Post # 1
Obviously I am EXTREMELY happy about the recent proposal and engagement. My FI is the “bees knees” and everything I could ever want and more. We’ve had maybe one big argument, we have communication skills that people don’t believe, and we’re best friends. I found myself very upset last night because I haven’t seen FI in 2 days (!) and I was SO depressed that all I had were engagement videos to watch and a ring on my finger. I just wanted him THERE.
Now – and I don’t mean to sound like I have cold feet – but I think I kind of do. I don’t want to start planning the wedding yet, at all. We want to have a long engagement (like, think 2 years or more) and I just want to keep going with what we have going right now. Is that strange that I’m not ready to plan? I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with my FI, there is no question about it. I don’t even find other people “attractive” anymore, and honestly, I am so in love that I sometimes cry when I think about how lucky I am. I am truly head over heels!
I’m just scared or something. Does that make sense? Maybe it is cold feet, but I think it also had a lot to do with getting all of my stuff in order (degree — house — job — etc) before I am ready to jump into a wedding with both feet.
UGH — now I feel like I sound ungrateful and not happy. I don’t know how to explain this feeling. 🙁
Post # 3
Eh, I was SO uninterested in planning when we first got engaged (March 2008) We’d been living together, together for a long time, etc. and I knew we were going to get married.
It’s fine…you’ll get into it. I had a long engagement too and it was great :o)
Post # 4
You’re not alone. We got engaged in January and I didn’t even start thinking about planning until August…and started in September. Then our wedding won’t be until September of 2010…so nearly 2 years as well.
I also found it strangely annoying how people were asking “when is the big day” like 5 minutes after we got engaged. I mean really…how many people truly have the date picked the second they say “Yes”. I just kept saying “I’ll let you know” or “You get the invitation”. It really got on my nerves.
Post # 5
OH honey! You’re being responsible! Congrats on your engagement. You have a lot on your mind and are obviously smart enough to think it through. Just enjoy your engagement… moment by moment.
A lot of good discussion on marriages not only on this blog but apracticalwedding.com because you shouldn’t feel bad about wanting to get stuff in order first!
Hugs* You’re lucky to find your soulmate.
Post # 6
haha don’t rush it and don’t feel bad about it. You want to enjoy your engagement, no matter what! It’ll also be good to hold off on active planning if you want a long engagement – times and trends change in 2 years and you wouldn’t want to have excess time to second guess yourself. Good luck! I don’t think you have cold feet, you just have comfortable feet that don’t feel like being overworked just yet.
Post # 7
I did the same thing. Didn’t take any wedding related questions for the first couple months after we got engaged. You have to enjoy the post engagement glow — all the wedding stuff will gear up in its due time
Post # 8
Your feelings of not wanting to plan & get your ducks in a row have NO relation to your love for your FI. You just want to make sure that you two have a successful relationship & you understand what needs to be in place to do so. Like another bee said, you are being responsible.
Also, every girl has nerves about the wedding, and I think sometimes we relate being nervous to being unsure, which I dont think is the case.
And don’t worry about your unenthusiasm, it will come the closer you get to the wedding 🙂
Post # 9
Hugs! Just getting engaged is a big step. I think it’s fine to just enjoy the moment and start planning when you feel ready.
Post # 10
Don’t feel bad, I was the same way. Even though I thought we’d get engaged soon and was really excited, it was just overwhelming and I needed time to process it or something. It did feel weird because I didn’t want to start planning right away, it was just something I needed to adjust to for a bit, even being really happy about being engaged. I still quite understand it but you’re not alone!
Post # 11
Give yourself time to adjust to being engaged – it’s a big change in and of itself. The urge to plan will come once you’ve gotten used to the idea.
Post # 12
No worries! You have plans and goals and that is great! Get everything ready and in place before you get married! That is really admirable actually.
Post # 13
I don’t think everyone has to be obsessed with wedding planning the second they get engaged. I wasn’t into it at all at first. Now, I spend a scary amount of time on wedding blogging, wedding planning…and now that I’ve discovered this site, here as well.
I think if I hadn’t finished school and if we weren’t set with our jobs and our apartment, I couldn’t have focused on planning a wedding at all, so not suprised that those things are more important to you now.
Post # 14
Please don’t feel ungrateful!
It takes a lot of energy just dealing with daily stressors and not every engaged couple should feel excited and going into wedding planning madness! Don’t feel pressure!!! Fights are normal~ work things out~ but please don’t feel pressure that you HAVE to do something or feel something!
Post # 15
We got engaged October 2008. At that point, we had been living together since May, I still had my student teaching semester to go and he had one more semester in his Master’s degree. Needless to say, we didn’t even really think about anything wedding related until after graduation in May. We didn’t start actually planning until June when we looked at venues.
But now that we’ve started planning, I wish I didn’t have to wait so long! By the time we get married, our engagement will have been a little over a year and a half even though for most of the time, we just sat around enjoying our new engaged status. So I don’t blame you for wanting to enjoy yourself where you are; don’t feel pressured to start planning starting day 2 of your engagement or anything. And that can be hard with people asking every 5 seconds “So, did you pick a date yet?”. The only ones who can set the timeline is you and your FI.
Enjoy being engaged, and then enjoy your planning!
Post # 16
And actually, if you never get “into” planning (not saying that you will or won’t, but for anyone who isn’t like, WB bride) that’s okay too… although you probably wouldn’t be on here if you won’t get excited about it eventually. 🙂
For example, my brother and sister-in-law never got excited about planning a wedding at all; they were more excited about buying a house together and fixing that up. They ended up eloping and telling us on facebook that they had married. I think I found out because my brother’s status was “one ring to rule them all.”