Post # 1
My patience for waiting ebbs and flows, i can go for weeks when its just a passing thought in my mind and i don’t even feel too Urged to come2the boards that much, but other times- this past few weeks- i feel so uptight and annoyed that im still waiting.
the problem then i find is that i jump between being annoyed at him and being REALLY annoyed bu myself for not being able2just appreciate where i am in my relationship now.
one day i’ll be married with children (hopefully!) and i know i’ll look back on this time in my life with nostalgia and jealousy even that its been and gone. so why oh why can’t i just be here now?
Post # 3
I feel you; I’m in that spot right now too. I’ve been really annoyed with my SO right now because we are not engaged. My frustration gets really high when I am around people who ask me about it, it makes me self conscious and then I start questioning my relationship.
Its not that your not in the moment, its that you are ready to move forward and this is one of the events in like you cannot in anyway control. (Which drives me crazy!) From what I’ve read on the boards this is all very normal, it makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only bee on the crazy waiting roller coaster.
Post # 4
@Miss Yoga Pants:
You both said it perfectly. I have my “b***h” days and my happy days, and I don’t know what sets me off–it can be anything from hearing about someone else’s wedding/engagment to just being really happy with my SO one day and wishing we could just be “official.” I hate it! I know I am going to look back and miss the “dating” days but right now I feel like we have dated long enough and I want to start my married memories! I know it is not just him being slow, it is mostly finances that are holding us back, but I sometimes feel like he should just do it anyway to quell these rampant feelings! But then I get mad at myself for over reacting–it’s a cruel, cruel cycle, isn’t it??
Post # 5
This is my biggest problem. I need to learn to focus on the here and now and live in the present. If he marries me, he does, if not, he doesn’t. It helps me to think about the MARRIAGE and not just the wedding. I will have my whole life with BF, the wedding is the least important part so who cares how long it takes? But I go back and forth too!!
Post # 6
I cannot wait to be done with waiting. And I WILL NOT look back with nostalgia. I will be so happy that my waiting is done and overwith. It’s so stressful at times! In my previous relationship I waited 6 years. I was ready THEN. Now with my new relationship, it’s been three years and I’m still waiting. So I’ve been ready to settle down for a total of 9 years. NINE! I’m so done with waiting and I will not miss it one bit. I’m ready for a husband and children.
I think we all have our ‘b*tchy’ days. Heck, I had one last week when my 26 year old cousin had her baby (yes, this is the same cousin who met her b/f, now husband, online… They dated for 6 months and were married 5 months later. They barely knew each other a year when they got married!!). Then I started thinking about my other cousin, who’s b/f kept telling her: “Just tell me what month you’d want a wedding and I’ll buy a ring based on that”. She never answered him!!! She must have answered him at some point though cuz they’re now married with a baby as well. Also only 26 years old. This week has been all about me whining: “Why do I have to go through so much crap and wait for so long, and things for them just seem to happen so flawlessly??”
That is my rant.
Post # 7
Yep, especially since I’m in a can’t wait mood! I tried to describe how it feels to wait, but he couldn’t wait because he’s “patient”, so he says. Argh!
I try not to say too much, but lately it’s been hard. Even got a free $50 Visa gift card that COULD be used for wedding things, but I can’t. 🙁 Can’t even tell him that!
Post # 8
I completely understand the frustration with trying to “live in the moment” – I’m a dreamer and a planner, so this is SOOOOO HARD for me. It’s really easy for me to slip into thinking about the future, planning, and considering all the different what ifs. Even this afternoon, one of my grad classes was particularly boring, and I filled up an entire notebook page with ideas about color schemes and themes and lists of possible bridal parties. I vary between feeling insane for planning for something that doesn’t exist yet, frustrated with myself for not being more patient, and frustrated with him for making me wait so long! So, yeah, I definitely have those b*tch days too! I think we all do.
Post # 9
Hi Waiting Bees! I’m brand new to the boards and this post makes me feel so much better. I’m driving myself crazy with waiting and it’s so hard to keep my big mouth shut. Thanks for the encouragement from all that we all get like this from time to time.
Post # 10
I am sooo in the exact same place as all of you ladies. I’ve been in my relationship for 3 1/2 years. It is definitely an emotional roller coaster. Like on of you stated your frustrated with yourself and him for making you wait. I think many of my B***H days I”m near having an anxiety attack.
For example my bday is this Sunday. He asked “what do you want for your bday and what would you like to do”. Ummmm I think you KNOW what I would want for my bday. If a proposal doesn’t happen this weekend for my bday (which I doubt it will) I’m going to have another B***H attack. Just because any gift I receive from my BF it’s going to be like “Thank You” (sarcastically) While in my mind I’m like that money could of been spent on the RING! I know that’s bad, but uugggghhhh it sucks! I know he won’t do it this weekend though just because he knows that’s what I want. And it’s too obvious and easy. He REALLY wants it to be a suprise 🙁 I do too but just do it already! After this there isn’t another ‘special day’ until Christmas. And if he waits until then I may go crazy. Hopefully it’s somewhere between now and then since I’ve blatantly made my point of wanting this B4 the New Year. We will see….
Post # 11
I actually feel a b***h day coming on today, so I’m happy to read this thread!! I’ve been really good the past few weeks since my bf told me how stressed its making him that he knows I’m mad he hasn’t proposed yet. But then several “Oh, you’re not engaged yet?” moments happened this weekend. I bit my tongue, but now I’ve been stewing about it for 2 days and I can’t take it any more!
If he’s worried because he knows that making me wait is getting me upset, why is he still making me wait longer??!! Ughhh!! Thanks for the strength and perspective I get from reading all of your posts – it really does help me feel better to know I’m not alone!
Post # 12
I completely know this feeling! Listening to you ladies is like hearing everything I have thought and felt over the past 4 years… What makes it worse for me is that where I live I am surrounded by churches, and the one across the street is constantly having weddings! Right outside of my window! But you know what I was thinking is, I wonder if guys really have that feeling of wanting something and having to wait for it. Whatever they want, they get. Take us for example, when they are ready to get married, here we are! lol
Post # 13
Ugh. I’m really feeling the bad part of the waiting cycle right now. We have a really romantic trip coming up (Napa Valley + San Fran) and I know–I KNOW–he’s not going to do it then. There’s just no way he’s gotten to the ring part of it. There have been no signs or anything that he’s thought about it/talked to my parents/done any planning. BUT a lot of other people are saying maybe he’ll do it then (because of location, some romantic activities that I planned, etc.) and I’m just getting depressed having to talk myself out of it.
What I really don’t want to do is be bitchy/upset on this wonderful vacation. 🙁
Post # 14
I wouldn’t say I consider myself a b*tch during this waiting game….more like a temper-tantrum throwing, crybaby, whiny little brat who pouts & stomps her feet when she doesn’t get her way.
Post # 15
I really have my days right now!I had the flu a few days ago and I was all mopey and sad about it. He came over after work and took care of me. I loved it! He made me laugh and smile and lifted my spirits, but also brought me Gatorade and 7 up, he even remembered I liked prefer diet 7 up! It reminded me that I have a wonderful boyfriend and I enjoyed every moment. It’s ironic that the guy I’m so impatient with is also the one that makes me feel better about it.
Post # 16
I was a TERROR at the end of my waiting days! It’s amazing that he even still wanted to marry me! Anyways, you’re definitely not alone!