Post # 1
Fi picked out tuxes on Saturday! yay!!!! He was less than excited but that’s just because wearing a suit is something he told me he was only doing twice, maybe three times in his life, one, marrying me, two giving away his daughter and third, his own funeral and that’s questionable! lol
Anyway, when all is said and done, our guys are going to have to spend roughly $175.00 for their rental, this includes everything, shoes, shirt, cufflinks, ties, vest, socks, the whole thing, all they have to do is go, get fitted, pick it up and put it on.
The dress I’m looking at for my girls is roughly $130ish, then of course shoes and whatnot.
None of the members in our bridal party have fallen on “hard times” that we know about, they are all pretty stable and are pretty well established but I feel like such an asshole for asking them to spend this money to be in our wedding. I know that it’s traditonally their responsibility and most of them expect it but damn I feel myself getting over anxious even telling them. I feel the worst for my brother and sis-in law since they are BOTH in the wedding!
I’ve been in a couple and it wasn’t uncommon for me to spend roughly $500.00 once all was said and done, between my dress, hair, shoes, accessories, gifts, etc.
Anyone else feel guilty about this??
Post # 3
I’m paying for my bridal party’s dresses and FI is paying for his groomsmen’s tux rentals. For his side especially everyone is travelling internationally and we just couldn’t ask them to pay more. We just folded that madness into the budget.
I never mind paying for a bridesmaids dress if I’m a bridesmaid, but I felt like if we could, we should.
Post # 4
@MrsFarm0619: I totally do! I’ve been doing a lot of dress browsing in the past week, and I feel so guilty when I look at the prices! But then I showed one of my friends (who doesn’t have a ton of money) some of the dresses I liked, and she was like “dude I’d pay $160 for that dress! It’s super awesome and I’ll wear it again!” Soo maybe they expect it/don’t mind? I just feel bad because the idea of spending more than $50 on a dress seems crazy to me. (I’m very frugal)
Post # 5
@MrsFarm0619: FI feels guilty about making his guys buy a suit. It’s not even that expensive but he just feels bad. Considering all my girls have to travel – some more than others, have thrown me a shower, paid for their dress and shoes (and some are choosing to have their hair done as well), my girls definitely come out paying more than the guys do. Call me harsh, but I don’t feel bad. They all knew the cost going in and definitely could have said no if they didn’t feel they could afford it.
I think he also feels that way because he’s never stood up in a wedding whereas I have. He’s the first of his friends to get married.
Post # 6
Yes, I do. I plan to keep the dresses at a reasonable price point and just ask for a certian color/metal tone for shoes and jewelry, but, having been in a wedding, I know costs can be high.
Post # 7
We are paying for the bridesmaid dresses and the groomsmen’s tux rental. I was recently in a wedding and spent around $1500 to be in it, and I didn’t want that burden on my wedding party. I don’t understand why it’s not more common to pay for the party members’ attire at least.
Post # 8
I do, and as a result am paying for everything for the bridal party (dress, jewelry, hair, makeup, nails, hotel rooms, everything!). They’re all from out of town anyway and FI and I are in a position to pay for everything without much issue while they are struggling (I just graduated undergrad this past spring, FI graduated in 2011 and is working on his PhD) and most of our friends are still “getting started” so it made the most sense :-)! I didn’t want to have anyone not go simply because they couldn’t afford it.
Post # 9
No I didn’t feel guilty. I’ve spent that much easily on my BMs/FGs/MOH. The GM’s all wore dark suits they already had, and we got them ties to match our colors. All of the gifts that we got for them were pretty costly, which is fine, I just think it all comes out in the wash. These weren’t people we just met, we’ve been around these people for years
Post # 10
@MrsFarm0619: It is always on my mind!! Im telling my girls to buy a navy dress that makes then feel beautiful. I know the whole “mismatch” bridemades are a big trend right now but Ive always said I would be letting the girls pick what they want. I wish I could buy there dresses but I am going to give each girl $100 torward there attire. If they say under they stay under if not thats there choice. My FI might be doing the same for his guys. but most of them already own a suit so they can wear theres if they choose. but to keep with the mismatch we are going to buy each guy a new navy ties and each one will be different.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I feel a little guilty, but I’ve shelled out the money for other weddings I’ve been in so in the end it all ends up pretty even. I do have one bridesmaid (a cousin) who could not afford her dress so my parents and I chipped in to buy it for her. We didn’t make this publiclly known to everyone either it was just between us. I have two other cousins in the wedding (sisters) and I know their Mom paid for their dresses. Then my two friends in the wedding paid for theirs on their own, but I was in their weddings and paid for dresses etc…and I know they can afford it so it’s not really weighing on me.
FI feels bad asking anyone to do anything for him. So not much getting around that, but he’s been okay with the costs so far since we really aren’t doing anything too horribly expensive.
Post # 12
i paid for my BM dresses, their hair, and makeup.
the girls paid for their own alterations, and i told them they could wear shoes and jewelry they already had. it was their choice if they wanted something new.
i wasn’t expecting wedding gifts, but each girl got me a shower gift and wedding gifts in addition to paying for the shower.
Post # 13
@MrsFarm0619: yes I feel like I can’t find anything reasonable .. It doesn’t help that my FI sister is getting married exactly 1 month after my FI and I not to mention her wedding is a destination wedding. Like for real? My FI has 4 sisters (all of which are in my party) and the sister that is getting married the month after has all of her sisters plus me in the wedding .. So I have to worry about my wedding, paying for flights/travel expenses for the destination wedding, my FI and I are not planning a honeymoon, we want to purchase a house and it wouldn’t be possible to go on a honeymoon and take all the time off for her wedding. I have two sisters who are already married and I paid $160-$200 for their dresses which was not a big deal but I was in a different living situation at the time with my FI so it was easy for us. My 2 sisters, and 3 other BM’s keep telling me whatever I pick they will pay, they don’t care but I have 4 other people who have to dish out all this money for my weddnig plus my FSILs wedding .. uhhhh
Post # 14
We all do it for each other so I didnt feel guilty. I did not ask my girls to spend anything other than what I would feel comfortable spending. $150 ish for a dress + shoes, etc is pretty average I think.
Post # 15
@MrsFarm0619: I’m going through the same thing! All my friends and I are all pretty poor. One bridesmaid has a 2 year old, another just found out she’s pregnant, and another just got married and is still in school! I’m trying to make things cheap as possible while still having my vision!
Post # 16
I feel awful about the costs to the bridal party especially groomsmen. Typically women can rationalize and justify a one time dress purchase for under $120. That is why for the groom’s men we decided to keep it simple with black slacks, vests and a white dress shirt. The ties would be part of our gifts to the BP.
Now my darling FI on the other hand has insisted (more like demanded) a designer midnight blue tuxedo with a shawl lapel…and i thought i was the diva…