Post # 1
UGH. My FMIL is sooooooo disinterested in the wedding. We got engaged 12-1-09 and she did not call me to say congrats. I ended up calling her like 5 days after and saying “I’m so excited to be a part of the family!!!” She tells me she’s “not a girly girl” and “just not that into weddings.” OK, a) she is a TOTAL girly girl and just because she has three boys does not preclude her from acting slightly interested about this and b) this is her oldest son we’re talking about!!! I even asked him the other day if his mom ever asks or mentions anything about the wedding, and he said no. Granted, we are not getting married until 10-29-2011 but STILL. We’ve been together 8 years and I have been waiting for this for a longggggggggg time.
I am dreading Easter because I am afraid I am going to go OFF on her when she acts flippant or says for the umpteenth time “Oh, I’m just not into this kind of stuff.” I know I shouldn’t get mad before it actually happens, but is it really too much to ask for some interest and/or love? I’ll take fake emotion too!
Post # 3
I’m dreading it.
Not so much because of wedding reasons, but because R and I are “in the closet” atheists. It makes for a miserable time. We really should “confess” but it would cause so much drama, disappointment and hurt feelings that we don’t want to yet.
Christmas is easier, because even though it is religious, it’s been secularized to a certain extent. But Easter is just… well, Easter.
Post # 4
@lilyfaith: hahaha! someone at work just today asked me “If his family isn’t religious, what do you do on Easter?” I’m like “eat ham, drink too much, and be miserable.” Good luck to you!
Post # 5
Haha, that’s great! Good luck to you, too. I hope that your FMIL has a change of heart and gets excited about something wedding-related.
Post # 6
Semi-kinda, only because it’s going to be full of “so when’s the wedding?!”. Thankfully we don’t get too much harassment for it anymore.
Of course, BF’s mom and sister are going to go on about this wedding of theirs (not mine) that they want to plan for BF and I (I say BF, because I don’t think I would show up…), and how they’d do this and that and how BF and I wanting something that we would enjoy is “trashy”…
Also, last easter we went to church, and his mom and sister are totally the “my way or the highway” sorts of people, and they were talking badly about people who were not dressed like they were…
BF is not really looking forward to it either, but it will be the first time we’ve seen his mom and sister since his dad passed.
Post # 7
I love my family dearly. Oh gosh. They are wonderful. We are close. Sometimes we are too close. Holidays in our family stretch out over weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks. My dad is out of town over Easter, so my mom wants to have Easter dinner the next weekend. The weekend after that we’re having Easter dinner and the Easter egg hunt at my sister’s in-law’s place. On REAL Easter I’m hosting FI’s mom and brother since otherwise there won’t be an Easter for them. Good lordy.
For me, the worst part is that my mom gets fake religious on Easter. My dad is uber-Catholic, I am not. We respect each other’s differences very well and just don’t really talk religion which is totally fair. My mom hasn’t gone to church for as long as I can remember, I’ve never seen her pray, never heard her mention a belief in anything “above”. One year (I was in high school) she decided to freak out at me for eating a hamburger on Good Friday. What?! Another year she asked my sister and I what we were giving up for Lent. Clearly this is a good opportunity for snide teenagers to stick it to their mom, so our answer I think was cocaine. It still sort of makes me giggle. The one time of the year to decide your religious and you pick Good Friday?! Perhaps there will be more delightful surprises this year! Or maybe my mom will break out one of her closet conspiracy theories I’ve learned about over the past year or two…. On second thought, my sister and I may have driven her around the bend….
Post # 8
I’m dreading it but that’s just because we have 4 sets of houses to hop to as all of our parents divorced… Plus I totally didn’t think of my future MIL until reading this. She’s gonna be in town, which is rare or rather sporadic. And since I asked her to go dress shopping last year, she’s been a bit iffy towards me. It seems like your future MIL’s reaction to the engagement is kinda like mine to the dress shopping. I’m choosing to think it’s more that they are afraid of their son not needing them anymore rather than some spite-filled secret agenda. My future hubby is his mom’s only child and they are really close so she probably fears me stealing him away from being her lil boy even though he’s 30.
Post # 9
I’m actually excited about it because Husband’s parents are going to go to church with us and then come over later for Easter dinner. They always do Christmas and Thanksgiving down in Los Angeles, so it’ll be our first holiday with them in our house. Plus they haven’t been over to our house since before the wedding, when my mom was down the week before Thanksgiving. It’ll be nice to be able to host them in our house since we are over at theirs once a week.
Post # 10
@labrat: I totally feel your pain! I WOULD be doing that, except we are copping out and staying in the town where we live and where the future in laws live. Only one family to see in one place is a lot easier than jumping between towns!
Post # 11
FI and I stopped going to our families’ for Easter four years ago. We played the “it’s too far to travel for one day” card and won. We spend our Easter going to mass, then sitting on the couch watching movies and eating Chinese. It’s the best Easter EVER ;o)
Post # 12
Ewwww she better be nice to you! You are going to have kids one day and she will be a grandmother so she needs to support your marriage. I am actually looking forward to going to FI’s dad for easter, his parents are divorced and his mom lives in florida so she wont be there. She isnt really involved either, when I told her how excited I was to be a part of the family she said ‘well, its his life he does whatever he wants with it’! WHat?! I guess its common for MILs to act that way. Try to have fun and dont let anyone keep you from putting your wedding day on a pedestal. I’ve been sending her emails too to ask her for opinions on my DIY centerpieces and such and no reply at all but yet she facebooks me and asks me to send her pics of her granddaughter, crazy woman
Post # 13
@hotchild- I play the same card. When I moved away from home, I missed the family gatherings. Then I started figuring out how much fun holidays were with friends, or just doing my/our own thing. I think I’d get in trouble if I didn’t go home once and awhile for a holiday, but I’m honestly at the point where I’d be perfectly content not going back for another holiday.
Post # 14
@lkbphmd: Agree 100 percent. I don’t mind going to our families for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but besides that, we avoid it. It’s just so much more fun/relaxing to be in your own home, not trekking from house to house and sleeping on air mattresses.
Post # 15
I was dreading it until this morning. My cousin’s GF is really self centered and awful. I invited her to my MOH’s bachelorette party anyway, bc we’re a really close family and we want to get to know her. She accepts and changes her plans last minute and announces them on facebook(!!!). So she was called out for it by my sister who paid for the trip, therefore GH owes her money. I really wasn’t looking forward to her sitting at the table on Easter bc of the drama.
Today her new FB status is “thanks but no thanks. Going to New Hampshire this weekend because I’m not a masochist.”
What a jerk. Thanks for saving the drama for yo mama LITERALLY.
Post # 16
Yes, I am dreading a family get together, but only because my mother is threatening to crash our plans with the in-laws. FI & I are planning on going to see his father, spend time with his grandmother and do eastery type things, but apparently my mother is considering joining us (uninvited–she’d have to stay at a hotel or something too).
She has a tendency to be a huge PITA when we try and do things without her, you know like the younger sibling that tags along everywhere even though you hate it?
I honestly wouldn’t mind, if it wasn’t so embarrassing/rude. I feel for the inlaws, we’re coming as guests and it just seems awkward to show up and be like “oh yeah, btw, my MOM is going to come too”