Anyone Else Feel Alone In Planning?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
85 posts
Worker bee

@misspshiz:  ::HUGS:: 

I’m at work right now, but I hope I can come back later with a more substantive reply.

Post # 4
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hugs from me too.  I feel the exact same as you do right now so I can’t tell you what to do to not feel this way, but I can say that you are not alone.  I think it is true that no one will care about your wedding as much as you do (not even FI in my case since when I ask him what he wants he just say’s whatever makes me happiest).  And it is a unique kind of pressure and stress that you just cannot understand until you actually go through it yourself.  Even if you were surrounded with super supportive people the fact that the decisions in the end fall on you is very isolating.  I think this feeling is totally justified, but at the same time it doesn’t feel good.

Post # 5
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I wanted to elope! Oh man, did I! I hated wedding planning. It was so stressful and annoying– all these little details that you want to be nice but (if you’re on a budget like I was) inexpensive.

My husband was the one who really wanted the wedding, so planning was really not fun for me. But since I’m better at planning and researching ideas/ prices/ vendors/ etc, we made a deal that he would help me more around the house while I was working on the wedding. This took a lot of stress off my plate so that I could focus on planning a nice wedding. Plus when we had an appointment regarding the wedding, he was really easy going about it– he wasn’t a pain in the ass like “Do I have to go?”

So talk to your FI to see if there are other things he can help you with that aren’t exactly wedding related but are still stressful for you.

Also, I had no expectations from my bridesmaids about helping with the planning. The way I looked at it was that it was not their wedding so it was not their responsibility. When they did help or were excited about it or planned the wedding shower, it was really flattering.

Post # 6
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I was gung ho from the beginning, too and attacked planning at first with lots of decisions to make.  Then I stepped back so I didn’t overwhelm myself.  I’ve slowly been doing something here or something there, but I’m not as excited as I was before.  I think because I took too long of a break from doing anything wedding related.  Wish I’d known that would backfire!  I don’t have bridesmaids, so no extra help for me.  My mom is helping the most with helping me pick out things like my dress to the programs.  My SIL and best friend are also helping with a few small crafty items.  I felt bad asking for help so I’m limiting how much; but if you need/want help, just ask.  I would love to help you if I could (maybe I can!).  I’m sorry this isn’t going as you had planned, I hope you are able to find the excitement in it!

Post # 7
85 posts
Worker bee

@misspshiz:  Ok I’m back! I just wanted to say that I understand where you’re coming from. It sucks feeling unsupported and not excited about the wedding planning. At times, I’m also not so excited about wedding planning since I’m pretty much handling all of it. We’re not going to have bridesmaids or groomsmen, I’m not able to rely on family members (most live far away), and FI has a horribly busy untraditional schedule. I feel like I’ve been in the very beginning phases of planning for weeks! Some days I feel like I make pretty good progress, and other days (usually after I get a reply from a potential vendor – haha) I feel like it’s an impossible task and that we should do the courthouse bit and skip the wedding!

So, I empathize. Let’s look forward to the day(s) that we’re married and have washed our hands of all this planning business!

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