Post # 1
As some of you may know, my (AMAZING) grandfather gifted me $6k which made me cry/almost faint/call him and insist of giving it back. My budget is 3k and–for reasons I won’t go into here–even that was starting to look like a longshot. So, needless to say, the money is/was a lifesaver and I am incredibly grateful and indebted to him…
…we just bought our wedding bands last night which totalled less than $500 and I feel so incredibly… guilty. I don’t know why. Maybe I feel selfish because that money would really, REALLY help with other, more important things like a downpayment on a house? I have to keep telling myself that he gave the money to me for my wedding.
Did anyone else have this issue? How did you get past your self-guilt trip?
Post # 3
@jwdesiree: I get where you’re coming from. Just remember that your grandfather wants you to have the wedding you want so you’re doing exactly what he intended. My grandmother gets upset if I tell her that money she gives me is going for something responsible. If she sends me money for my birthday or Christmas, I better buy something frivilous because that was her intention!
Post # 4
I know where you are coming from, but I feel guilty spending any money at all! Even just buying groceries makes me feel guilty like I should be saving that for something else. I can’t imagine being gifted that much money. I probably would never spend it because like you I would feel guilty! I guess the best thing is to remember that your grandfather did give that to you for your wedding, and that will also free up some of your other funds to maybe put towards a down payment on a house later.
Post # 5
@MsGinkgo: Blah! It’s so bittersweet having this money!! (P.S. I guess I shouldn’t tell him that I also bought a new battery for my laptop for $18 on sale that I’ve needed for the past three months? )
@beetee123: That’s a good way to look at it! He has given me the opportunity to save the money I make on my own! (And sometimes I feel bad buying groceries, too… isn’t that ridiculous?)
Post # 6
I think if the money was a gift, you can do whatever you want with it. I always use money for life priorities because I am a very boring person. Christmas money? Sure, I want to renovate a property. Birthday money? Yes, I’d like some new stocks. I can totally understand why you wouldn’t want to spend it all on a single day. Maybe you could use half towards a down payment, and half on wedding stuff? The marriage is the important part, not the wedding and you guys will need a place to live!
Post # 7
@jwdesiree: I felt the same way, and it wasn’t really even “gifted” money. However, when it comes to more important purchases, we simply spend the money on that first (I’m boring and miserly lol). I would agree with MrsPanda99 (she always gives great financial advice) and put at least a portion, if not the majority, of the money away for a downpayment/necessity.
Post # 8
Nope! Of course the only money I’ve been “gifted” was birthday, xmas, or wedding money.
My parents did pay for over half my wedding but they didn’t give me the cash.
If you think it could be better used for other things maybe you could use half for the wedding and half to put towards a downpayment?
Post # 9
@MrsPanda99: @housebee: @kes18: Definitely solid advice, ladies. Thank you. Aside from our rings, I have also bought a laptop battery that I’ve desparately needed for months, and made a substantial payment toward my credit card. I love the idea of putting half (or more) away for a downpayment.
Post # 10
@jwdesiree: YES. I have no issue spending money I made myself, but when I get money and even gift cards, I just feel so guilty spending them. I got some AMEX gift cards as wedding gifts, and they are hung up on my fridge as I feel that whatever I spend them on would be wasteful. I am also way more particular about where our wedding cash will go than my own earnings. So weird.
Post # 11
TO @jwdesiree: Aaaah Hon, what a SWEET Grandfather you have.
Ok time to STOP feeling guilty. Cause “technically” you’ve used all the money so far just as it was intended (for your Wedding / Financial Betterment)
- Wedding Rings = Check
- Battery for the Laptop = Check (tell me you don’t use that laptop for Wedding Stuff)
- Paying off your Credit Card = Check
I just caught Financial Guru Kevin O’Leary yesterday saying that paying of Debt is virtually the same as SAVINGS… cause you are saving yourself from added expenses that come with Credit / Debt and doing right by yourself in the longrun… which is exactly what Savings are meant to do.
So there you have… you are officially GUILT FREE
Post # 12
@This Time Round: As always, you have made me feel 100 times better 🙂 Thank you. (And, yes, of course I use the laptop for wedding stuff… working on my website right now!)
ETA: He is the sweetest man in the world. I always told my mom when I was younger that I hoped the man I married would be just like him. I scored 🙂
Post # 13
@jwdesiree: I understand you, but yes the money was given for the wedding indeed and you should start by paying everything you need to get it off your shoulders (and no more financial stress during the planning, isn’t that wonderful ?). If there is any money left at the end, then yes, put it toward your downpayment. 🙂