and whatnot, so it all balances out. But I can’t help but be jealous that it seems like everyone else’s SO/FI/DH knows how to cook, both on the Bee and on my FB (where women will humble brag and show a pic of what their man cooked for dinner). Most of my girlfriends don’t even cook dinner for their partners, they always eat out or yeah the guy cooks for them. They’re not burdened with the task of having to prepare dinner almost every night after work (I don’t enjoy cooking like some people). Please tell me I’m not the only one out there???
P.S. – I’ve already tried, my FI refuses to cook and if he were to cook, he would prepare something bland and gross. That’s partly why we have this arrangement where I do the cooking, I’m way more picky than him about the taste and quality of the meal, plus he has longer work hrs/longer commute.
Post # 3
I don’t cook at all- but FI does sometimes get tired of cooking. On those nights, I make sure to make preparations for take out or we buy frozen things that we can microwave. Trader Joe’s makes some great options- I have a great love for their pasta. In addition- we eat out at least 1-2x per week with friends/ourselves so he’s cooking max 5 nights a week.
Have you tried this with your FI?
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
I picked we cook together/take turns. But really I do most of the cooking. He’ll cook if I ask him to. And if there is grilling involved he does that. I don’t mess with the grill.
Post # 5
I love to cook, so I don’t mind. I actually get slightly annoyed when FI wants to cook, because it takes SO LONG and he makes such a mess. But he wants to learn, and that’s cute, so he cooks every now and then (although a lot less frequently now since he’s been in law school). He helps a lot, too, but our kitchen is so tiny that often times, it’s more of a hassle than anything else.
Post # 6
He’s a chef and always critiques my cooking so I do the cooking when he’s working a double shift. He never comes home hungry anyway due to him working in a restaurant so it’s balanced. Maybe you guys can work on having days for take out or delivered meals? Also you guys can purchase frozen dinners, Trader Joe’s has awesome options.
Post # 7
@Jewelieee: I do most of the cooking but he definitely helps out. I usually have to ask, but I’m okay with that. He does most of the cleaning so it all works out!
Post # 8
We made a comprimise. He does the dishes and the laundry and I cook dinner. I enjoy cooking and honestly if I let him do it, we would just have a big slab of meat on a plate with some spices. He has no creativity to it. For my health and my palette I do the cooking (plus I hate doing the damn dishes, so a win-win).
Post # 9
My FI can hardly cook, and I am pickier than him, so I do most of the cooking. He’s good at making breakfast (ie scrambling eggs and frying bacon, haha) and grilling because I am intimidated by the grill.
Post # 10
@Jewelieee: My FI cooks all the meals, but when he’s got a deadline or isn’t feeling like cooking, I do my share of finger cooking!
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
@Jewelieee: DH makes spaghetti every once in a while but that’s it lol. And he doesn’t do the past, just the sauce. Sometimes I have to work at keeping a good attitude about it. I’ve found that if I plan ahead I don’t resent cooking as much.
Post # 12
@Jewelieee: I am the cook 99.9% of the time. Dinners, check. Parties we host, check. Potlucks, check. You name the event, I cook for it.
Although FI has proven to whip a good meal or two early on in our dating, I have taken over sole responsibility of the meals we eat.
I take the blame, however. I have taken control over the situation, from diet restrictions I have put upon me/us to meal planning to grocery shopping. At one point, he was offering, and I turned him down. Now he does not, nor do I ask for help. I know that if he were to cook, it would be unhealthy, or ‘not the same’, and that is just setting him up to feel like a failure (lol).
In all seriousness, he has told me that if I want help, I need to ask. And, in turn, have told him that the luxury that he has today will most likely change when/if their are children in the picture because then things would have to be more 50/50. So, for now, I do it because I want too, and because I like it. If there were ever a point where I resented the cooking, then I would need to vocalize it, and keep my mouth shut when I do not like what is being served. I am lucky, in that aspect, because even when I have tried a new and ‘gross’ recipe he eats it without complaint, and even takes all the leftovers to work in his lunch!!
Post # 13
we’re the opposite of most couples. we have a clear division of duties, and mine do not include cooking in any capacity. when i lived alone i cooked simple meals for myself, but he loves cooking elaborate, complicated stuff i just wouldn’t bother with. for me, it’s too much work, mess and clean up without enough reward! haha! even if i go to a girls’ night and i’m supposed to bring something, he cooks it. he likes doing it, so i figure as long as i’m pulling my weight in other areas, it works for us as a couple.
he cooks, i do most of the cleaning and running of our household – organization, finances, etc.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
I am the cook in the house – I wouldn’t have it any other way because I love cooking. My SO always offers to help, and if I’m busy working later or just don’t feel like cooking he always steps up. It’s a great system.
We also don’t have a dishwasher and he gets mad props for doing the dishes 80-90% of the time.
Post # 15
SO is a really picky eater and isn’t really that bothered about food as a concept, he would legitimately not eat if he didn’t have to. He can also only cook a fried breakfast.
We don’t live together yet but will do soon and I have already made a weekly schedule of meals. You know, like planning in advance to get the best out of certain ingredients and making double batches to freeze so that some nights I will just have to heat things up. Could you try something like that?
Luckily as SO isn’t that into food and likes routine, we are going to have the exact same dishes on a weekly rota Monday-Friday with me getting a chance to have something more interesting to eat at the weekends.
On the plus side he has promised to clean the oven, take out the bins and drive me to and from the supermarket (basically the jobs I hate). 😉
Post # 16
I love to cook and I do the majority of the cooking, but we pretty much make dinner together, so he helps with elements. It’s one of our favorite things to do together.